Topic: Do you believe profiles? | |
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OP, there are so many different ways to go about this!!
- you could revel that life gives you a challenge of having to decide who else is a liar and who is not (the ability to make a choice is very refereshing, and the instances make your life joyful) - you could revel in that you can have a path of learning to separate the chaff from the wheet, and enjoy your path of growth - you could enjoy to learn how to read between the lines, how to psyche out another by not basing your view of them on the content of what they say, but how they say it, how they phrase the things they say, their values embedded and revealed through their styles and content; you could learn how to see what's important to a person from the nuggets they drop. You can learn to first look for and notice, and then later automatically notice the clues in the content. ---------- or.... ---------- :::: you could wonder why people lie, why they don't stop lying :::: you could reject 100% of those with good will and sincere intentions because 20% of all writers are horribly abusive lyars :::: you could choose to become a skeptic with no real answers to her questions :::: you could draw blanket conclusions and not learn how to differentiate between "this" and "that"; you could stand there in the vast void of not understanding, and not even embark on a mission of discovering patter recognition and intelligent analysis, or else gut analysis and intuitive knowledge, or both :::: you could complain about the status quo as you perceive it and ask others how they cope with it |
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Lately, many people who contact me tell me they want me to tell them all about myself, rather than them reading profiles because everyone lies on profiles. I've noticed this more and more lately. Are you like this? When you contact someone, do you want them to tell you things, so that you can check to see if they're truthful? Does this happen to you? Do you find that many people are wary of believing anything in a profile? The latest guy told me that if I expected people to read my profile, rather than repeat everything there, it must be because I've forgotten what I have written. Man, some people are bitter and assume everyone is alike. I believe in people so I don't ask. If they are untruthful it will come out. Everybody is innocent until proven otherwise to me. |
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I just prefe to hear people speak about themself once we are engaged in a conversation. IF they have already written it, its a stronger chance that its true and not just some whim they thought of when trying to be creative and original for a profile. So, to see if they're being truthful, you will ask them questions they've already answered in their profile? |
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OP, there are so many different ways to go about this!! - you could revel that life gives you a challenge of having to decide who else is a liar and who is not (the ability to make a choice is very refereshing, and the instances make your life joyful) - you could revel in that you can have a path of learning to separate the chaff from the wheet, and enjoy your path of growth - you could enjoy to learn how to read between the lines, how to psyche out another by not basing your view of them on the content of what they say, but how they say it, how they phrase the things they say, their values embedded and revealed through their styles and content; you could learn how to see what's important to a person from the nuggets they drop. You can learn to first look for and notice, and then later automatically notice the clues in the content. ---------- or.... ---------- :::: you could wonder why people lie, why they don't stop lying :::: you could reject 100% of those with good will and sincere intentions because 20% of all writers are horribly abusive lyars :::: you could choose to become a skeptic with no real answers to her questions :::: you could draw blanket conclusions and not learn how to differentiate between "this" and "that"; you could stand there in the vast void of not understanding, and not even embark on a mission of discovering patter recognition and intelligent analysis, or else gut analysis and intuitive knowledge, or both :::: you could complain about the status quo as you perceive it and ask others how they cope with it I wasn't the one assuming everyone lies. But, those who do could do some of the things you've listed. |
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Most profiles I've seen are either empty, or they contain the same dozen cliches you'll find in millions of other profiles. "I'm laid back and easy going," "I love my friends and family," "I like to go out or stay in," "No game players," "I am a single mother of three kids AND THEY ARE MY WORLD," etc. Minimal information at best.
There is a site where they make you write a certain amount of information in your profile -- I think it's 4 sentences -- before you can continue with the account setup process. I still find it sad but revealing to see the number of profiles that start out with "The hardest thing in the world is to write a few sentences about yourself." Then they will put something like "It's telling me this isn't long enough, I have to add more, but I don't know what to say so I'll just write blah blah dxdxdxdxdxx maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe" until they think it's long enough to pass the requirements. Why even bother at that point? If you have nothing to say, maybe it's best not to make the attempt, not to come across as a vapid loser. Well, I guess it's OK to be a vapid loser as long as you're laid back and easy going. |
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Most profiles I've seen are either empty, or they contain the same dozen cliches you'll find in millions of other profiles. "I'm laid back and easy going," "I love my friends and family," "I like to go out or stay in," "No game players," "I am a single mother of three kids AND THEY ARE MY WORLD," etc. Minimal information at best. There is a site where they make you write a certain amount of information in your profile -- I think it's 4 sentences -- before you can continue with the account setup process. I still find it sad but revealing to see the number of profiles that start out with "The hardest thing in the world is to write a few sentences about yourself." Then they will put something like "It's telling me this isn't long enough, I have to add more, but I don't know what to say so I'll just write blah blah dxdxdxdxdxx maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe" until they think it's long enough to pass the requirements. Why even bother at that point? If you have nothing to say, maybe it's best not to make the attempt, not to come across as a vapid loser. Well, I guess it's OK to be a vapid loser as long as you're laid back and easy going. I pretty much skip over these kind of profiles. Or, if they're blank, I skip them. There needs to be at least something there that gets my attention. Otherwise, I know nothing about them and there's nothing to start a conversation with. |
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The latest guy told me that if I expected people to read my profile, rather than repeat everything there, it must be because I've forgotten what I have written. Man, some people are bitter and assume everyone is alike. Huh. What an odd statement. Well, this is why my profile is down to a one-liner. They are irrelevant. Besides, I never talk with people that I don't know from the forums first anymore. |
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I agree with sooooo many posts on this thread. I have received an email, recently, actually, from a man who said he intentionally doesnt read profiles because they are all lies. This tells me, he thinks Im a liar before any exchange of any kind. 'click' In addition, if anyone tells you that everyone lies, I think they are really just confessing to me that they are a massive liar. This is why they cant imagine otherwise. I wonder why they think we'll continue talking to them when they're calling us liars from the beginning? |
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If someone is calling me a liar from the start, he'll quickly realize that's not the way to get me to want to talk to him. Maybe it works with some ladies?
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Lately, many people who contact me tell me they want me to tell them all about myself, rather than them reading profiles because everyone lies on profiles. I've noticed this more and more lately. Are you like this? When you contact someone, do you want them to tell you things, so that you can check to see if they're truthful? Does this happen to you? Do you find that many people are wary of believing anything in a profile? The latest guy told me that if I expected people to read my profile, rather than repeat everything there, it must be because I've forgotten what I have written. Man, some people are bitter and assume everyone is alike. when someone asks me to tell them about myself I either delete them or refer them to my profile depending on the content of the remainder of the message and if meeting them is even geographically feasible (they 're not from.....say ghana). Sometimes - if they seem pretty interesting otherwise I will ask them if there is a particular topic they have in mind AFTER I refer to my profile. I don't get too wanked about it because I do not read profiles of everyone I talk to. But if I was going to spontaneously message someone not from the forums (so I don;t know anything about him), I would of course read his profile hence expect the same. I mean, I am not a machine. I don't ALWAYS do things the same way, but this is my general approach to your question. I do not assume people are lying (except obvious scam bots) but I think some prolly say a few things they think others want to hear. if they ask me to tell about myself I assume they haven't read, or are not creative enough to have a decent conversation so it is kind of a turn off - most information will be revealed through normal conversation - I don't play 20 questions in my personal life. I get enough of that at work |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Fri 12/09/11 07:01 AM
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If someone is calling me a liar from the start, he'll quickly realize that's not the way to get me to want to talk to him. Maybe it works with some ladies? I think it might. I bet it makes them feel 'special' which is likely the goal. He says he's not gonna read the profile (lazy) and justifies it by saying he wants to get to know her for real. Some women may well fall for that logic. Not me. Not you. Someone out there is his match. Special is not the word I'd choose.. . |
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Most profiles I've seen are either empty, or they contain the same dozen cliches you'll find in millions of other profiles. "I'm laid back and easy going," "I love my friends and family," "I like to go out or stay in," "No game players," "I am a single mother of three kids AND THEY ARE MY WORLD," etc. Minimal information at best. There is a site where they make you write a certain amount of information in your profile -- I think it's 4 sentences -- before you can continue with the account setup process. I still find it sad but revealing to see the number of profiles that start out with "The hardest thing in the world is to write a few sentences about yourself." Then they will put something like "It's telling me this isn't long enough, I have to add more, but I don't know what to say so I'll just write blah blah dxdxdxdxdxx maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe" until they think it's long enough to pass the requirements. Why even bother at that point? If you have nothing to say, maybe it's best not to make the attempt, not to come across as a vapid loser. Well, I guess it's OK to be a vapid loser as long as you're laid back and easy going. I pretty much skip over these kind of profiles. Or, if they're blank, I skip them. There needs to be at least something there that gets my attention. Otherwise, I know nothing about them and there's nothing to start a conversation with. |
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Lately, many people who contact me tell me they want me to tell them all about myself, rather than them reading profiles because everyone lies on profiles. I've noticed this more and more lately. Are you like this? When you contact someone, do you want them to tell you things, so that you can check to see if they're truthful? Does this happen to you? Do you find that many people are wary of believing anything in a profile? The latest guy told me that if I expected people to read my profile, rather than repeat everything there, it must be because I've forgotten what I have written. Man, some people are bitter and assume everyone is alike. when someone asks me to tell them about myself I either delete them or refer them to my profile depending on the content of the remainder of the message and if meeting them is even geographically feasible (they 're not from.....say ghana). Sometimes - if they seem pretty interesting otherwise I will ask them if there is a particular topic they have in mind AFTER I refer to my profile. I don't get too wanked about it because I do not read profiles of everyone I talk to. But if I was going to spontaneously message someone not from the forums (so I don;t know anything about him), I would of course read his profile hence expect the same. I mean, I am not a machine. I don't ALWAYS do things the same way, but this is my general approach to your question. I do not assume people are lying (except obvious scam bots) but I think some prolly say a few things they think others want to hear. if they ask me to tell about myself I assume they haven't read, or are not creative enough to have a decent conversation so it is kind of a turn off - most information will be revealed through normal conversation - I don't play 20 questions in my personal life. I get enough of that at work If I get the "tell me about yourself" from a guy, I will ask him to read my profile and if he still has questions or wants to chat about something after that, then to let me know. Most of those guys definitely aren't creative enough to even let someone know what it is they'd like to know. |
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I agree with sooooo many posts on this thread. I have received an email, recently, actually, from a man who said he intentionally doesnt read profiles because they are all lies. This tells me, he thinks Im a liar before any exchange of any kind. 'click' In addition, if anyone tells you that everyone lies, I think they are really just confessing to me that they are a massive liar. This is why they cant imagine otherwise. either that or he is (most likely) making up an excuse not to take the time - ummm - what? come on a dating site and refuse to read the info???? really |
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If someone is calling me a liar from the start, he'll quickly realize that's not the way to get me to want to talk to him. Maybe it works with some ladies? not here - I do not like negatives from the start - I pretty much assume that I am seeing their best behavior at the start |
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Most profiles I've seen are either empty, or they contain the same dozen cliches you'll find in millions of other profiles. "I'm laid back and easy going," "I love my friends and family," "I like to go out or stay in," "No game players," "I am a single mother of three kids AND THEY ARE MY WORLD," etc. Minimal information at best. There is a site where they make you write a certain amount of information in your profile -- I think it's 4 sentences -- before you can continue with the account setup process. I still find it sad but revealing to see the number of profiles that start out with "The hardest thing in the world is to write a few sentences about yourself." Then they will put something like "It's telling me this isn't long enough, I have to add more, but I don't know what to say so I'll just write blah blah dxdxdxdxdxx maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe" until they think it's long enough to pass the requirements. Why even bother at that point? If you have nothing to say, maybe it's best not to make the attempt, not to come across as a vapid loser. Well, I guess it's OK to be a vapid loser as long as you're laid back and easy going. I noticed what you have, with a high correlation of "lazy" writers being extremely attractive. They can't be bothered to sit down and compose, and in deed, there is no need for that. The attractive people, and I don't want to point fingers, but you are one of them, get tons of letters anyhow. If you say that giving information by the attractive person shall give an indication of whom she wants, will make no difference in the volume of her correspondence. There is no point for her to write anything after she posted her picture or pictures. ------- And for me, I can't honestly downplay the difficulty of writing about the self. I, for one, never do. I write, sure, but reveal very little. Perhaps also because if I reveal anything about myself that is truthful and has practical use in knowing it about me for the reader, these pieces of information are each and every one very negative, repulsive, off-putting. Maybe this is one reason for people to write cliches. But one thing is certain, which is that in my opinion if you look attractive on your pictures, or the person's photographs you post as your pictures, then you are instantly popular. |
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Lately, many people who contact me tell me they want me to tell them all about myself, rather than them reading profiles because everyone lies on profiles. I've noticed this more and more lately. Are you like this? When you contact someone, do you want them to tell you things, so that you can check to see if they're truthful? Does this happen to you? Do you find that many people are wary of believing anything in a profile? The latest guy told me that if I expected people to read my profile, rather than repeat everything there, it must be because I've forgotten what I have written. Man, some people are bitter and assume everyone is alike. when someone asks me to tell them about myself I either delete them or refer them to my profile depending on the content of the remainder of the message and if meeting them is even geographically feasible (they 're not from.....say ghana). Sometimes - if they seem pretty interesting otherwise I will ask them if there is a particular topic they have in mind AFTER I refer to my profile. I don't get too wanked about it because I do not read profiles of everyone I talk to. But if I was going to spontaneously message someone not from the forums (so I don;t know anything about him), I would of course read his profile hence expect the same. I mean, I am not a machine. I don't ALWAYS do things the same way, but this is my general approach to your question. I do not assume people are lying (except obvious scam bots) but I think some prolly say a few things they think others want to hear. if they ask me to tell about myself I assume they haven't read, or are not creative enough to have a decent conversation so it is kind of a turn off - most information will be revealed through normal conversation - I don't play 20 questions in my personal life. I get enough of that at work If I get the "tell me about yourself" from a guy, I will ask him to read my profile and if he still has questions or wants to chat about something after that, then to let me know. Most of those guys definitely aren't creative enough to even let someone know what it is they'd like to know. that's not a bad approach - if they are genuine you would hear from them again, if not, who cares I don't worry too much about the lack of creativity (even tho it's prolly true) because I think a lot of guys are a little nervous about messaging (hence we get nudged to death ) but a complete unwillingness to make an effort - no so I take each situation 1 by 1 |
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There was a guy who nudged me yesterday and then emailed me to let me know he did it specifically because I said not to. For some reason, he thought I'd find that funny and want to chat with him. I don't understand this way of thinking.
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I wonder why they think we'll continue talking to them when they're calling us liars from the beginning? Good question. It can be answered by pointing out that the male ego is gigantic; he figures his blasee brilliance will impress you to no end. I know, because I used to do that, too. And while I can't speak for others, that was my normal motivation to be nasty with people. Not to hurt them, not to belittle them, but to impress them. There IS a slight difference in the hue of one-upping others when you vie for leadership and when you vie for acceptance. Mostly the recipients of arrogance can't tell the difference. But there is one. |
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There was a guy who nudged me yesterday and then emailed me to let me know he did it specifically because I said not to. For some reason, he thought I'd find that funny and want to chat with him. I don't understand this way of thinking. "Necessity is the mother of all inventions." "Desparation moves men to try all kinds of different angles." "Most men use most angles, sooner or later, and most women will experience all angles in a large multiple of times attempted." |
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