I have not been out sleeping with people but I now understand the Charlie Sheen quote of "I don't pay them to sleep with me. I pay them to go away". Getting people interested is far easier than getting rid of them. Anyone else notice this???

no, i don't have that problem

Yeah, I don't have that problem, either. I still haven't found a viable way to get them interested.

Even if I wanted to pay them I couldn't catch them

Not in the last 20 years no lol.Martin

Ya.
This is why you think REAL hard before
letting anyone in.
It is about timing.
If you are not in the exact same space
at the exact same time, one will be
more involved than the other.
Recipe for angst.

Soufie,

Is there a way to put your life's worth of experience in my head by Vulcan mind meld or something to save me all this grief??

I am going back to my volunteer gig where any man who wants to date me has to go through about ten 55+ year old men and women just to learn my name. LOL. Seriously I am.

No.
Time in rank, sister.

You will just have to learn to be
more unattractive.
So that every man is not after you.
And refusing to let go.

Tea...is it possible you are putting out a invitation to these men? Seems like you have issues with all these men constantly. It may be subtle..but men are simple and read it as a invitation. Just food for thought.

(nods in agreement)

yep, but it seems for me that "lending an ear or listening to someone" they make the assumption you are interested in them somehow. I have found being an empathetic person that listens to others has made me targeted somewhat. Therefore, I put my foot down ans set boundaries.

It's really good to be completely up front and honest about what's going on. If you're not in the same place at the same time as someone else, let them know! So many people don't do that. They just act like nothing is going on, or they ignore the situation, rather than being honest and dealing with it.

Sometimes, it seems as though people think they can hint around at something, rather than just being honest. If you're not interested in someone, or trying to "get rid" of someone, flat out tell them you're not interested anymore, rather than assuming they'll figure it out. Obviously that won't always work, but it's the best way to start.

I agree. Be honest and direct.

Ohhh hell I'm not paying anyone to do anything with me or for me...The way I look at it when it is time for them to go it is time for them to go...

I just open my mouth and tell them it is not working out.....NEXT~~~

I just leave little love notes.
Here is the water bill.
I know when she told me about her water breaking she was concerned.

The one thing I've noticed is that a lot of guys mistake being nice for flirtation, and I have to resort to being down-right mean to get my point across... Sadly, it hardly ever works.
A male friend of mine said that they assume I'm playing hard to get, and that irritates me because my no never means yes.

Pyxxie,

At my volunteer gig, there is a Vietnam vet, Mike, who everyone assumes is my father and his girlfriend who everyone assumes is my step mother, Marilyn. Marilyn says that while I do nothing wrong, I need to work on the "NO, I am not available vibe". I actually wear a cheap wedding set to work. Everyone who knows me knows it's fake from a distance it looks like about 2 carats and very nice. I also have a men's army jacket heavy duty that looks like I robbed my boyfriend's closet. I wear it when I go into the bad part of town (which is where the good thrift stores are) and it does help. I am in a military community and if they think your boyfriend is in the armed forces (even my imagined boyfriend) they do tend to leave you alone. Marilyn says though it is not my fault at all because my father is southern and I am pretty friendly and also fearless from growing up in Los Angeles, I need to really work on that vibe of "It is NOT okay to just walk up and assume I am available". She says I need to project a mind set of while I am approachable and friendly, I am NOT available that way. Not that I do anything wrong but when they do approach me like that, I should take the stance of "That is not appropriate". My other co-worker, Jeanette, says I also need to take the stance of "It's none of your business" if anyone asks me a personal question of any kind. Like not even giving my name unless it's relevant. The rings and jacket are a new thing. Also, not answering questions about things like my tattoo or ear piercings. Marilyn says they are tasteful and nothing to discuss. It is nobody's business who did them or where or anything. Just to ignore what she calls "starter questions". Meaning conversation starters. Just to ignore those men and go about my work. My friend who runs the place Val will walk men who she thinks I should met into the office and introduce them. Not necessarily to date but as "this is a safe man to talk to". Val says if she does not introduce me, there is probably a reason.

This is the main reason that I am very very careful in who I show interest.

I do not like to cause others any discomfort when dealing with me if I can help it.