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| Topic: What's the ideal way to treat this? | |
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I think it can easily fall into the category of ex. I mean I still love my ex but would I get back with her. You will notice this little sentence at the end. "You're straight but already loving them." I mean it would be possible to still love someone but find out that you and them weren't meant to be together. I find that acceptance is the key to a lot of my decisions. If I can accept something or can't accept something is really all that it boils down to. 
everything is a choice, except birth we choose what is or is not acceptable to us,, very well put,,, |
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I think if the op meant that they had surgery to become whatever gender they are, then there is no real deception. If there is deception, then there is betrayal of course. I dont know what I would do but I would feel violated. Its not clear to me what the op was describing. well I think not disclosing something like that is pretty deceptive - that is not exactly like lying about his height by a few inches...it's pretty major if something like that were not disclosed to me beforehand I doubt the friendship would continue - were it disclosed beforehand the friendship might continue, but I am nearly 100% certain that it would not be a romantic one |
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You're in a relationship with a suppose opposite sex partner and after a while in the relationship, you found out that they're transgender. Do you kick their butt or let it be? You're straight but already loving them. I feel you were deceived. However it will always be your call. GL |
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I think a transgender male to female could fool a male but the other way round less likely. Girls, if you're in bed with a guy and he goes for anywhere other than a hotspot first, be afraid. 
Somebody hasn't heard about Foreplay. Hahahahaha |
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I am neither pro nor con regarding sexual deviances and preferences. I am an emotional deviant, and whether a deviance is emotional, physical, sexual, or inter-species, they are all part of a diversity of the human nature that I feel should not invite discrimination. However. There are lies and there are lies. Particularly if a lie is coveringup a deal breaker or not. A woman who puts on make-up is lying, but her birthmark revealed with the wash-off of the make-up or when her bra comes off and light comes to her vasectomy, the guy still knows she is a woman. Despite her lies. You see, straight guys get repulsed by gay sex, and gay guys get repulsed by heterosexual sex. A very gay friend of mine told me that I should not describe sexual acts, even such mild ones as sucking on a female breat, because it grosses him out. I got grossed out when in my taxi two young gay men could not wait to get home. This is human nature. We can internalize tolerance, but we can't go against our nature, whether we are gay or straight. A MAN who makes others believe he is a WOMAN is using make-up to lie, too, but the lie is too big. It breaks a barrier, it is so big. No straight man would want to know a another man in the biblical sense, whether that other man is dressed as a woman or as a wolf in sheep's clothing. So the lie makes a huge difference in this case. I am not judging anyone, please don't get me wrong. I am just saying that lying about your gender when meeting people potentially for sex istherefore not acceptable by most members of society. Then they retaliate, whether justly or not, is none of my call, but explicably. The explanation is easy: when a man thinks he is about to experience the ultimate sensation of pleasure, and instead he is grossed out, he can't be expected to act in a sportsmanlike behavour, or to be a good soldier about it and shrug it off. This is a very major issue, not due to honour, not due to morals, not due to religious feelings (I have none of these three), but a total urge to puke with immediate notice is biological, and that is that. You can't argue a man out of biology. Whether he is gay, straight, or likes men dressed in women's clothing. Much like you can't convince a man who jumps off a cliff to fall up and not down. Somethings are better said ealier, rather going to far in a romantic relationship. |
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some folks are born both genders so their parents can decide 'for them' which gender to keep at birth. Sounds wild but true. So when they come to adulthood, and decide that the gender that was chosen for them (not born with), and lived with in dishonesty to their true feeling, has been a lie, and they get the surgery to be who they truly feel they are and always were, ....how is that trickery? I dont get it. Its something that happened to them, to be born and assigned the wrong sex. If they had that surgically corrected, they are the sex they claim to be now. Its not a guy in a dress, its a gal, now. If its shocking for you to deal with, why would you assume they have comfort with it themself, enough to discuss it with you. Its a big deal I would think to share something like that. I have no idea what it would be like to live my life as a boy/man then finally have surgery to make it right...I am definately a girl/woman. What a hard life that would have been. Ive had relationships with men who didnt know my very deepest darkest secrets. I think we earn the priviledge of knowing someones secrets. We arent entitled to them. Its not trickery in all cases. IF you were born with OVARIES< that doesnt change with any surgery. If you were born with ovaries and testes,, deciding would be a necessity. If you were born with just TESTES, that is also not going to change by recreating the appearance of the OUTSIDE. If you were born with testes AND ovaries, deciding would be a necessity and not a deception. Those born with testes, who later decide to APPEAR as if they have ovaries, are being deceptive UNLESS They share that that is what they have done. Those born with ovaries, who later decide to APPEAR as if they have testes, are being deceptive UNLESS they share that this is what they have done. If you're proud of who you really are, why lie about your person? Especially to those who've chosen to be up and personal with you? |
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Edited by
josie68
on
Tue 11/15/11 04:15 AM
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@Msharmony Once again your point comes across as invalid (to me). Do you wear makeup? Hair extensions? Fake eyelashes or nails? It's all the same thing. You purposely change your appearance to lure some unsuspecting person into a relationship, to be something different, and a few weeks later they see you without all of the gaudy stick ons and find out that they weren't getting what was on the packaging either. People do it to cover up diseases, deformities, birthmarks, and scars, are you saying they're wrong? Are you saying ugly people should be thrown in jail because they put on makeup to fool people into thinking that they're pretty? not quite whether I have extensions or eyelashes or nails, will not affect the end game in 'mating' with someone, which is a significant factor when we get 'physically' involved cosmetics to make us more 'attractive' are a totally different thing than costumes to make us appear to be a totally different gender Wrong, it does affect the endgame, you want to know how I know? The vast majority of my family is the entertainment business. You know how many guys I have seen and heard flip when they found out that this hot chick they were about to get busy with wasn't actually all that hot. And just like with a trans person, a lot of them shut down the girl or they would only continue because they felt bad. You accuse transgender men and women of deceiving people into the mating game, when females do it every day. And for the record, transgender men and women rarely actually get to the full blown "mating" part if they didn't enlighten their partner if they were pre-op. Guys who would go off because someone was not 'hot' enough are jerks. Guys who would go off because they went out with someone who pretended to be a different gender, have realistic expectations. I dont want to have to WONDER if the guy I am with is really a girl. If he is dressed as a guy, portraying himself as a guy, but the equipment doesnt match,, he should be saying that before any romance develops. A male should have the same expectation of a female he is with. And for the record, I take no issue with those who are sure to disclose the truth about their gender before romantic and physical elements get involved. My peeve is with those who purposely sell a pickle to someone they know is interested in a doughnut.. or vice verse. MsHarmony wouldnt be horrid to the person it is just her personal preference that she wouldnt date a women, even one who had a sex change, I wouldnt either and would feel very betrayed if somebody got me to care about thenm without telling me that. I would never be mean and would continue to be friends but not have a physical friendship. I very rarely wear makeup and people get to see me exactly as i am no false eyelashes or anything else, I will always be honest and expect the same thing. The second things started getting anything more than friendship, thats the time to be honest if you havent already done so. |
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@Josie
I never had a problem with Msharmony's personal preferences in her relationships, what I did have a problem with was the fact that she thought trans people should go to jail for rape. That was it.
I should have stayed on, this got interesting afterwards. 
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Does the poster mean transvestite or hermaphrodite? My understanding of transgender is one who has had the surgery to change/reassign their gender. Transgender folk aren't always post-op. Transvestites and hermaphrodites are two entirely different things. A transvestite are men who dress up like a woman just for sexual gratification or similar purposes. Transgendered actually want to BE a woman or a man and are going through the steps to do it by taking hormones and altering their appearances both non-surgically and surgically. |
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@Msharmony Once again your point comes across as invalid (to me). Do you wear makeup? Hair extensions? Fake eyelashes or nails? It's all the same thing. You purposely change your appearance to lure some unsuspecting person into a relationship, to be something different, and a few weeks later they see you without all of the gaudy stick ons and find out that they weren't getting what was on the packaging either. People do it to cover up diseases, deformities, birthmarks, and scars, are you saying they're wrong? Are you saying ugly people should be thrown in jail because they put on makeup to fool people into thinking that they're pretty? not quite whether I have extensions or eyelashes or nails, will not affect the end game in 'mating' with someone, which is a significant factor when we get 'physically' involved cosmetics to make us more 'attractive' are a totally different thing than costumes to make us appear to be a totally different gender Wrong, it does affect the endgame, you want to know how I know? The vast majority of my family is the entertainment business. You know how many guys I have seen and heard flip when they found out that this hot chick they were about to get busy with wasn't actually all that hot. And just like with a trans person, a lot of them shut down the girl or they would only continue because they felt bad. You accuse transgender men and women of deceiving people into the mating game, when females do it every day. And for the record, transgender men and women rarely actually get to the full blown "mating" part if they didn't enlighten their partner if they were pre-op. Guys who would go off because someone was not 'hot' enough are jerks. Guys who would go off because they went out with someone who pretended to be a different gender, have realistic expectations. I dont want to have to WONDER if the guy I am with is really a girl. If he is dressed as a guy, portraying himself as a guy, but the equipment doesnt match,, he should be saying that before any romance develops. A male should have the same expectation of a female he is with. And for the record, I take no issue with those who are sure to disclose the truth about their gender before romantic and physical elements get involved. My peeve is with those who purposely sell a pickle to someone they know is interested in a doughnut.. or vice verse. MsHarmony wouldnt be horrid to the person it is just her personal preference that she wouldnt date a women, even one who had a sex change, I wouldnt either and would feel very betrayed if somebody got me to care about thenm without telling me that. I would never be mean and would continue to be friends but not have a physical friendship. I very rarely wear makeup and people get to see me exactly as i am no false eyelashes or anything else, I will always be honest and expect the same thing. The second things started getting anything more than friendship, thats the time to be honest if you havent already done so. thank you josie, you said it much better than I did 
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@Josie I never had a problem with Msharmony's personal preferences in her relationships, what I did have a problem with was the fact that she thought trans people should go to jail for rape. That was it.
I should have stayed on, this got interesting afterwards.
I dont think people who are trans should go to jail for rape. I think people who TRICK others into sex, should be considered for statuatory rape,, on the grounds that although it was 'consentual', what was being 'consented' to was something different than what happened,,,, Im sure that could cause SEVERE emotional trauma to someone who has no interest in lying down with one gender or the other to find out later that that is EXACTLY what happened that information should be provided BEFORE anything physical happens |
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If you're proud of who you really are, why lie about your person? Especially to those who've chosen to be up and personal with you? The problem remains that you have not defined 'what' they really were. Are we speaking of a man who dressed as a woman, or of a woman who was born with both genitalia, or what? I'm talking of a sex change |
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yeah, Id want to know before it got to a physical stage if I was laying down with a 'natural born' male or a 'natural born female' operated on to appear male,,,
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You could probably buy a chromosome test kit on ebay. You cant have all those little Y chromosomes X'ed out. Its the only way to be sure.
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You could probably buy a chromosome test kit on ebay. You cant have all those little Y chromosomes X'ed out. Its the only way to be sure. If they have a child with someone of the opposite gender, its pretty good chance too(unless there was an adoption) I still dont think the man made soldier shoots out sperm,, to be blunt nor do I think the man made womens bits create milk or produce eggs,,, |
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Ummmm, I couldn't be in that situation. It wouldn't be possible.
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Ummmm, I couldn't be in that situation. It wouldn't be possible.
I guess so, since you're already in a relationship...lol |
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I think i would become sick lol then violated,cheated,lied to and disrespected.I dont know, i think a good head butt might be in order lol.Martin
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You're in a relationship with a suppose opposite sex partner and after a while in the relationship, you found out that they're transgender. Do you kick their butt or let it be? You're straight but already loving them. Love is love. Sex is sex. You can have that with anyone. (welcome to America) If you got no problem with it...great.I don't see the down side. except for family gatherings. |
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You're in a relationship with a suppose opposite sex partner and after a while in the relationship, you found out that they're transgender. Do you kick their butt or let it be? You're straight but already loving them. Love is love. Sex is sex. You can have that with anyone. (welcome to America) If you got no problem with it...great.I don't see the down side. except for family gatherings. |
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