I know this one will probably backlash at me for stirring the pot amongst the more modern thinking women.

I am often asked in real life how I get so many guys who want to commit to me. How I have been proposed to over and over and shot men down. Only accepting the proposal from my ex husband.

I will tell you first off while "Sex in the City" is a popular t.v. show, I have found guys do not want to marry "Carrie Bradshaw". She is not who they are taking home to his parents. He might have a fun time with her as a sexual plaything but she is not who he wants for a life partner and definitely not who he wants as the mother of any future children. I can count the number of men I have slept with on two hands with many fingers left over. At 41 in CA, that is unusual. I do have a lot of guys I have gone out with and not slept with. I am not a tease. I just have no desire to raise my sexual partner number outside of a committed relationship that I imagine if it did break up in hindsight I would not have regrets.

Also even though I am a loud mouth who talks a lot of smack with friends, I remain proper about things. One of my friends says that one outfit of mine could be cut up and made into 15 outfits of some of the girls in CA.

I know a lot of people are probably looking at my picture, etc. and thinking I am just a plain Jane, etc. I find often when guys are looking to commit, they do not want the flashy scantily clad types.

Another draw is how practical you are. Like a boyfriend will offer to take me shopping and I will drive north in the direction of the mall and keep going until I hit some of my favorite hole in the wall thrift shops. I refuse to pay $15 for a t-shirt I can get for $1.50. It has nothing to do with being poor. I has to do with how I choose to spend money. Often they are very amazed that I come home with an entire designer wardrobe including shoes for less than the price of one outfit retail Guys really do look at that and think about what it would be liked to be married to you as far as how you would manage their money.

When I was young and went to college, I have male friends who I had a pact with that if I was not married at 30, we would get married in order to establish a family. I was married at 24 but they did call my parents' house at 30 to see if I was single. Now, I have successful guy friends who retire at 55 and we have pacts that if I am still alone when they turn 55, they would like me to be in a relationship with them after their retirement as they would like to spend their golden years with a woman they care for and trust.

I don't think it's overly complicated. Guys will marry/commit what they respect. The others are mere playthings.

Do guys like sex? Of course, who doesn't? But they will not commit to a, for lack of better words, "tramp".

Any thoughts?

I have to agree with what guys will settle down with in the end. The line of "She's the kind of girl you sleep around with, and you are the kind of girl you bring home to mother" .

I couldn’t disagree more, there are over 7 billion people on this planet and each one of them has his/her own wants & desires. Needs and requirements differ for all of us. To suggest any one group has a better formula than another is lunacy.

There is someone (even a lot of some ones) for everyone, though the search may be trying. Plenty of jerks, whores, azz-holes, liars, criminals and yes, even politicians and attorneys have been “brought home” to meet the families or their mates.

The bottom line here is that we end up with (unless we chose to settle, which fits into this equation as well) the person we see as the right fit.

heyyy.
i'm a tramp,
and i've been proposed to many a times.
your theory is flawed.

That theory is very flawed. A man who likes sex should marry a woman who also likes sex, otherwise he will soon be stepping out on her.

A woman who likes sex is not going to be an angel. I have a relative who wanted a committed relationship and a family, but he really liked sex. He married a beautiful stacked blond who was an exotic dancer who had children from a former marriage. They get along great and are very happy and committed and faithful to each other, and he adopted her children.

Theory is flawed. It takes all kinds.

Nobody said anything about not liking sex. There is a saying that everyone is a prostitute (male and female) just some people's prices are much higher than others. I think women who say they don't like sex are lying or if they really don't, why are they looking for a man? Why don't they just diversify their portfolio?

Not everyone has the same sex drive. You are wise to find and pick someone whose sex drive is compatible with your own.

Its not that some women do or don't like sex, sometimes it is who you have the sexual chemistry with that counts.

I don't like sex just for sex....

But with the right chemistry, .... it could happen.

:Second that!

I am curious did you get the family heirloom ring with the guy dropping to one knee thing?

I agree completely

a man who marries a woman who will not or cannot satisfy him sexually, but marries her for some false societal value is opting to lay in the bed he made....tough

tho I am sure that many of those marriages work out fine - just to avoid generalizing


...it's the old double standard

me? Ima looking for a man who is not susceptible to the double standard & can think independently outside the box

Im glad you got to that last line,,,,guys commit to what they respect,,,lol

I totally agree

but different guys have respect for different types of girls..

I tend to agree with the holding out for something special.

What I have observed and been told over and over by guys talking to me for various reasons is when a man choses to get married, rather than just have a F--k buddy, sex is not going to be top on his list. He is going to want a woman he "likes" and feels he can trust. "Maybe she won't be virginal but she will be well past or never really needed to bone a guy just to impress her friends, piss of her parents, or because she can ". She won't be easy. He will have to man up.

Yea there are guys who get "caught" and "do the right thing; especially if a kid is involved but it is more about their honor than someone who put out".

I am sure there are exceptions; I have seen guys who think if a gal tells him he is the exception they want t believe it so bad they talk themseof into saying it doesn't natter when he finds out he has been lied too but it usually cooks the relationship.

I am missing the part where the op suggested that liking sex was a deal breaker,,,

"but different guys have respect for different types of girls."

I think that's a point well made harmony! I really don;t think I'd be compatible with a man swept up in the double standard. it's just to hypocritical for me, but I agree - to each his own

'Tramp' can be looked at differently whether one applies it to a lady or a gentleman. Case in point: The movie, "Lady and the Tramp". I think it is the old double standard thing. This whole 'Do as I say and not as I do' mentality I have a problem with.

Well, you did say me won't commit to a tramp, so I can see why people were thinking you were saying they'd commit to someone who doesn't like sex as much.

What do you consider to be a tramp?

Okay this is what I meant by tramp and it's crude and offensive by my standards. My guy friends refer to certain women as "used Kleenexes" meaning everybody has blown their wad into them. Nobody wants to marry that girl. I did not want to use that terminology outright because it's graphic.

I never said I didn't like sex. I have very fiery and passionate sexual relationships but I am into long term serial monogamy.

So do you consider yourself to be just one of the guys or just one of the gals? Careful how you answer because it is a gender identity thing.

I lost my true love Nanci on Jan. 29th.2007.

My wife (((Nanci))) had a stroke a week before Christmas in 2006. Nanci had open heart surgery a week after New Years in 2007. The day that Nanci was to come home, she was unresponsive and passed away.

I miss her so much. Nanci was the Love of my life.

I can honestly say that 26 of my 60 years were the happiest years of my life.

I don`t try to compare people, but the last 2 relationships I was in since my wife passed away have been both users and losers.Didn`t take me long to figure their games out.

I feel that you get a couple of chances in your lifetime for True Love. I have already experienced True Love once in my life. I hope to experience True Love in my life again. This is what I want to commit to.

Teadipper....In your profile( when asked to

rate your profile) ,you had stated you

were not even looking for a husband...or wanting children

in the first place(but for some reason, you left that part

out now in your update ).

Which is fine if that is still your desire ( but I would

suggest putting it back in your profile, so others may know

what you are specifically looking or not looking for )....


But , does that then mean you still want a monogonous

committed relationship with a guy anyway.....but , just without

ever leading to marriage?

But then that would mean, you most likely will be attracting

a guy who is Not going to bring you home to momma then.


So, what category would you fall under then.....?


See what I am saying?


Point being...let's not categorize men and women on

here into groups....because each person is a very unique and special

individual unto him/herself....including you.