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| Topic: How do you like your .... | |
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Edited by
cinnamoncookiemeat
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Tue 10/11/11 07:41 AM
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When in a relationship do you find it hard to just say what it is you like from the way you like your coffee, to the way you like your sexual positions? Do you consider yourself a shy mate? And if you've been with your mate a while do you still have quircks that you hide from them?
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No, I don't find it hard to say what I like. Communication is key. If you can't communicate well about what you want/like, there will be problems.
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When in a relationship do you find it hard to just say what it is you like from the way you like your coffee, to the way you like your sexual positions? Do you consider yourself a shy mate? And if you've been with your mate a while do you still have quarks that you hide from them? Not sure what an elementary particle has to do with relationships, but I'll bite. I tell the mate anything and everything negative about myself I can think of. The good things can all be discovered in time. |
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When in a relationship do you find it hard to just say what it is you like from the way you like your coffee, to the way you like your sexual positions? Do you consider yourself a shy mate? And if you've been with your mate a while do you still have quarks that you hide from them? Not sure what an elementary particle has to do with relationships, but I'll bite. I tell the mate anything and everything negative about myself I can think of. The good things can all be discovered in time. It takes three quarks to do the tango! Two up and one down or two down and one up! |
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Edited by
cinnamoncookiemeat
on
Tue 10/11/11 07:43 AM
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The reason for the topic is that I've run across alot of people who are not open with their mates and then they don't understand why they have communications issues. I've also found alot of people who feel that if they tell their mates specific likes and dislikes that they run the risk of scaring them away. And sorry don't have spell check but, enjoy sarcasam so thanks!
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I believe in laying it ALL out honestly and fully right up front - at the beginning. And even then, in my experience, you may have to do it again periodically, because it's a lot for the other person to take in.
I've been on the receiving end of too much dishonesty and evasion to do it any other way than brutal honesty. There's nothing lonelier, to me anyway, than being in the wrong relationship. |
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I believe in laying it ALL out honestly and fully right up front - at the beginning. And even then, in my experience, you may have to do it again periodically, because it's a lot for the other person to take in. I've been on the receiving end of too much dishonesty and evasion to do it any other way than brutal honesty. There's nothing lonelier, to me anyway, than being in the wrong relationship. I agree with you 100%. Wish more people respected brutal honesty.And as far as getting stuck in the wrong relationship been there done that, it gave me a glimsp into why people snap.No one should be lied to from my point of view not even a lie of ommission. |
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Some great replies.
I agree being honest and open is critical. I am learning as I go to try to tell the most important stuff but let the conversations kind of take their course naturally. I have found some of the little stuff is not that important to tell for a person who may or may not turn out to be significant. My expression, especially my eyes, generally shows what I like and don't like so unless a guy REALLY has to have the dots close together my smiles and caresses tell him when he is on the right tract. I do believe the whole dating process tends to do a hatchet job on peoples self esteem. Especially now days when expectations for first dates seem to be so extream. |
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When in a relationship do you find it hard to just say what it is you like from the way you like your coffee, to the way you like your sexual positions? Do you consider yourself a shy mate? And if you've been with your mate a while do you still have quircks that you hide from them? I don't see any point in withholding information, so I have no problem saying what I like and don't like. |
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Some great replies. I agree being honest and open is critical. I am learning as I go to try to tell the most important stuff but let the conversations kind of take their course naturally. I have found some of the little stuff is not that important to tell for a person who may or may not turn out to be significant. My expression, especially my eyes, generally shows what I like and don't like so unless a guy REALLY has to have the dots close together my smiles and caresses tell him when he is on the right tract. I do believe the whole dating process tends to do a hatchet job on peoples self esteem. Especially now days when expectations for first dates seem to be so extream. So you think that whenever a person is not entirely forth coming that it may be an esteem issue? or acceptence issues? |
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Hell no!
How the hell am I supposed to convince the woman I love that I am the man of her dreams if she knows how screwed up I am? So, if she cooks tofu..I will tell her it's "AMAZING!!!!!"...then try to slip it to the dog under the table. (dogs wn't eat tht crap either) If she only want's to have sex in the same position that Mom does...I just go with it cause I wouldn't want her to worry about "Who's better?" If she dresses in green crocs, purple shorts and a red tube top...I just tell her that her eyes are gorgeous. No point in pointing out that she is a colour blind freak with horrible tastes...if she was screwed up enough to pick me...I gotta cut her a break if I can. hehehehehehe |
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OMG...I love that...thats the kind of real answer I was hoping for.
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