I can't be the only one that feels this way, can I?

Maybe I'm just too cautious when it comes to dating. I tend to scope a potential partner out for a long time before I consider her dating material while, I'm assuming, most just jump in and use dating as a way to find out. Probably a bit of being afraid of rejection and/or making sure to take the time so I'm not compromising my standards. Either way, I may as well be a monk since it's been a while since I've gotten some lol

Honestly, I've only been with two women; one was my wife of seven years who I was going steady with since early high school, and the other I met after our divorce and our relationship lasted over a year. Never been one for flings or that sort of thing, though I've had my share of opportunities with the few dates I've been on since. I could tell beforehand that we just wouldn't work and didn't risk getting emotionally involved, even for a needed lay.

Both women I've been with were exceptionally gorgeous so I'm sure my standards are sky high. Still, I think I'll hold out, even til my dying breath for the woman for me,. Whether she's Angelina Jolie or Rosanne Barr on a bad hair day, I don't care, as long as she's the one. Epitome of a hopeless romantic, I know.


Do you think dating sucks? Give me some reasons........

I like friendships better than dating. It was just a freak of nature I even got married the first time. In dating it is like you have to look your best. You go through this whole primping procedure. I get panic attacks from even thinking about it. Why would one want to scare the hell out of themselves? One can get nervous to the point of even backing out. It is like you on stage and the slightest mistake you make the whole audience will see. It is always the flaws that stick out and the negative feedback can just make a person want to go back into their comfortable shell and breathe a sigh of relief.

See, I think your 'standards' are
exceptionally low.
They were both 'gorgeous.'
Uh huh.
Something based entirely on society's
interpretation of how someone SHOULD look.
You shouldn't let others tell you
what that is.
Why not let love find you, then see what
kind of package it comes in.
Give yourself something lasting to hold onto.
Maybe sweetness and honesty and grace will
become more important than long eyelashes.

Raise your standards.
Date by integrity.
It will make you ever more attractive.

Unless you actually date, how are you going to know it sucks? And how are you going to find "the one" if you don't date?

Maybe try something different. If you meet someone and think she's interesting and you have even a little bit of interest in her, ask her out. Don't wait forever to find out what's wrong with her. Go out and have fun and see how it goes.

no it doesn't suck, but I don;t like it either. I think part of it is that I have been married also, as you have and it is hard to start over period - in anything. The mistake I made after my divorce was pushing too hard for the comfort of coupledom - because that is what I was used to - with guys who were totally wrong for me. So as far as dating being a pain - ya - it is because it's too formal. I'd rather just hang out - but if I tell a guy that he hears "hook up." So to set boundaries - I date and hate it. Maybe when I meet the right guy it will seem less stiff & formal to date

As far as your standards (since u asked) - the visual is pretty important to you - looks. And, that hasn't necessarily worked for you yet. There are a lot of very attractive women who are not gorgeous, so to speak. So you may want to think of qualities in addition to looks that are important. I sympathize because looks and grooming are important to me also - so no lectures from here about being superficial....but there has to be more than just looks for it to last, and no doubt you really do know that - oddly your post rang true to me for another reason. I am a beautiful woman - so I have been told over & over (I still believe I am plain) but anyway, when a female is very attractive, it is a struggle to get a man to see past that and want us for who we are...one of the reasons I am here - a man will judge me first by my thoughts...and as life goes forward that becomes more & more important - just a thought to keep in mind - we do not necessarily want to be valued for the reason that you value us (looks)...and that could impede your progress if we feel ur just with us cuz you like our looks

sorry this is so long - but your post rang true to me

I hear ya man. They don't know what we introverts go through

I thought I made it clear with my Rosanne Barr comment that I'm not just interested in looks, nor have I ever been. Both women I've had the pleasure of being with were the type of women I could see myself growing old with, they had all the qualities I esteem, like "sweetness and honesty and grace." My ex wife and I didn't work out because we grew apart and the other due to circumstance. I think my standards are intact, thank you

I think you're right.

Words of wisdom I agree. Easier said than done for a socialphob like me

Yes, dating sucks, my sentiments exactly

Find something you really enjoy doing and invite someone along. At least then, you'll be going out to do something you really like.

that is prolly key singme

it's just that a lot of things I like doing are not things guys like or they are pretty obscure hobbies that most people are not interested in

the person who said previously (up there in the thread somewhere) that they just can't wait to go home from a date to get off the stage is right on

I don;t mind the primping part as I'd do that anyway but I don;t like feeling "on display"

I am also introverted so it prolly is harder for us to be out in public at all in the first place - much less do that wiht someone we hardly know & be comfortable!!

well off to work to drink more coffee.....

Surely there are things you enjoy going out and doing with other people. Listing to live music? Going to a museum? Art gallery? Exploring an area of the city you live in that you like?

Dating should be fun. If it isn't fun, they're probably not for you.

Hell I just don't date that way it's all good.....

Dating doesn't suck,,the act of doing it sucks.
Meeting someone for that first time..
Then seeing if you both clash or click..
All of that, is a format no-one really wants to undertake, yet thats what we all have to do.
And as your new to dating,,dude,,at least YOU have your youth yet.
be blessed with that man,,its like a 80 percent better mode than at my
age..Dating in a local way,,verses THIS net way,is also a far cry away from each other. Many on the net kind of Play more than their really looking to settle down.
meeting new people to be friends with is the only way to really attempt any relationship on the net,,then you get a chance to at least have some company to do things with and just kick-it for a day.
Nothing about that sucks,,because you have step-out to TRY and find each other..
I hope you have great luck in finding your babe..
But never start out thinking it will be bad,,,or it will be.
Have fun and I hope you make many new friends here..

I'm not that bad yet, but I am giving it serious consideration....

Nothing bad about it at least this way I take my own self out with out all the hassle.

Dude...for God's sake....

You are Hawaiian....Play "Tiny Bubbles" and just get laid....the dating will take care of it's self.

A married guy told me " date the wrong ones, and marry the right one"....as for me now aday....I say "4F's" (find them, feel them, f**k them and FORGET them)