Although it is seldom talked about or admitted, women are still subconsciously thought of as property. Your husband will never admit this and maybe he won't even realize it himself. But he does think of his wife as his property.

I discovered this and was quite shocked by it when my first marriage broke up and my husband accused a man of trying to steal his wife. He clearly thought of me as property. I swear that they would have probably agreed to playing a game of cards to see who could win me as if I had no say in the matter. One man was an expert bridge player and the other expert at poker. I wonder what game they would have chosen. I'm quite sure they would have agreed to the challenge.

It was then I realized that men think of women as property and I did not want to be married.

Some men, of course

just as 'some women' think (place stereotype here)


,,,but then there is a difference between merely being property and between 'belonging' to someone


my husband belonged to me until we agreed we were over, as I belonged to him

not in the sense that I could dictate or live his actions and choices, but in the sense that we had a specific relationship EXCLUSIVE to me and him

as my son is MY son,, he is noone elses son

yet , I dont 'own' him or control him, but we do both recognize the unique RELATIONSHIP we have with only each other

Where do I begin?

Tonight I make my Shahadah.

Tonight I prepare an iftar dinner for my friends and family.

Tonight I begin life anew.

If you do not know or have not learned about those that you "hate" you can not make a judgement call.

The ink of the scholar is more holy than the blood of the martyr.
Prophet Muhammad

God enjoins you to treat women well, for they are your mothers, daughters, aunts.
Prophet Muhammad

A Muslim must not hate his wife; and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, then let him be pleased with another that is good.
Prophet Muhammad

Those who are patient in adversity and forgive wrongs are the doers of excellence.
Prophet Muhammad


Jihad is NOT Holy War

Jihad is NOT blowing up one’s self (Suicide is a sin in Islam)

Jihad is NOT killing innocent people

Jihad is NOT flying a plane into a building packed with civilians

Jihad is NOT fighting out of anger and hatred

Jihad is NOT killing others just because they don’t agree with you

Jihad is NOT killing others just because they are not Muslims

Hadith : Shahi Bukhari.

Jihad is an Arabic word from the root Jee Ha Da. It literally means to struggle or strive. Jihad is struggling or striving in the way or sake of Allah. Jihad takes a very important status in the doctrine of Islam and is one of the basic duties for every Muslim. Though, it has nothing whatsoever to do with the term Holy War. Such a term, or its equivalent doesn’t exist in the Islamic doctrine. The Christian Crusaders in the mid-ages invented this ideology of Holy War. There is nothing “Holy” about wars. Wars only involve killings and disasters!

Jihad has many forms.

Jihad of the Heart/Soul

Jihad of the heart/soul; in Arabic: jihad bin nafs/qalb. It is referred as

“the greater Jihad” (al-jihad al-akbar).

It is one’s inner struggle of good against evil; refraining oneself from the whispers of Shaitan (Satan).

This process involves allowing Islam to transform one’s soul to achieving internal peace; and forgoing the hatred and anger.

“Jihad is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.”

{Quran, Surah 2: Al-Baqarah, Verse 216; Mohsin Translation}

Jihad by the tongue

Jihad by the tongue; in Arabic: jihad bil lisan.

It is defending Islam and spreading Islam by scholarly lectures, speeches and debates. It often overlaps with Da’awah (invitation to Islam, or spreading the message of Islam).

In The Last Sermon, Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) asked the listeners whether he has passed on the message to them; and they confirmed affirmatively. Then the Messenger of Allah ordered all those present today to pass on the same message to those who are not here today; and the last person to hear the message should understand it better than the people here.

Jihad by the pen/knowledge

Jihad by the pen/knowledge; in Arabic: jihad bil qalam/ilm.

This form of Jihad involves scholarly research of Islam in aiding the spread and defence of Islam; and publishing written articles in clearing misconceptions and correction lies against Islam. Examples of such Jihad include the research and discovery of scientific evidences, literature miracles and mathematical miracles from the Quran.

Messenger of Allah once stated that the ink of a scholar is holier than the blood of a martyr; and one who is reading looks handsome in front of Allah.

Jihad by the hand

Jihad by the hand; in Arabic: jihad bil yad.

This is a Jihad of action rather than words. At certain areas, it overlaps with Zakart (charity) and Hajj (pilgrimage). Some of its examples include giving charity to the poor and needy, performing Hajj or Ummrah, helping those who need help, saving people’s lives, etc. These are more of physical deeds instead of words.

“A person whose feet become dust ridden because of [striving] in the way of Allah will never be touched by the flames of Hell”

{ Sahih Bukhari 2811}

The most beautiful of all Jihad is a perfect Hajj. It involves testing of one’s patience and piety to the apex. The whole period of Hajj, with just one intention and aim, worshiping Allah!

Jihad by the sword

Jihad by the sword; in Arabic: jihad bis saif. In contrary to Jihad of the heart/soul; this form of Jihad is referred as “the lesser jihad” (al-jihad alasghar). Sometimes it is necessary to undertake Jihad by the sword. This would include usage of arsenals and engaging in a combat. This could be simply a bunch of freedom fighters or an organised campaign of army. Jihad by the sword is use of arms to engage into a combat. It is not misuse of arms to create violence.

There are only two situations were Jihad by the sword is allowed to be undertaken.

1) For self-defence. When someone attacks you or when your nation has been attacked. Engaging into combat due to self defence.

2) Fighting against evil and unjust. It is also a sin if a Muslim sees unjust been done, capable of stopping it, yet not doing anything about it. This can include war on drug, war on child labour as well as war on terror!

The American administration today seems to be launching a global war on terror, but are they the first to launch the war on terror? The Muslims already announced the war on terror fourteen centuries ago, under the name of Jihad bis saif!

There are many rules and limitations when engaging in combat under the title of Jihad. For example, civilians are not to be harmed; trees are not to be cut down; asylum should be granted to surrendering enemy soldiers; etc.

“And if anyone of the Mushrikun seeks your protection then grant him protection, so that he may hear the Word of Allah, and then escort him to where he can be secure, that is because they are men who know not.”

{Quran, Surah 9: At-Taubah, Verse 6; Mohsin Translation}

The above verse states that when an enemy soldier surrenders during a battle, the Muslim soldiers must grant asylum and in addition, escort him to safety!

The treatment for prisoners of war is also clearly stated in the Quran. Prisoners of war under Muslim prisons are to eat, drink and dress the same Muslim soldiers eat, drink and dress. And even under the unfortunate event of shortage of food, it is the prisoners who are to eat first before the Muslim soldiers guarding them!

A closer look at the Sword

Despite the fact that Jihad by the sword is the lesser Jihad, it is the only form of Jihad that most of the people in the world perceive Jihad as. This is unfortunate, especially for the Muslims. Many so-called “teachers of Islam” have been misusing this to assemble their so-called “holy army” to fight their so-called “holy war”.

But you can’t blame the religion for what a few of its people do. In every society, there is a black sheep.

Self-Defence:

Since Jihad by the sword has been overwhelmingly magnified in the wrong angle, let’s take a closer look at it in the right angle. What is wrong with Jihad by the sword if it is fighting for self-defence?

In the early years of revelation of Islam in Mecca, Muslims were not granted permission from Allah to fight. So the Muslims suffered both moral and physical humiliations from the non-Muslims in Mecca. The first verses regarding Jihad were then revealed allowing Muslims to undertake self-defence.

“And fight in the Way of Allah those who fight you, but transgress not the limits. Truly, Allah likes not the transgressors.

{Quran, Surah 2: Al-Baqarah, Verse 190; Mohsin Translation}

Many of the Quranic verses are being quoted out of context to wrongly justify terrorist actions. Yet, most of those verses are only referring to a particular situation; such as Battle of Badr or Battle of Uhud.

Intention and war against Satan:

“Those who believe, fight in the Cause of Allah, and those who disbelieve, fight in the cause of Satan. So fight against the friends of Satan. Ever feeble indeed is the plot of Satan.”

{Quran, Surah 4: An-Nisa, Verse 76; Mohsin Translation}

Now the second question is, what is wrong in fighting against evil and liberating people from sufferings?

“Once a person came to the Prophet (sws) and said that some people fight for the spoils of war, some for fame and some to show off their valor; he then asked the Prophet (sws): “Which one of them fights in the way of Allah”. The Prophet (sws) replied: “Only that person fights in the way of Allah who sets foot in the battlefield to raise high the name of Allah”.

{ Sahih Bukhari 2810}

Who is a Holy Warrior?

According to the Quran, a martyr who died in the way of Jihad is promised Paradise. But what are the criteria of martyr, or in other words, what are the criteria of a Holy Warrior undertaking the True Jihad?

The most famous of all Hadith is the one regarding everything we do are judged by our intensions; so as it is mentioned in the previous chapter.

So who is an example of a Holy Warrior?

Ali bin Abu Talib, cousin of Prophet Mohammed (s.a.w) and the fourth Caliph of the Islamic Ummah is a good example.

During one of the battles, Ali was about to give a deathblow to an enemy soldier. Just then, that enemy soldier spat at Ali. Ali then suddenly stopped, threw down his sword and refused to kill that enemy soldier. After the battle, Ali’s soldiers asked Ali why he suddenly stopped and refused to kill that enemy soldier on the battlefield. Ali explained that he got angry when that enemy soldier spat at him. So if he had killed that enemy soldier right then, he would be killing out of his own anger and no longer fighting for Justice. In the sight of Allah, he would then be no different from a murderer.

The why do they throw the word jihad around when they blow themselves up? Most people don't hate muslims in general, most people hate radical muslims...there is a difference between the two. You average everyday Muslim wants to live his or her life peacefully, but the radical muslim want's to impose their beliefs on others and do it forcefully if necessary. much in the same way christians have done in the past, romans, Vikings etc....

This has been said time and time again by Christians also.

thank you for contributing that, its good to see the 'other' side,,,

Jihad by the sword

Jihad by the sword; in Arabic: jihad bis saif. In contrary to Jihad of the heart/soul; this form of Jihad is referred as “the lesser jihad” (al-jihad alasghar). Sometimes it is necessary to undertake Jihad by the sword. This would include usage of arsenals and engaging in a combat. This could be simply a bunch of freedom fighters or an organised campaign of army. Jihad by the sword is use of arms to engage into a combat. It is not misuse of arms to create violence.

Islam is innately honest. Islam is spread by Jihad, regardless the form.

The last sentence is telling. Its OK to Create Violence because Allah Wills it.

To miss understand the Islam, is to forget the enemy the Ottoman Empire...

Read your history folks, before you get all so warm and cozy with the Muslim view of the world.

Jihad is NOT Holy War

Freaking precious.

See: Understanding Taqiyya ― Islamic Principle of Lying for the Sake of Allah

words on paper(or websites) are still from a place of the author's (limited)world views

I think its just as relevant to feel warm and cozy about the views some muslims hold as it is to feel cautious about the views others do

instead of painting all with the same brush or assuming one mass mindset in regards to violence

I just met a Christian Arab as in born here but parents are Arab. They own a small grocery store near me. OH he despises Islam for a host of reasons. He says his father and grandfather say Islam is a cult. Even he has the same opinion.

Now pretty words were used to rationalize the basis of Faith in Catholicism and how that PROVES God's existence as the god of their church. It was St. Thomas Aquinas in his Beautification of the Church that earned him sainthood.

Islam is at Holy War with Evil and Infidels who are evil. the thing is that ALL not of Islam are evil whether or not we really are. the Holy War is called Jihad by Islam. I have heard that whole Metaphor crap about how the holy war is within but you can only take a book like the Quaran figuratively for so much. Hasidicenforcer, chances are you got REAL lucky and landed an Islamic with a conscious and he questions the bloodshed ideals of the Quaran. but how many other women out there do you think are treated as well as you are. You are a minority in the Islamic community. Here in America Wife beating is not tolerated but under Sharia law it is. What would you say or do if he began to beat you or whip on you because you spoke up to him? What if he chose to invoke Sharia law to the fullest upon you?

I have heard everything you said before but the real question is under the Quaran what have I too look foreword to as an infidel since I refuse Christianity and Islam? I try to live a good life doing the right thing in an imperfect world. I have no need for spiritual guidance. I am to be condemned because a stupid book tells people I am evil since I don't choose to follow their drum beat? Why can't Islam turn away from such violent teachings? Why is it Shiite has to Kill Sunni and likewise? They are both Islamic are they not? But they both follow a different caliph within Islam and now they have to hate each other because of succession issues after Mohamed's death?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlkuyPDFhyo

It isn't the people that are the problem. it is the teachings of the Quaran! That is the issue. Jihad is not a metaphor. It is a real demand for blood. That is the same thing as when God in the Old Testimate commanded the Hebrew to take Canaan. In the book of Judges Israel went on a rampage of conquest and they were waging holy war to take land "God" gave them. SO much for the poor Canaanites who had a birthright huh? Now back to the here and now. Islam is under command to make war with the Infidels. Need I list the passages again? I think even with cultural differences aside an order to kill is an order to kill.

Shall I also look up the passages again how Islam defines their holy war as per their Quaran? If Islam turns away from the Quaran and embraces a new way of REAL peace and love and tolerance I would not have a reason to be scared of them! Fat chance of that!

When discussing Islam with hard core Islamics they get angry when I DARE question values and beliefs. "How dare I test their faith." So who is the sinner here? The man who sees the sin and questions it or the man who sins and gets angry for being questioned?

Well, as I was saying about Islam and how they kill each other too...

http://news.yahoo.com/muslim-sect-kills-cleric-northeast-nigeria-180541964.html

Yep, Nigeria is safe too.

So if one sect disagrees with another this is how they handle it...

Religion of peace huh????

"a radical Muslim sect"

Tell me, do you know of any radical Christian sects?"

How about the "white power" groups and the skin heads or the Jones town nut who convinced everyone to drink poison.

A radical Muslim sect or the radical Muslim brotherhood don't represent the entire religion any more than the radical fundamentalists who would burn me as a witch -- if it was not against the law -- represent all Christians.

I mean, lets be reasonable.

I am being reasonable. You want radical Christians? Born Again Christians. There are two flavors. One who found the word before the man, the other who worships the man and in ways that conflict with scripture. Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses count too.

But most real Christian extremists are loners. There are SOME groups but hey are rare. The thing here is this crap is all too common place and every time some Iman issues a Fatwa some new extremists pop up. So didn't you catch the whole "Western Education is Bad" thing??? In fundamental Islam THAT IS CANTON LAW! Again how about the whole Shiite and Suni thing? Baptists and Catholics are not going out of their way to hate each other.

Yep I agree

I am not familiar with the Shiite and Suni thing. I don't know what their problem is.

Baptists and Catholics? Well they still hate each other, but they aren't killing each other, at least in this country.

How about Protestants and Catholics in Ireland? Are they still killing each other?

Hey lets just all be friends. Don't mess with me and I won't shoot you. Okay?

I was not aware baptists and catholics hate each other,,,

why do I never receive these memos?

You have to go to the meetings.