I am a very overweight woman. I work out daily now and take care of myself. However, I'm still a little uncomfortable in public.

When I meet a guy and he starts flirting with me, I will make a fat joke about myself to make me feel more comfortable. I have done stand-up before and when i can make people laugh, I feel better.

Out of guys I flirt with, I get no laughs...is it a bad idea to try and make light of myself?

Depends on the guy...I personaly would not do that If they can't except it then forget them.

If your doing it for laughs and
the guys aren't laughing,
well..you know.

In that situation, yes. You're actually quite beautiful from what I can see in your pics. Don't put yourself down just because you feel uncomfortable about your weight.

Highlight the POSITIVE things about you, the things you like and are comfortable with.

I wish you much success in reaching your goals, as long as they are realistic and healthy. I hope that you learn to be happy with yourself regardless of where you're at weight wise.

...actually I don't know...

1 im not funny
2 they have not sense of humor
3 fat is not funny

Thanks totage, you really boosted my confidence. I'll definitely take your advice to heart.

I wouldnt do it. Maybe they are not focusing on your weight but you but then you just changed the focus.

I can definitely see that as a problem. Thanks Chazster.

Well, I don't know.
Ya asked if it was wrong to do it.

Don't know the jokes
or how you tell them
or the kind of guys they are
don't know what to tell ya

totage is right, you shouldn't put yourself down

IMO it's a defense mechanism, because you aren't comfortable with your weight and it hurts less if you say it about yourself before someone else remarks about it. BTDT

Please remind yourself that your weight does not define who you are as a person. Yeah, there are plenty of people who will judge you at first glance without getting to know you; however, I believe that's life's way of culling out the shallow ones.

Love yourself. Yourself is just fine.

You are showing the guys that you are self-conscious.

It's not a wise thing to do. Even if you're trying to be positive. They can see straight through you.

It's not good.

You need new, good, positive jokes. That are jokes, and are funny.

All the best!

I just hope its not because of my sense of humor.

Example: Today I was thinking it would be a great promo for kids to go online and decide if Ronald McDonald should go to jail. Then kids get free DVD mini-sodes of him in prison pumping iron with a tatoo of the Hamburglar on his arm. Further episodes would allow kids to vote if he should shiv Grimmace or get on the warden's good side.

Then I think that there should be a program to make our enemies in the middle-east eat our crappy fast food, and send them xbox 360 with Twisted Metal games. Less than a month later, they will be horribly fat, lazy people and bomb themselves for being infidels.

Then I think there should be a violent video game that allows you to be a terrorist and that would be a great prevention method because it would make american kids really fricking paranoid about others motives. "Why are you buying gum and orange juice? Are you making a bomb? Who do you work for Mom!?"
--

This is the crap that rambles through my head in just a few minutes time. All of it funny to me and not actually serious. I think if I had ambition I would be dangerous.

I love your personality and sense of humor. I think you're awesome. You just need to be comfortable with yourself.

You should learn flash and make those games, that would be awesome. lol

Wow, you're hilarious! Great sense of humor, Shayna. You should be a standup comedian ... or at least write for one.

Self deprecating humor rarely makes me laugh and just shows that the person has low self esteem. If you can make people laugh in other ways, that's great, but I'd leave out the making fun of yourself.

Well, it's a touch hypocritical. There's so many stories about how people aren't supposed to be so cruel and make fun of overweight people and yet the overweight people do it to themselves.

These guys are probably uncomfortable rather then amused. I know I would be.

Humor is a good thing. But I would suggest waiting until you know him better. Overweight people often do this so they laugh at themselves before the other person does. It's just a habit you can break. Let your good qualities shine first.

If a dude is flirting with you, then the one thing you never do is make fun of your weight. What you need to do is look at him and say, "I know you want to tap (point to your butt) this booty, but before you can even attempt this, I need license, registation, urine sample, SSN#, list of three references, and I need to know your net worth". If he can't find humor in this.....dump him!

That happened to me a couple of weeks ago, where a cute lady made a joke about her being over weight. I was stunned and didn't know what to say. How can you respond to that? There is no response.

I know what you mean! I did that too before I got my confidence in check. But then one day I caught myself saying some rubbish self-depractibg joke and it totally sounded like I was fishing for compliments, like I expected the person to say 'oh honey, you are not fat' when that was obviosuly not the case.

I'd say make em laugh with your brilliant wit about something else.
Good job on the new lifestyle. And the flirting