wow, you have a clearer grasp of our 'justice' system than most americans I speak to

nicely put

Okay....I am going to be bluntly honest, and I didn't include the quote here because it's too long. I am also not looking to get flamed, but rather to just speak my mind.

I get so sick and tired of listening to a certain percentage of women cry, "Oh, us poor women! Men are so evil!" How does this help anyone really? It just fans the flames of battle of the sexes.

Truth is, there is enough blame for both sides. Both make a choice and should be held accountable for that choice. And while some people are manipulators, they exist amongst both sexes. Some even believe that perception is more important than the actual result. ("It's not how good you are, but how you look doing" aka the art of bulls**tting or the snowjob.)

I've heard guys told to "keep it in your pants" or "calm your hormones" more often than I can count. So, there is some pressure on men to police themselves. I will say more on about this later though.

Okay, so if women get pregnant the physical burden is on them. That's part of making responsible choices. Accept the consequences before doing the deed, or take steps to avoid being in that situation.

The same goes for men. Either don't do it, or use contraception. Years ago, if man got a woman pregnant, he was expected to marry her....to do the right thing....to make a respectable woman of her, i.e. allow the child to be born into a family and then provide for the child rather than leave the mother on her own. Shotgun weddings. Women may not like the wording or the rationale, but that's not the point. The message was for men to take responsible for their actions, to own up to their mistakes and try to make the best of a bad situation.

However, at least in our society, there has been an erosion of accountability and responsibility. It is endemic to our whole culture, and it is spreading. But when someone mentions this, a sector of our population labels him/her as a prude, preaching outdated Puritanical ideals, who needs to lighten up, mind his/her own business, and remove the stick from his/her arse. That same group of people will then go on to complain about corruption or lack of transparency within our government. They will complain about corporate execs, and so on. There is a mentality, a double-standard, in this country which permeates all levels of society.

The Wall Street broker wakes up each morning, "Who can I screw today?" That's not because he enjoys it, necessarily, but rather just to establish the mindset he needs to get through the work day doing what is expected of him. Before we know it, commodity prices shoot through the roof just for the sake of a quick profit through rapid trading (and possibly violated SEC regulations).

The Congressman withholds his vote from a bill unless he gets $3 million in pork for a highway project, or a museum, or a public golf course in his home State. Meanwhile, the project runs over budget, the government is raising taxes while still running a deficit, and no one ever accuses the Rep. of blackmail.

Music videos show hot young women in skimpy outfits, or young guys with washboard abs and shirtless, dancing sexy and looking cool just to market a song to teenagers. Meanwhile, every one of them speaks about they are just like the kid next door, the average All-American young adult or how they grew up in a rough part of town, and they just want to be a role model for young people.

Both men and women sell personal sex tapes of celebrities they banged, or because they are celebrities themselves, just to get exposure and to make more money. Meanwhile, his/her partner is exposed without permission or consent, is publicly humiliated and reputation tarnished, but they accept it because they can go after a portion of the profits or just spin it to gain free publicity for a personal agenda. Apparently such a personal violation of trust and intimacy is no longer a traumatic experience nearly akin to rape.

I could name a lot more examples. The point is, there is growing mentality that everything is fair game as long as you don't get punished for it. It's okay to sneak into a casino underage to get free drinks....as long as you don't get caught. It's okay to drive 105 mph on the highway....as long as you don't get caught. It's okay to back into someone's car and drive away....as long as nobody sees you. There are a gazillion examples. Look at the scandal awhile back concerning Catholic priests who molested children in their parishes. As long as they didn't get caught, they apparently thought it was okay to do that too. We and our children are constantly bombarded by stories and images of people who do things that are irresponsible or morally wrong. Some get caught....eventually, but they got away with it for a really long time. Meanwhile, others can't be punished by the legal system, but they can be punished in other ways, like losing their job or losing customers or even friends. Instead, too many of us exhibit silent complicity.

More examples:

Bill Clinton "did not have sexual relations with that woman." He just got himself a BJ in the Oval Office. Apparently, fellatio has nothing to do with sex.

Everyone felt O.J. Simpson was guilty, but he was found innocent. Later, when sued by his deceased wife's family, O.J. was forced to pay. Um....so he's innocent, but guilty? Which is it?

Michael Irvin, Lawrence Taylor, Daryl Strawberry....all arrested on charges involving cocaine. The average guy on the street gets busted and sent to jail. These guys spend maybe a few hours or a single night, and then their own teams allow the continue playing without reprimand.

The mixed signals only confuse our children, and allow them to think making irresponsible decisions is okay. Add in peer pressure. All these examples actually allow people to rationalize bad behavior which only serves to enhance peer pressure. It comes down to sticking with one's principles rather than developing a lack thereof. Make sure you can handle the consequences before you act rather than evading them because the facts don't just change or disappear. It doesn't matter what sex you are.

I post this because it really frosts my arse when I read or hear a woman blame men for all the ills in the world. It was bad enough I had to grow up with a mother who took that point of view. Now that I'm an adult, I don't need to keep hearing such a load of utter crap.

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/birthcontrolfailure.html

A link showing failure rates among types of birth control. Doubling up will minimize a lot of it, but it's still no guarantee. I can attest to that. And yes, I did end the pregnancy, because I knew I wouldn't be able to afford a baby, as well as the fact that I'd had heart surgery 3 months before and the strain wouldn't have been good. Plus he had walked away when he decided he didn't want to move to the next level.

I think the straight age discrimination at 17 is ridiculous. I see no point in ruining a young person's life over it, in what should be a normal thing.

I do fault parents, however, for most of this. If adults actually TAUGHT their kids sex education, instead of ignoring it, making it out to be nasty, or even preaching the hypocrisy of abstinence and no other information, they'd take a lot of the mysteriousness factor out of it. My parents were open and honest, and because there was no giggly, sneaking around, I was 21 before I had sex.

I love men. I love women. There are many ways society gives men the short end of the stick(parental rights, domestic abuse punishment)

There are many ways society gives women the short end of the stick(asthetic, parental, marital expectations)



We should be shooting for a more balanced approach to things.
As to OJ, the justice system is a bit complex to understand. Particularly the two TYPES of justice. ONe is civil and one is Criminal and they have different standards of proof.

Oj Was not found guilty of murder beyond any reasonable doubt ( a criminal case)

but he was found guilty of wrongful death because of a preponderance of evidence
(a civil case)

great post

we live in a very confusing time, where the examples we are showing kids are not matching the lessons we want them to learn,,,

While you had some great thoughts in your post....not sure
where this is coming from. No one is blaming men for the ills
of the world, no one is calling them evil, no women are saying
boo wha

no. the laws are fine. rape and sexual assault are crimes perpretrated by and large by men against women and if anything the laws need to be stricter.

the message is know who u are being intimate with (as far as age) to be certain

virgin chasers beware

young ladies at that age need the legal protection that the law provides

though I also sometimes sympathize with males, I warned my sons to be careful because sometimes young ladies will use sex to purposely get a man in trouble - either with a pregnancy or a rape charge

enough young men seem able to avoid these entanglements so the others need to learn to do so as well

these protections are needed to protect young women from perverts and from being pressured

there are a lot of nice guys out there who could accidentally get into issues - perhaps we need to provide better education to young men regarding the laws and why they exist

bottom line is that they exist because of rape and sorry but rape is overwhelmingly a crime against women that happens all too frequently even with legal sanctions

I've even seen men lie about being pressured by a woman - where they were actually the ones who initiated the sexual activity - lie and say the woman did subsequently- if it becomes a problem for him < just be fair and balance what I said earlier about girls who "lure" guys.

so even tho problems exist on both sides (genders) - rape is still mainly a crime committed by men. No means no, and it doesn't matter what she is wearing or how far things have gone. If u hear the word "no" u stop. period. no excuses - no biology lessons.

the fact that u apparently have some pretty serious mysoginistic issues related to a dislike of ur mother does not erase the fact that rape is a crime committed almost entirely against women by men who have power and hate issues. your post scares me, quite frankly

exactly

it is what it is (rape) unfortunately

but fortunately there are plenty of good men out there who would never do anything like that and actually have gone the distance to help female victims

I guess being held responsible for the world comes from men claiming that they are the masters of it, don't ya think?

If men would stop claiming that they are the end all and be all then they won't get blamed for it all.

Now there are some men who don't believe this way but it is still pretty common.

So are men the boss, the top of the heap, the king of the hill or aren't they?

If they are they best have big shoulders to shoulder all the bad that is their responsibility.

I think it is unfortunate that we sometimes get so wrapped up in these things that we neglect to remember that people are individuals - and I'm as guilty as anyone here in a tendency to generalize without thinking


each gender has power and control freaks who commit insanities each in their own way

each gender has perfectly sweet and loving members who as individuals, love and contribute to society and relationships in very positive ways, each one unique

lest we forget that the good in people flatly & clearly outweighs the bad, I think it is important to recognize that we are discussing an unfortunate minority ( ha ha) here

and "all" men and "all" women do not do anything.....genralizations seldom serve a constructive purpose

Apparently no one else wants to acknowledge the anti-male sentiment here, especially...



This is the boo-hoo, poor women part which then goes on to place the blame on men.

Get real. There are a lot of promiscuous women out there in the U.S. I know a few that are really nice, cool women to hangout with, but I would be afraid to have sex with them because I know too much about their sex life. For instance, one girl will have sex with three guys in a row without any protection. I used to be interested in her, but became afraid of getting an STD from her.

I know another woman who after a year of marriage, just up and left her husband....moved 2/3 of the way across the country to be with family. Her husband didn't give her enough attention, so she started trying to get it from his friends. In the end, she had sex with two of his best friends before she moved out.

Granted the topic is statutory rape, but when some tries to broadly place blame on one gender over the other, it becomes a matter of personal behavior amongst both sexes. And because of the topic, we are inherently talking about the U.S. laws, not the rest of the world. Gender equality had improved a lot in this country during my lifetime. I remember a prevailing chauvinist attitude in my area during the 1970s. It's not nearly as common as it was back then.

Oh, and I love how I was accused of being misogynist just for trying to point this out. Did it ever occur to anyone that this is like the concept of original sin? "You are all damned just because you are human." It's the same idea. I certainly don't go about verbally bashing women because they are women. It's not something I personally believe in.

Oh, and by the way, the post I am referring to never mentioned rape at all. It did however blame men for not abiding by statutory rape laws despite the numerous cases of women teachers have sex with students.

Nice to know I get demonized because people don't read things in context.

oh, i like these easy ones. as he's not been found guilty of murder by a jury of his peers he remains innocent LEGALLY and constitutionally. he was forced to pay the goldmans not because a civil court found him GUILTY but because the jury there found him to have caused a wrongful death to which they assessed monetary liability.

Actually, no I'm not taking it too personal. Go back and read some of the reactions. Plus, I have seen past posts from Dragoness that were anti-male, and I withheld my opinion. Then I realized, I let others get away with stuff way too often. So I decided to take note and mention what no one else seemed willing to.

Anyhow, I'm not trying to start a war here. I'm just saying that I have let her speak her mind numerous times without interfering. Now I want to speak my mind with the same courtesy. Unfortunately, I got laughed at, called misogynist, am treated with sarcasm, and made to look like I condone rape by a group of responses. That's about two steps shy of what it's like to deal with Ana R. Kissed (if you don't know who she is, google her).

And remember, I was the guy who warned everyone what 14/88 meant when a young white supremacist came on here spouting off, and a few of us chased him away before he caused bigger problems.

there's more than enough male AND female bashing here. part of the territory but better to ignore it because it ain't goin' away.

First and foremost a lot of rape victims put themselves into compromising positions! Statistically speaking MOST rapes the victim knows the offender! Also most rapes occur on ground familiar to the victim. How does this happen? Well, allow me to illuminate you all.

Example. She has been dating a guy and after a few dates she decides to let him sleep with her and she goes to bed with him in her nighty but she has no intention of actually having sex with him. One thing leads to another and suddenly she is begging him to stop while he is going at it with reckless abandon.

FACT: Most men shut a lot of normal control down while engaged in sex so stopping mid coitus is really hard. Don't feed me any of that self control BULLSHITTE!

FACT: We are animals and when instinct is triggered it overrides common sense.

Now back to this example. The honorable thing for the guy is to go home or sleep on the couch! THAT IS SELF CONTROL. If you have no intention of having sex with a guy do not get into your undies and expect him to behave in a bed with you! Do I sound harsh? get over yourself! If I have daughters I will raise them to have standards and personal space standards is one of them. That means NO BOYS IN THEIR BEDROOM UNLESS THEY HAVE TOUCHING PRIVILEGES!

Oh but am I preaching morality? Yes and no.

Next example.

Dressing for easy access. Short skirt, no panties. Any GUY who is not gay will take that as an open invitation no matter how you tear it! Why do you think quickies and the term "blowing a quick nut" came about? A lot of men hump like rabbits, hard, fast, and shoot quick! With men it is about self gratification unless you get lucky and get with a guy who treats sex as an art and not an act!

Conduct also says everything. Being too flirty also implies consent even if she is not connecting. I am not justifying anything here. In a guy's mind he is looking for ANYTHING he can take as a green light to get some Pu$$y.

I have said it before, any guy who intentionally seeks out acts of Conquest by force is a rapist and deserves to be harshly punished.

BUT I am sick of bone cutters and cotton tails who plead rape when they put themselves into a position to allow it to happen. I would teach my daughters to gouge eyes and bite!

Welcome to the world of equal rights. Yep, equality at the expense of morals!


And Actionlynx, YOU ROCK!