yeah im really jaded and cynical in life right now. everyone has scarred me deep and caused so much hurt i didnt deserve and i dont think ill EVER find the "right one," or "miss right" or my "soulmate," as some saps call it. leave that crap in fairy tales and movies and books, this is real life and the real world is a cold cold loveless place. love is a rare and priceless commodity you dont get very often at all and im losing faith

I agree with you 100%. I already lost faith.

Somewhere out there, there will be a girl saying exactly the same thing (Infact there already is ^^^^)

See if you can find her and prove her wrong :)

Not sure cause if its true love where are they now?

there is much good in what you say

people must love themselves in order to have the tenderness and forgiveness and understanding to love another - they must be able to grant these things to themselves first

so if u know people who do love themselves, then you know people on the brink of being able to love

what a great place to be

in a romantic relationship?

twice....one of them being this right now.


in my day to day life?....constantly.

well at the risk of pissing peopleoids off....cuz I really don't care

if your down on love, your down on yourself

gotta love ourselves first

On this I agree that you have to love yourself first. I am not down on love with friends and family just with relationships.

No offense Navygirl, I have read many a post about your relationship troubles.

I am sure you know who you are, and in knowing that, you know what you've got.

What you had at the beggining of any relationship. That is what you still have.

You have to pick up the old baseball bat, and get ready to hit some slogs.

This is a new game with new players, but you still have your good old heart. That is what matters. Believing you can win and giving a good game to all players.

That is what is real ^_^

Thanks, but for me the fairytale is over. After you get knocked down time and time again; you come to a point where you just don't want to get up. I hit that point many years ago but I was just too stupid to realize this. Don't get me wrong I am happy for those that find true love and would not wish anything but pure joy for them. I am tired and no longer can put in an effort towards a relationship. I truly have nothing to offer a potential partner and I don't want to ruin anyone's life.

how many times have I been in love? Enough times to know it exists in many ways shapes and forms.

Dude, I was 34 when I met my late wife. There is still plenty of time for love to find you.

Once...and honestly I would say I still love the guy. But there comes a point where you just gotta move on and find something better.

I have to tell you, I really find your posts enlightening and refreshing, simply because of the way you stay true to yourself and refuse to kowtow to the standard boilerplate relationship mythology.

And a lot of times, you're expressing things I've felt but have never really verbalized.

I guess the only thing I would say is different for me, from what you wrote above, is this -- I have ALL KINDS of things to offer a potential partner -- but nobody wants it, because it doesn't include my willful acceptance of a frontal lobotomy with accompanying traditional blah lifestyle.

And I'm OK with that, because I'm worth more, as myself, than 100 debrained me's would be....

Well, sounds to me that you have already tried so very hard.

When you play a game so many times, you can tire of it. Being knocked down time after time, as you put it, can make you down hearted and give up.

I ask you to not give up on yourself. Take time to recover, remember all you have learned.

Everybody has something to offer somebody, and I doubt you could ruin anyones life.

I believe in you, and that is no fairytale :)

Yes, I hear you. I always felt like I couldn't be myself in a relationship. I never made a partner do anything they didn't want, nagging them to call if they are late, make a person do something they hated; give up their hobbies or friends, or try to change the person. Too many times you hear "If you loved me; you would...". I would never drag a guy to the Opera or symphony and I wouldn't go to the baseball or hockey game with him. There is always so many demands and rules in a relationship. Hell, the military had less demands on me than a relationship. Life is to be enjoyed and when someone tries to change you; mould you into the person they want; then it simply isn't worth it.

I appreciate what you are trying to say but I have had the same pep talk for many years. I simply can't commit anymore and in the last few relationships I was in; I didn't care less if the person came home. I have been told many times I have a wall around my heart so to speak; was even called a cold hearted b*tch which suprisingly I don't find insulting. My relationships weren't just the result of a guy abusing me as I know it was my fault as well. Maybe I frustrated him so much that I brought it on me. I know I am too independent and I know I don't need a man to do anything for me. You have to realize I have been alone most of my life and my relationships don't last more than a year. So, maybe it was all my fault afterall. I don't believe I have anything to offer anymore in a relationship but that doesn't mean I don't have much to offer those less fortunate. I feel wonderful being able to help with my charities and volunteer work. I love to immerse myself in my music and costume making. Heck I am even looking forward to yardwork for the first time in 14 years. I have never subscribed that there is someone for everyone and there is a small group of us that were meant to be single. It may not be the norm but at least its being true to myself. Perhaps you may understand when you reach my age. Cheers.

Many....

I'm still in love with my first boyfriend-he was 16 -I was 17


and many times after that

By the way I love reading your posts too. You don't BS anyone.

Too many times because I fall in love too easily. Actually, I USED to fall in love too easily.