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| Topic: Needing someone to hold | |
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Indeed
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I just find being in a relationship too phyiscally and mentally draining. Every guy I met has stressed me out to the point of being sick. I am also tired of the mental and physical abuse from guys because they can't cope with life. I have no desire to become a punching bag anymore. I just don't have the energy to give a relationship; to spend time with a person, to care about how their day went, to cuddle, to have discussions, or even have sex anymore. I am so tired; so damn tired of the whole situation. The worst part is, when you nicely ask them "please let me be for a while! Please don't ask me more questions, I can't answer them and I don't even like these questions! And then they won't listen and keep going at me. And then they get upset over it, because they don't want to listen and then I'm gonna say something mean to shake them off and finally they let you be. It would be so nice to fine someone who lets me be and do my stuff and doesn't bother me with too many questions and make up stories or accuse me of something or get jealous over nothing. It's like I'm constantly explaining myself, like a criminal suspect at the trial. That last sentence is my whole basically. That's how I feel like. 
I have an ex like that too! Explain how you feel, how you meant what you said, how you didn't mean it to sound the way he took it, REPEAT until you consider beating yourself into a coma 
Don't dare try to sleep or be alone with your own thoughts either, you must deal with my emotional insecurity NOW...UGH! NEVER again...I will find someone that I don't need to explain everything to one day & that knows, if I am upset, let me think it through & get back to you! |
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For a year after my ex and I split I felt so alone and desperately wanted someone to lean on and someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok. I wanted that so much I was willing to date anyone that came along which only caused more problems. But as time went on I became stronger and learned to take care of myself. Now I'm at the point where I could not be with anyone because I'm just too used to bring alone. I like my independence and my freedom and I could not give that up. yes you look like u r defending your borders and your independence there  
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Ever have a night where you just wish you had someone to hold under the stars? Someone just to make you feel like everything was OK, even just for a moment? Yeah, me neither. Just wondering... I read a story once, where a woman described the moment she fell in love. It was a first date. They were driving to their destination, along a dark hiway, tunes blaring. Suddenly the man pulled to the side of the road. He got out, went to her side of the car, and handed her out. He danced her under the stars, the music leading them. Silently, round and round. She was a goner :-) i had a moment like that. it was christmas eve and snow all on the ground. a good friend of mine came in and said he had a present for me and to follow him outside. his car was running, parked in the middle of the snowy road but he went to the passenger door, reached in the car, music started playing and then said "may i have this dance". it was gladys knight and the pips 'you're the best thing that ever happened to me'. we danced right there, in the middle of the road, no coats, no cares i will never forget that. r.i.p. G IDK- maybe r.i.p. got to me but Ima crying - beautiful strory |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Wed 05/18/11 06:31 AM
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I work entirely too much I'm told and don't have time for a woman..that comes from women themselves So I guess I'll cradle a beer in my hand every night after work and pass out, go to work, and repeat!
I hear ya - you'd think they'd just be glad ur working - I've had men want to meet me at all kinda weird times and I work till like 8 or 9 at night and then usually hit the gym almost afraid to get involved cuz I don't wanna hear it 
so...lovelife??? what's that? While it's definitely good to have a job, I'm not sure I could date someone who is a workaholic. Or who has really odd work hours.. or an opposite schedule than me. For a while, it would probably be ok, but I doubt it would work long term if I didn't see them much. it's not easy - I did for 5 years and ultimately it was not the schedule variance that was the reason for our break up but I think it is easier if there is at least enough overlapping time in the schedules to get some couple time in everyday. unfortunately for many of us the traditional 8-5 day is a luxury we can't find....and a lot of cute guys work 2nds anyway 
good morning singme  nice new photo!
How'd you know I worked 2nd shift?! (I really do)
uh yeah, uh-huh that's what they all say....
no I b'lieve u - but no I didn't know that just a nice coincidence I guess - so we can talk at 11 at night sometimes after everyone else goes to sleep 
and if ur a cute guy - that's a bonus |
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Edited by
Troublebug
on
Wed 05/18/11 06:57 AM
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I work entirely too much I'm told and don't have time for a woman..that comes from women themselves So I guess I'll cradle a beer in my hand every night after work and pass out, go to work, and repeat!
BOY, You better be glad your that far away. I would SO go cougar on you. 
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I just find being in a relationship too phyiscally and mentally draining. Every guy I met has stressed me out to the point of being sick. I am also tired of the mental and physical abuse from guys because they can't cope with life. I have no desire to become a punching bag anymore. I just don't have the energy to give a relationship; to spend time with a person, to care about how their day went, to cuddle, to have discussions, or even have sex anymore. I am so tired; so damn tired of the whole situation. The worst part is, when you nicely ask them "please let me be for a while! Please don't ask me more questions, I can't answer them and I don't even like these questions! And then they won't listen and keep going at me. And then they get upset over it, because they don't want to listen and then I'm gonna say something mean to shake them off and finally they let you be. It would be so nice to fine someone who lets me be and do my stuff and doesn't bother me with too many questions and make up stories or accuse me of something or get jealous over nothing. It's like I'm constantly explaining myself, like a criminal suspect at the trial. That last sentence is my whole basically. That's how I feel like.
they? if this is happening with several women than something else is going on, are they all very young? were they cheated on by another man previously? do u do anything to give them reason to question you? I'm not saying you do, Atlantis. You seem pretty straightforward to me I'm just saying if this is happening like with every woman, then perhaps there is a common denominator somewhere and BTW it is not unreasonable for partners to ask each other questions and seek communication, darlin' just trying to understand, please don't get me wrong 
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Ever have a night where you just wish you had someone to hold under the stars? Someone just to make you feel like everything was OK, even just for a moment? Yeah, me neither. Just wondering... I think everyone at one time or other has that need hell even hard azz me misses it once in a while 
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Ever have a night where you just wish you had someone to hold under the stars? Someone just to make you feel like everything was OK, even just for a moment? Yeah, me neither. Just wondering... Nope; that is what my teddy bear is for. 
I can live without the teddy holding me. Sure beats the alternative of having some abusive man hurting me. Yeah, not all the men are abusive; just all the ones I meet. Just I just have bad luck; year right!! |
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Just to contribute to this, you could think of it as: being ok alone and taking care of yourself as one level of strength. There are some people who can't even do that. Being able to handle the stress of a relationship as the next level of strength. However, I don't mean dealing with abuse and punching and someone who can't do thier part. But if you can take care of yourself, and be there for another person's needs to feel loved and share the good times and difficulties of of both lives, then you have done well!! I've seen a lot of bad relationships that are, yes, mostly the guys fault. But we are not all abusive, selfish, or extra needy. There are better things out there than you realize. Don't give up :) I have had 30 years of experience of this crap. I think it is time to give up. Its killing me physically and mentally. My health is worth more to me than love. Me too, but there are still some genuine blokes out there, Yep but the only good guys in my area are married. |
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I just find being in a relationship too phyiscally and mentally draining. Every guy I met has stressed me out to the point of being sick. I am also tired of the mental and physical abuse from guys because they can't cope with life. I have no desire to become a punching bag anymore. I just don't have the energy to give a relationship; to spend time with a person, to care about how their day went, to cuddle, to have discussions, or even have sex anymore. I am so tired; so damn tired of the whole situation. The worst part is, when you nicely ask them "please let me be for a while! Please don't ask me more questions, I can't answer them and I don't even like these questions! And then they won't listen and keep going at me. And then they get upset over it, because they don't want to listen and then I'm gonna say something mean to shake them off and finally they let you be. It would be so nice to fine someone who lets me be and do my stuff and doesn't bother me with too many questions and make up stories or accuse me of something or get jealous over nothing. It's like I'm constantly explaining myself, like a criminal suspect at the trial. That last sentence is my whole basically. That's how I feel like.
Yeah they are real control freaks or so dependent that you end up babysitting them. My ex would get upset if I was 15 min late and accuse me of being with another man. And people wonder why we don't want to get involved in relationships anymore. 
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Wed 05/18/11 10:33 AM
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I just find being in a relationship too phyiscally and mentally draining. Every guy I met has stressed me out to the point of being sick. I am also tired of the mental and physical abuse from guys because they can't cope with life. I have no desire to become a punching bag anymore. I just don't have the energy to give a relationship; to spend time with a person, to care about how their day went, to cuddle, to have discussions, or even have sex anymore. I am so tired; so damn tired of the whole situation. The worst part is, when you nicely ask them "please let me be for a while! Please don't ask me more questions, I can't answer them and I don't even like these questions! And then they won't listen and keep going at me. And then they get upset over it, because they don't want to listen and then I'm gonna say something mean to shake them off and finally they let you be. It would be so nice to fine someone who lets me be and do my stuff and doesn't bother me with too many questions and make up stories or accuse me of something or get jealous over nothing. It's like I'm constantly explaining myself, like a criminal suspect at the trial. That last sentence is my whole basically. That's how I feel like.
and BTW it is not unreasonable for partners to ask each other questions and seek communication, darlin' just trying to understand, please don't get me wrong
I understand the questions but my partner need not know where I am every minute of every day. This now becomes a control issue. I get tired when I am out for an evening and I am called on my cell every hour asking when I will be home. For goodness sake; I am not attached at the hip to a man!!! |
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