Hey everyone. So I'v been with my girlfriend for 14 years and now she wants attention from others. She says she needs to find herself and I shouldn't worry because she loves me and sex is just sex. Any opinions if an open relationship will work?

it totally depends upon how you define a 'working' relationship and how you view sex

these types of relationships probably work wonderfully for those who view sex as a mere activity, like bowling, or playing darts, thats done merely for entertainment,,,,sharing it with others would be no big deal

for types who consider the intimacy of sex to be something SPECIAL, however, this probably would lead to alot of insecurities and trust issues and quickly disintegrate

From the lips of a pet:
open relationships have to be based on complete trust, much like faith in a higher power, you do not get "in your face" proof of the mighty existence- or hard proof of partner trust. One will never be quite sure that, after all the pets have gone home, that their lover's thoughts belong to them. a true open relationship does not need to give or get consent, when choosing sexual partners; as long as no STD or extra kids are brought home. This is actually the troublesome type of relationship, unless you really don't give two hoots who has been dipping fingers in your pie.

The relationship status that harmony is referring to is "poly" -polyamerious (i know i did not spell that right) , one lover and many playmates. This type of relationship is more one sided, having one dominate(leader) partner and one follower(lover). The dominate partner cannot help but be attracted to others, the lover attempts to understand and thus agrees to "play-dates" where the lover literally gets to approve of the playmates. It shows respect from leader to lover, the leader trusts the lover to pick, and the lover trust the leader to come home again.

Our "family's" (wife/husband/me) "playmate shopping" would consist of going to various clubs and learning what each other liked about others. things like, hair style, jaw lines, eye color, body build etc. with this information we could then pick playmates that would please our "leaders" without making our "lovers" feel insecure.
At the end of the day in a poly relationship, it is all about coming home to the one you love the most,and being there when they need you, even if it means leaving the hot piece of "candy" and the bar alone.

To me an open relationship is a desire not to committ to one person, but in a sense having a back up plan one way or another.

If after a long period of time in a committed relationship one person wants to change things to an "open" relationship", chances are their heart isn't into the relationship like it was or anymore. I couldn't accept it, I'll be perfectly honest.

I know they say if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's your's, but in this case not for me. Having trust is one thing, but giving them a free pass is another. We can't always have our cake and eat it too

I agree. But its not the way everyones heart works, of course. Some see sex as the entertainment, seperate from the love or the commitment.

IMHO your girlfriend is hot for another guy (or girl) and wants to cheat with your permission. Your relationship is likely already over.

sex is sex... until one person takes it as more... Being in a committed relationship is about committing to "one" person. If she wants "attention" from other people, let her go find it... without you.

so you're 27 and have been with your girlfriend for half of that now? since you were 14? that's a long committment at a very young age. i'd say maybe you both need to take a time out and explore the world. for one, when you're in a loving, committed relationship, sex is not just sex, with someone else.

There are a lot of discussions and articles on the web about this. You want to know what the likelihood is that an open relationship could work in your best interests. There is no substitute for good research, but you have to do the work.

My own opinion, you are awfully young to be making important relationship decisions. On the other hand, This is a good time in your life to get through all the joy and heart-break that come with adventuresome relationships. I think that everybody should do everything at least once in their lives. You have time to figure out the answers to all the mysteries that life has in store for you.

only if both are into it!

The voice of reason.

I like this guy!!!

An open relationship is a totally complicated decision bc I do agree it may turn into having insecurities, So its something that yall may want 2 discuss a little more. Hang in there 14yrs is a long time. Ask urself if that's something that u can handle.

Well I'll be honest...for some people it might work, but I failed the "sharing" lesson in kindergarten.

hmmmm....

14 years... and then attention from others ...
sex is just sex ....

I smell death knocking on your door.

Well, if it helps you speed up to pay off the mortgage, yes.

I always wondered what death smells like. I could ask my father, I guess. But I can't because he is dead.

This is one tough thing to find out for sure.

Maybe I ought to wiki it or google it.

yeah..sex is just sex but an STD is not. No sex could possibly be worth getting dirty Dick disease!!!!!

let her go, move on....sounds like it's over anyway

yup...if you aren't sure I'm the one...there's the door! I don't share well

I have to agree with this opinion.