As hard as it is there is little you can do to change her mind about him. What you can do is make sure she is on the pill or other methods in order not to get pregnant.

What ever you do don't let him move in and if they get married after she graduates then tell her they are not living there don't make it easy for them.... ( hahah if it was only that easy) Been there done that and let my son and his girlfriend live with me was not long my granddaughter came along...

They are not together now for it did not last...It is a tough call.

We can all say what you need to do but in reality most can't do that to their own kids...

Will she figure it out herself maybe maybe not but we can't force them to do what we think is the right thing....

We all defy our parents and have to learn the hard way... All you can do is put the rule down that the education comes first and what the rules are for your house.

Does not mean they will follow through with all your advice...

I know his Grandmother lives in San Diego but I don't know about Seattle and they are looking into bus tickets and she is sow trying to sell her possessions.

To answer an earlier question, he has only started donating but his money is probably going to cigarettes.

She wants to get married this summer but won't graduate until January. I was told that they wanted to get married last month but I talked her into waiting until late summer. I don't think she will wait much longer than that because "she is old enough to do what she wants".

*groan*

This sounds like rebellion masking as idealism.

I really don't know what to say because I know you two already have the same questions and fears that I do about this.

Like I said before, I am not a big fan of tough love. However, I do believe there is a point where a line needs to be drawn.

The whole point of moving to San Diego or Seattle is to get away from you. Who's idea do you think that is? I'm willing to bet it is not hers. Now I definitely think this guy is manipulating her.

Still, I believe this is a lesson she needs to learn on her own. Like you, I fear what "mistakes" she will make on the way. On the other hand, I have known a number of women who made similar mistakes, and learned their lesson at a young age. They turned out fine afterward. Some people just need to learn the hard way...

If it was me, I could make the tough choice and feel good about it. But, I do not feel comfortable telling someone else to make the choice I might make just because I do not know the people involved as well as you do.

I will say this: tough love works only when you have tried being loving and supportive and have made sacrifices, but the person only continues to respond with rebellion. Once they are pushed away after all that, they are forced to deal with things on their own. That's when they realize their mistake. But, it's not fool proof, and can backfire.

To me, tough love is a last resort. When used as such, it can be effective and preserve the family bond. I really hope it doesn't come to that though.

Thank you everyone...

she going to find her self with no else to turn
when she finds out that she expecting and she knows that your only one that is willing to stand behind her. for this guy is not going to

And Cap and Eileena know we'll be here to stand behind them too.

Jon, Eileena....send her here...stick her on the same plane as Anaconda and his son, and I will collect her in Brisbane.

Give me 3 months with her....if he is as awesome as she wishes he was...he'd get his act together and fly out here to rescue her...

...and we all know that won't happen...

Seriously, stick her on a plane a few thousand kilometres from this bloke and see what happens.

He'll be dust in a month.

Its really not a bad idea, a new country and life style could help you see the world from a different side, also if she liked it there are heaps of job opportunities hre at the moment, we cannot get enough workers in Darwin. If she liked it she could apply for a work visa.. and flights are really cheap at the moment. We would welcome her as well.

I have a 21 year old daughter and 19 year old son, if she needs a fe friends.

Thanks ladies....

Anaconda would have to knock her out to get her on the plane. It was hard enough to get her to fly to Idaho, but to have her flying over water would scare the crap out of her.

I agree with Eileen that it would be damn near impossible to get her on the plane.


On the other hand, its a great idea.

Thats a shame its really neat to see another country, she would have a blast..