What would you do if you were told that you are disabled and told not to work and apply for Social Security?

You are told that the process may take more than a year. You have nowhere to turn to but back to the bosom of your family because you have no way to support yourself.

HOWEVER, said family has told you that they have room and will help, but they don't want you there. They don't like you as a person and wished you wouldn't even visit.

How would you deal? Would you go back to work against medical advice just to avoid being around people who hate you?

I think I would rather go back to work against medical advice and tell my family where to get off..

I guess it would depend on how you are disabled, if you feel that you can work and you have a job that pays decent then I would work. You might fall back on your family for a short time (month at the most) until you get back on your feet with your finances so you can afford your own place again. Good Luck

wow. i hope this is a hypothetical. sad to hear a family so torn apart and i hope that someone here can offer encouraging advice.

^this...I can't imagine my family saying anything of the sort you mentioned!

Unfortunately, it is not hypothetical. Honestly, when you hear it from the big brother you always felt closest to, you wish you didn't exist because then it wouldn't be real.

Things is my condition is viral, makes me tired, the drugs drain me constantly, and flare ups are periodic and unpredictable. Each time I am in a hospital for up to 5 days at a time. The doctors say I can look forward to this roughly 6 times a year.

I can do temp work, but no one is going to hire permanent someone who can't give notice when they have to rush to the hospital at random times and then miss over a month's time each year.

I don't know what to do.

So sorry to hear of this,family can be so cruel!
I can relate with what you are going through .The plus with not being able to work without flair up.Makes things so hard.
I was hurt at work,that is the only good things about it.They have to put up with me.So I still have a job.
Do you have a friend you can count on??I would stay away from family if you can.
Good Luck and God Bless!

Well I can not imagine them actually offering you help if they really hated you. . . that part doesnt sound right. I would apply for the disability asap if you have to wait so long for it. and try and work under the table in the meantime somewhere or find a job where your disability will not be affected. Unless you are deaf, blind and unable to walk there must be something you can do. .I see mentally challenged waiting tables at claim jumper once a month. . and working at wendy's.

Make sure the you are not misinterpreting your families love for you. If they can't stand you, but want to help....perhaps they can rent you a room at another house. They can help by paying your rent.

I have actually been with a lot of disabled people who still live normal lives. Some even had more of a life than I did. I met a man with no arms and shriveled legs who painted the most beautiful works of art that I've ever seen. I've seen a woman who has no arms and hands, who learned to pilot a plane. Given that a change of this magnitude would unsettle anyone, what I'm trying to say is that it is still manageable. Times have changed, and disabled people have a lot of opportunities and rights now than before.

As for the family, I cannot judge their decision based on a sentence or two. It may be that they're trying to make you more independent or strong. Maybe they don't want you to just shrivel up in a corner, doing a horizontal move to self pity. They did offer some support, that in itself is something. People love in different ways and sometimes show it in ways we cannot comprehend. If you truly want to understand, then talk to them about it. If you really think they hate you, ask them why and be prepared to listen to what they say. Sometimes, we think we're not doing anything wrong and fail to see the hurt we actually inflict on people closest to us, because we take the connection for granted. It's like assuming they should understand us and accept us for who we are because we're family. What we forget is that they are people who can also get hurt with a seemingly innocent remark.

Bottom line, your attitude will determine what happens to you. Do you want to just sit in a corner accepting disability checks? Or do you want to live a more challenging, yet fulfilling life? It's still your choice.

Hate is a strong word. I would say they love me because I am family, but they dislike the person I am. It is very different from them.

I'm not racist, not homophobic and I don't like the being around that behavior either. I tolerate it from them because I do love my family. I don't smoke or drink and I tend to mind my own business. I don't get so bored I make up drama and bull-pocky for entertainment.

Most of all I HATE LIARS. They have a tendency to exaggerate and talk on people's backs, so I go to the actual person and confront the other with the truth. Then they back-track like a crawfish heading for the boiling pot. They apologize and say they 'didn't mean it like that'.

They make up and everything is fine. We all love each other again. Then, a day later, they both look at me like I am the enemy for stirring up trouble.

It's like being backhanded by Moe (3 Stooges). You think its over, but the other side of the hand is swinging back and then it hits on the top of your head too.

SICK, STRANGE, SCARY

Sorry, i was just going off your statement. 2nd to last word of your original Post

I am so sorry that you are in this sad and difficult situation. The thing is the first question when applying for SSD (social security disability) is "when did you become unable to work" so if you are working you can't get it. I suggest your local department of Health and Human Services and a good lawyer. It is not impossible to get SSD on the first try but almost and a attorney who specializes in SS is your best bet.

I wish you all the best and hope you find the help and answers you need.

perhaps you have a creative passion of some sort that you could indulge in and perhaps make money off of it?

i know its the idea of being a starving artist...but it doesn't qualify as work, its often therapeutic

you can do it entirely on your time..and you'd be surprised how well you could actually do if you get the exposure...there are options available though they vary from place to place as far as living arrangements...its almost never easy... but you strike me as someone with the personal strength to overcome these hardships if you want to...

As long as I'm not putting myself or others in danger, I see no reason not to work so, I guess it would depend on the situation. If I had family like that, I wouldn't have anything to do with them. I can sleep in my car, or at the Y for a night or two, maybe couch surf for a little bit, but I'd find a way to get by.