A work situation made me think about a book I'd read long ago in which the author shot down the idea that failure to maintain eye contact means a person is being dishonest. Ask someone a question and watch how they access information to reply:

People who look up to either the right or left are probably visualizing their answer.

If they look right or left to their ears, they are probably recalling sound information.

If they look down to the left, they are accessing their feelings.

If they look down to their right, they are having internal dialogue.

Generally...if you look to the left, you are remembering information. If you look to the right, you are constructing information.

Of course, some people are just too shy to look another person in the eye without discomfort.

Interesting stuff. What do you think? Can you look me in the eye?







("How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" by Nicholas Boothman)

I had read that long ago too. I think it was in some course work. Thanks for the reminder!

Ask me anything, I will look you in the eye and tell you whatever you want to hear!

What big eyes you have

It is sort of a pet peeve of mine...When I'm talking to someone I do expect them to be able make eye contact. It is something I don't have a problem with doing myself.

Had a guy that use to work with me and he would always look down at the ground when walking or when talking to anyone. Come to find out the reason he did it was he had one eye that was clouded with cataracts and he was embarrassed by it. Due to it made one eye look whitish. Well he had the surgery to fix it but looked down for so long it was hard for him to break the habit..

Of course after I explained to him I had never paid attention to the way his eye looked and he needed to get past that. By the time he left the company I must say it felt like a accomplishment that I keep on him. Reassuring him it was not that noticeable and that he would get acknowledge more at work if he made eye contact with others...

I actually do have a hard time maintaining eye contact...which I always worry will offend.

Up and to the right is a lie.....everytime.

Actually it did not offend me it just makes me wonder when they don't at all...I mean if they make eye contact at least once in a while I don't think anything about it..

When the owner of the company bought a bunch of equipment from another company he also hired several of their employees they were fixing to lay off.

Well hell ya know me I like to talk and he would always look at the floor and never looked up. So I started jacking with him and told him boy your gonna learn to look up or I will not leave ya alone till you do.. When he finally got the nerve up he actually told me about his eye and that he felt everyone was always looking at it... I really felt for the guy....


There are many that have a problem meeting eye contact and it has not a darn thing to do with they are shifty or un trust worthy as some think. Lot of times it is a deeper issue and even some that stems from child hood. It is something that can not be corrected over night it takes time.

that depends on the person (and where they are looking...)that some times, much like me it means that someone is shy, and could occasionally mean the person has a low self esteem. I often, when meeting someone new have my eyes drift to the floor because I am nervous. Now sometimes it does mean they are lying. But I could look at someone new and tell them I had long hair (or had a full head of it) at one time...(which I did...) and now catch my eyes going to the floor.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who seemed to be looking at one of your ears? What's that all about? It's really disconcerting.

well -my ex would look me in the eyes and lie...every time...


some people just have lying mastered

I just stare at her boobs

There are cultures like in Asia that it is considered disrespectful to look someone in the eyes while talking to them so keep that in mind also...

When I was teaching in an elementary school, this was a critical thing to know about Native American children, as well.

I asked a friend of mine, married and divorced 3 times, what color their eyes were. He asked his daughter. I'm thinking this is a clue as to the level of intimacy in his marriages.

NIGHTMARE!!

I'm not an eye contact person. The eyes usually tell me too much about the person and I'd rather believe whatever it is they are telling me :)

i prefer eye contact, but to be honest, I think its mostly cultural as some cultures consider it disrespectful to make eye contact


as far as which direction I look when Im thinking, I dont give it much credence because I know for a fact that I can look to either side when Im thinking, no deception involved

Last time I looked a Possum in the eye, it bared all fifty teeth and hissed at me. It then pretended to be dead and farted.

I look everyone in the eye at work, but when i am meeting new people if i get shy, then yep[ i tend to let my hair fall over my face, and hide my eyes and half my face.