Hey
still new at this,
So asking all a few questions hopefully Ya all can kick in your 2 cents.

We are free to post what we deem apropriate and feel our profile should be, But I read alot of ;
No players, No head games, No liars, No cheats.
Is this all not self explanitory, does anybody actually want any of that?
I have looked at sooo many possibly interesting people, and have troubles reaching out, cause I am none of those things but yet think that I would be starting a frienship with someone who is still angered and hurt, and already have a strike against me because I am male and you don't even know me yet. Am I being too soft on this? Am I wrong?
Guessing most of us have been hurt at some point, so even though there is no right or wrongs with your profile, Are we not all looking for positives? Glass half full?


(AND IF YOU HAVE ANY OF THIS IN YOUR PROFILE I APOLOGISE IT IS NOT A PERSONAL DIG. EACH TO THERE OWN.)

I always avoid contacting guys who put "No drama, bs, cheaters, liar, etc.." on their profile. It shows they have insecurities still or maybe they are still bitter about a past relationship.

Ditto....

It surprises me that so many people put that stuff in their profiles. It's basically the same as saying "I've really been burned and I don't want that to happen again."

OK, but if someone out there is reading this, and they just happen to be a game-player/liar/user/etc., do you really think they're going to say "Oh well, I better not contact her because she doesn't want a game-player."

I don't think it works that way.

Plus, using that terminology indicates you've already fallen for the game-player/liar/user/etc. at least once (and probably more than that). You're basically INVITING someone to try it again. Possible easy mark, so to speak....

Profiles can tell a lot about a person. Yes, I stay away from profiles that list a lot of "I don't want this or that". I also steer clear of profiles that list sex acts under the "Interests" and/or use sexual innuendos in their screen name.

I'd like to see a profile that says:

"I love liars and cheats! Being lied to and cheated on really revs my engine!"

Absolutely repulsed by the negative.
It is not just you.

For me, when I was single, it was about stating the obvious to people who are stuck on stupid. Except I usually added a bit more detail. ie..No recovering alcoholics, drug addicts,etc. Its unfortunate in todays society that we should have to put forth such negativity. But when or if you have bottom feeders, married men, alcoholics come after you with their con artist ways. You have to try and let them know. It isn't going to work with me. Been there, done that.

There is an option here you kids aint acknowledging...

Good liars
Good cheats

If you never catch them cause they are good at what they do then them being cheating liars is no big deal. What you dont know wont hurt you. It is only when you find out that you get booty hurt.

Yeah, the negativity really drags me down and after the decade I have spent learning how NOT to wear my heart on my sleeve due to really negative people in my life I still can't wear the negativity around in place of my heart, nor do I understand how others do it!

I say be what you wanna attract and don't waste your sweet time with people that will drag you down just because they can. I think if someone is looking to move forward, then they should put the past behind them first, but I also learned that lesson the hard way!

Good Luck weeding through the negative nellies!

Actually the profiles where they go on and on about what they want and will not take any less is just as much as a turn off to me......

One would think it would be common sense, but look at how much common sense has disappeared.

I do list my wants and don't wants to save time. Though in all honesty, it's still not stopping those who don't actually read.

So true!

It don't bother me when i see that on someones profile. Cause everyone that comes out of a relationship brings baggage with them. Good or bad. And I believe that cheaters can learn to not be cheaters, and liars can change to tell the truth. I am not here to throw stones. I to have lied, i to have cheated, And I do NOT live in a glass house. But I have changed. And i have been cheated on. I can't let my past inturrupt my future. And I have a great man that i told all my faults too, and guess what? He still wants me and loves me. And I never wanna hurt his beautiful heart!

and I thought I was the only person on earth that still believed people can change! I know most people don't, but can't give up on those that try. The ex hubby & I married young, we were both pretty wild and when life "happened" we both made mistakes that led to distrust and bitterness! Life then forced us to walk a mile in each others shoes and we have both changed and learned to appreciate the love we share and not take it for granted. He lied & I cheated, but neither one of us can change what happened so what we do from here on is the only thing that matters!!!

Ok, but I havent looked at your profile, but did you ask that none of the above traits need not contact you?(when you were single?) If you did not list it on your profile and in our first few emails painted that picture I still absolutely would want to get to know you, but we haven't even gotten that far. I understand someone looking for specifics (never married, no kids, non smoking), but no lying cheating bs?
Don't get me wrong you are a straitshooter and r A.O.K. and he's lucky to have ya, we all have a story agreed; would you pick up a book that has a front cover that says you must make 100k a year, drive a Ferrari & Own a Yatch;
Or you need not purchase?

I tend to stay away from the no games/no drama guys, as they seem to have the most of both.

I can't find it but there was recently a very good thread started by Lexfonteyne that you might find very helpful/fun/useful...maybe someone can direct you to it.

Come on Minglers, I went back a few pages but it alluded me...

Thanks
If it comes to you or anyone pass er on :)

its not such a bother, unless it is the majority of the profile

Im a fan of balance, so if a person includes a reasonable amount of turn offs AND turn ons just to let others know where they may or may not be compatible its fine with me


it just tells me these are things that they pay particular attention to but if none of it describes me , it doesnt bother me


if someone was thinking about doing all those thing or any of those things though, that disclaimer might turn them away from even TRYING and wasting time