i need you so badly, it hurts.."


...wait till you get me...

Looking for a good woman. (big boobs).."


....sounds like a mommy problem to me.

looking for the diamond in the rough..

...how about a lump of coal?

I am a honest guy and only want to date one on one."


...I'm not sure I know what that means

...as apposed to two on one? (But that also sound interesting.)

Seeking PhilosophicallyPhunnyPhemale"


...that's Phabulous.

"I am not sure how long to make this to be quite honest with you. It seems that if a profile is too long then who has the time to read a novel. "



...I don't.

are you ready for the country.."

...I'm not slopping those hogs.

I am what I am and that's all that I am."


...Hi, my name is Olive Oil.

"Im a firm believer in country music"


I didn't realize there was any doubt that it existed. I'm sure I hear it in every dive bar in the state.

"My friends tell me that Im funny, and a very caring person. My friends mean alot to me."


Of course they do. They tell you you're funny and caring.

"I'm a strong minded, independent, self-sufficient, proud mother of two children in recovery."



Not sure how proud I'd be of that.

Yeh, who is in recovery and recovery from what?

"i would sleep with kenney chesney in a heartbeat!!!!!! "


I think we're going to have to word the vows very carefully.....

"keens jeans tee shirt trails dirt waves beer campfires laughter heels silk perfume lipstick candlelight romance red wine tease soft kisses par bogey dbl bogey laughter competition winner loser.payouts wind loud engines skinny jeans boots tanktops sunlight moonlight leather helmets buzzed loud music dancing micro brews bikinis flipflops ginger melon lemonade sails fish bbq"


I'm not sure what this all means, but I think it moves you to the top of the search engine for men looking for women wearing flip flops and skinny jeans.

"I know who I am, do you? "



I think the whole premise here is based on me not knowing who you are.

"I'll talk about my hobbies, I promise. I just need a little more time to complete my profile. This is my first time on any sort of dating site, so I ask for your patience. Thank you!"


Apparently there's no real need to talk about your hobbies if you post a suggestive picture.

"I'm a drink my beer and drop the peanut shells on the floor kind of girl."



That's cute at the ballpark, but it's going to get irritating if I have to vacuum every time you come over.

"im 36 single brownish hair like dirt bikes"


How much like a dirt bike could it be?

"Hello,I am going to make this brief until we meet again"


Again? This is like the opposite of deja vu.

"Face the Sunshine and the Shadows Shall Fall Behind You" That is what I live by each day!! "


You must have like the most uneven tan ever.