Topic: Marriage.......WHY??????
no photo
Sun 12/05/10 09:47 AM
I think a lot of it what forms people's perspectives is their personal experiences.

I was very lucky. I was married for 31 years and very happy. In-laws were never a problem and have always looked on me as their daughter. Well, they still do. To me, it was like having an extended family.

But I do realise we were lucky to have what we did, and understand why others are scared to make that kind of commitment again.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 12/05/10 10:01 AM
I got married once it was in hopes for that white picket fence with kids playing in the yard and living happily ever after....

With one swoop it all was destroyed..........but.......I did come out of it with two loving kids... the house went but I was able to buy me another one... and make it a home...


As far as marriage it is truly another bond between two people with the hopes that bond will not break..

What most do not realize is that bond is not always forever..... so they should enjoy the time they do have...

Would I marry again sure if the right one came along... marriage does make most work a bit harder at making it work where just living together at times they know they always have that easy option to walk away and feel they don't have to explain it to anyone.... with marriage they try harder for they don't want it to fail..

Is marriage necessary? At my age I don't feel that it is a must anymore I have my kids can't have anymore but....I would do it again if I found someone that I felt that way with again.whoa

Otherwise I kind of like the he lives at his place and I live at mine and we both meet up at either place.:thumbsup:


Goofball73's photo
Sun 12/05/10 10:22 AM
I know that, when I was in my 20's, and my friends were getting married, the main reason they decided to do it was because it was "The Next Step". I never understood why a reason like that would warrant two people to marry. And, as it stands, the majority of those who got married then are now divorced.

I believe people don't truly know what love is anymore. They think they do, but as the statsitcs show, they don't. Love isn't just about great sex. And a marriage can't be based on that either. Don't get me wrong. Sex is important, and if it waivers then it usually leads to adultery from one of the spouses. Love, however, is about something more. It's this feeling that cannot be explained. That sounds corny, but in all honesty, it is true. We all want that feeling, even if we say we don't, I believe all of us want to find that someone who will love us like we believe we should be loved. And love them back in that same very way.

True. You don't have to be married to be in love. To me, marriage is a symbol of the devotion, the committment...a public display of your affection to this one person that he or she is the one person you want to be with....until death do you part. Faith plays a part in why most people do get married. Some even look at the tax breaks of it. But for me, I would only marry for that one person who I could look at and honestly say to myself....she is the one and I want no other.

Anyway, enough mushy stuff. Bring on the sluts! laugh

no photo
Sun 12/05/10 10:28 AM
I don't think the love for another is less strong whether you are married or not. I know for myself that I would expect someone to commit to me.

I was deeply in love with someone who was to marry me several times and backed out. He is still attempting to get back with me, but I know that he will always leave again. If we had gotten married he wouldn't have been able to leave just like that. Once married you are actively involved in trying to make it work, because leaving isn't that easy.

If I just want to have a sometime boyfriend or partner, there's no need to be married. If I want to feel secure in the forever, no matter what happens, I expect to have the passion to get married and not be fearful of the risk involved. For me personally, the paper signifies the intention of a permanent union.

newarkjw's photo
Sun 12/05/10 10:59 AM
Marriage is a wonderful institution. If you like institutions.......smokin

eklectek's photo
Sun 12/05/10 11:06 AM
Hmm...Im not too sure...If I met the right woman, I'm sure I'd marry her.

krupa's photo
Sun 12/05/10 11:55 AM


yes u do see the negatives & always have for as long as I have known u on here. my question is, if u r so certain, why do u bother asking us to show u the positives?

unless you open to them u will never experience them anyway, Krupa

I really like u so that is my "it's my turn to be a real friend" dose of truth - even if I'm just a cyber friend


Its all good Baby! I am who I am because I do take the time to try to see through other perspectives than the one I got. Everyonce in a while, I even learn something that I try to apply to my own life.

Just because I may never end up being a ski jumping Sumo wrestler, doesnt mean that I am not curious about what made them choose that way of life and wonder where they get thier chick magnet underwear..........(believe me....I DO want to be one!)




tanyaann's photo
Sun 12/05/10 12:04 PM

marriage doesn't do those things krupa, people do. all those things happen, or not, whether you are married or not.

being in a committed relationship, unmarried, doesn't keep someone faithful or more enamorous, it is just makes it easier to walk away. it is the original intent of those involved, married or not, that makes it work. over years, people have led to the destruction of the relationship in general. becoming greedy and self-serving and often fearful of, in their mind, a lonely existance. too many people settle, marry as the 'thing to do' and look at it as the vehicle to forever love. there are destructive forces that come in to any relationship, some can be worked through, others not.

marriage is not for the weak of heart, and society has taken a once sacred oath and allowed us to speak, what seems now, mostly meaningless vows. it is the hearts intent that makes it work or not, one must truly know their self to know if it is something they can enter into with another. to find two like minded people these days seems to be a daunting task.

marriage can be a beautiful thing, a committment of that level can be powerful and in its purest intent, forever. it ONLY becomes negative when love does not prevail. its up to the the two to make that happen.



:thumbsup: I agree. Very well said, bastet126.

Seakolony's photo
Sun 12/05/10 12:08 PM
The honeymoon (oh yeah) makes it all worthwhile.......ummmmmm...where am I again oh yeah public forum subject? Nevermind carry on

no photo
Sun 12/05/10 12:50 PM

Everyone will have an opinion on this one....

Everyones opinion will be true (for themselves)

I am curious about individual perspectives here.

Personally, NEVER! I see nothing but negatives reguarding the strangle hold of marriage. It does not enforce loyalty. It kills sex drives. The majority of the time it leads to the legal headaches of divorce (often leaving kids with biased and limited information available on what actually happened). It leads to criminal taxation rates against the secondary income. It leaves you socially obligated to deal with in-laws on all major holidays hand half your weekends off (and all the drama those freaks bring with them).

Rarely, it will bring in a person who you really can grow to love but it aint often. (my ex bro-in-law is a great guy and I still treat him like a loved brother)

Someone wing some positives out here cause I need to understand why so many women are hung up on the concept that marriage is the end goal of even forming a relationship.

Cause honestly....unless I get pregnant...I ain't getting married.


Having tried it once, I can't see myself ever doing that again.

And I will be the first to acknowledge that it wasn't "marriage," per se, that was at fault -- it was my own chronic inability to find a partner who can maintain my interest for more than a few months at a time -- the "Achilles' Heel," as it were, that ends up scuttling all of my relationships.

Be that as it may, I see no practical reasons to be married. People say "It's better for the kids" but I won't be having any, so that's a non-issue.

I'd prefer not to have to throw away half of my future book earnings on a disgruntled ex-wife.


eileena9's photo
Sun 12/05/10 12:57 PM
marriage doesn't do those things krupa, people do. all those things happen, or not, whether you are married or not.

being in a committed relationship, unmarried, doesn't keep someone faithful or more enamorous, it is just makes it easier to walk away. it is the original intent of those involved, married or not, that makes it work. over years, people have led to the destruction of the relationship in general. becoming greedy and self-serving and often fearful of, in their mind, a lonely existance. too many people settle, marry as the 'thing to do' and look at it as the vehicle to forever love. there are destructive forces that come in to any relationship, some can be worked through, others not.

marriage is not for the weak of heart, and society has taken a once sacred oath and allowed us to speak, what seems now, mostly meaningless vows. it is the hearts intent that makes it work or not, one must truly know their self to know if it is something they can enter into with another. to find two like minded people these days seems to be a daunting task.

marriage can be a beautiful thing, a committment of that level can be powerful and in its purest intent, forever. it ONLY becomes negative when love does not prevail. its up to the the two to make that happen.




I know that, when I was in my 20's, and my friends were getting married, the main reason they decided to do it was because it was "The Next Step". I never understood why a reason like that would warrant two people to marry. And, as it stands, the majority of those who got married then are now divorced.

I believe people don't truly know what love is anymore. They think they do, but as the statsitcs show, they don't. Love isn't just about great sex. And a marriage can't be based on that either. Don't get me wrong. Sex is important, and if it waivers then it usually leads to adultery from one of the spouses. Love, however, is about something more. It's this feeling that cannot be explained. That sounds corny, but in all honesty, it is true. We all want that feeling, even if we say we don't, I believe all of us want to find that someone who will love us like we believe we should be loved. And love them back in that same very way.

True. You don't have to be married to be in love. To me, marriage is a symbol of the devotion, the committment...a public display of your affection to this one person that he or she is the one person you want to be with....until death do you part. Faith plays a part in why most people do get married. Some even look at the tax breaks of it. But for me, I would only marry for that one person who I could look at and honestly say to myself....she is the one and I want no other.

Anyway, enough mushy stuff. Bring on the sluts! laugh



I agree with bastet and goof....(I just don't want the sluts....I have Jon..devil devil )

msharmony's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:03 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sun 12/05/10 01:05 PM
I chose marriage over shacking up in order to

Invite God to bless our union
unite our families and friends
express our love and commitment to family and friends

its kind of, too me, the difference between a verbal agreement and a written contract

some people dont require the legality or accountability of a written contract, and some do


some people dont require God, or tradition, or ceremony to validate and solidify a commitment and some do

I am the latter,,,

PATSFAN's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:06 PM
Marriage has a high failure rate, much like the lottery your chances of winning are slim yet people do it anyway.

no photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:13 PM

Marriage has a high failure rate, much like the lottery your chances of winning are slim yet people do it anyway.


Of course, the lottery has never thrown a big old blue desk phone at me, either. Lottery 1, marriage 0.


stefy's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:34 PM
I was married and i dont regret it. I learned a lot from it.
I would do it again.
I think im just romantic.:heart:

PATSFAN's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:35 PM


Marriage has a high failure rate, much like the lottery your chances of winning are slim yet people do it anyway.


Of course, the lottery has never thrown a big old blue desk phone at me, either. Lottery 1, marriage 0.





I've had no luck with either onelaugh

krupa's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:37 PM

I was married and i dont regret it. I learned a lot from it.
I would do it again.
I think im just romantic.:heart:


I am romantical too! I love letting a woman get me drunk to have her way with me!

msharmony's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:37 PM

Marriage has a high failure rate, much like the lottery your chances of winning are slim yet people do it anyway.


come on now, about one in two marriages succeed

as opposed to one in hundreds of millions of lotto tickets which win,,,,


the marital odds are much more reasonable and become more successful when people educate themself and make better incomes


failing marriages are more a result of a failing culture than of the marriage institution itself

msharmony's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:38 PM

I was married and i dont regret it. I learned a lot from it.
I would do it again.
I think im just romantic.:heart:




good on you, drinker drinker


I dont regret my first marriage at all,

my second one, I couldnt have been dumber if I had been drunk, should have never happened

stefy's photo
Sun 12/05/10 01:43 PM


I was married and i dont regret it. I learned a lot from it.
I would do it again.
I think im just romantic.:heart:


I am romantical too! I love letting a woman get me drunk to have her way with me!

haha So if i wanted to have my way with u i would have to get u drunk first?