I am going through a real tough time. For the last year or so, I've been dating someone. We met on an online website. The tough part of it was that I had expected that he was messin' around with other women on the website; but, he'd told me that he wasn't. I wanted to believe what he said, even though deep down, I didn't.

I got my answer and it was as I'd expected. He'd been seeing other women. I was and am totally crushed. I fell in love with the man. It was one of those relationships that every little girl dreams of being in when we grow up. He was my knight in shining armor. Handsome; very well built; a Chip 'n Dale dancer; body builder; blond; tanned....

He touched my soul and I was glowing. He made me smile. I thought of him and my eyes sparkled; my body tingled in all the right places. My heart ached. The attraction was instant. I love him deeply and like I've never loved anyone.

Honestly, this has floored me. It's torn me apart. I've never hurt this bad before. I wake up aching; fall asleep aching. There's day when I just want the pain to stop; but, it doesn't. So? How do I get past this? When will the hurt stop? There's nights that I wish I'd just fall asleep and not wake up. It hurts that bad.

Have you ever had someone touch your soul?

There's so many opportunities online; so much temptation. I'm not sure love can be found online. Can it? Have you found love online? Did it last? If it didn't? Why'd things end?

the first step you should take is to stop talking about him as though he truly was/is all of those things that you describe and come to terms with the facts. the fact is, that he is a fraud and you are better off finding out now, rather than later.

Infidelity has nothing to do with computers. There are opportunities online or offline. It is the individual and their commitment that
matters.

He obviously was not worthy and there were obviously problems with
the relationship. So, lean on your friends and let him go and focus
your attention and energy on someone who will treat you right and
respect your love.

It doesn't matter if you meet online or not. So meet new people online
or offline as you like.

met my husband right here on mingle.. been married about a year now.. and so far so good.. :)sorry to say.. the problem isnt HOW you met but WHO!.. best of luck for the future..

this

Am so saddened to read about your pain. One guy was seriously trying to reel me in, hard and furious. 5 messages to my one, poems and all the mess. When told him he was moving way too fast for me (3 days and my dog was ours) and a remark that literally had to explain was kidding about turned around that I was the culprit and he posted a long thread about me, how I lied , and all this other stuff which was so far out there that I couldn't even respond (thankfully the whole message was yanked but then maybe not), just shake my head and tell myself this internet thing is really something you have to watch out for, because you cannot look the person in the eye, nor see their mannerisms, or catch on much quicker that perhaps there was something going on with this person that if met on the outside world, would have picked up on almost immediately.
That being said, I do want to say that, for me, as soon as my little psychy thing starts telling me something is not quite right, to listen to it immediately, even if I have no idea why, because I will soon. Do NOT ignore that inner nudge. You even, at the time, knew you were right, but we really like to fool ourselves at times.
Thats all I can offer, but nay, on the internet thing, there is NO way you can grasp a person without being in the same room with them soon after you meet. There are a few lucky ones on here, but I'll wager it's not the norm and more like 2% compared to all the bad experiences people have had and talked about. Hope you heal fast .

So true...

I was where you are now sexiluvingirl. It took a while but I did get over it. I have a new heartbreak but not as deep.

Keep busy... you did dodge a bullet with this guy. He will cause you much pain if you ever go back to him.

Best of luck to you.

Every person on line or in real life has an agenda. It is up to you to see if your agenda meshes or clashes with the other person. As soon as you find out that the other person is...lying, using you or cheating...be thankfull that you found out before you moved on to the next stage and got married to the slime ball.

As to how soon you get over this, it depends on how soon your mind can convince your heart you are better off with out that heartache down the road and you are now free to find the real one for you. Every night when you use to cry to sleep thinking of how your heart is breaking, think of all the fun wonderful things you can now do for just you. And realise that you deserve better than that.

They will lie, cheat and con their way into your heart. The real one for you will go out of his way to act and prove his words are real. Not just give lip service.

Hang in there. You will survive this and be stronger for the next time.

And some people are just manipulative Choads!

Predators lurk in the dark corners you don't expect to see them and they hunt EVERYWHERE. Sometimes you just got to use more caution than anything else!

That you for the support. Sometimes it's just comforting to know that you're not the only one that hurts.

This is true. Thank you. Coming to terms with it is half the battle.

I think the internet makes it more accessible to cheat. But, I would agree on focusing on things that matter. I've leaned on some special friends. Doesn't matter how old we get, it still hurts. Had actually forgotten that I wrote this last night until I came to sign on Mingle. Had a tough night. (And, NO, I wasn't drunk!) lol

Such a great story for you! Good luck!

True on convincing my heart. If our minds only had control over our hearts. Words of wisdom, that you wrote here. The lies are really devastated me.

Beware of wolves in sheeps clothing....

I'm sorry you had to go through something like this, but perhaps a clue lies in that description of him and the effect he had on you.

This doesn't sound like 'love' ... it sounds like 'infatuation'. It's normal - but it's not love ... and the rose-colored glasses that come in the box with it alter the ability to perceive properly what the reality of a given situation really is. 'Love' develops over time - the irony is that it can't develop without that initial infatuation. Keeping one in check while letting the other grow is a tricky balancing act.

I've gone thru what you describe, but not to the same degree. I can attribute part of my 'good fortune' there to being innately skeptical. I may experience the 'infatuation' part now, but I don't automatically extend my trust and thereby raise my hopes that 'this is the one'. Sorry, that only comes with time.

You'll recover from this ... we all do ... but please - don't let the 'infatuation' part leave you so open to hurt. Start getting a bit more skeptical and make 'em EARN the right to be trusted ... that's just 'real-world'. For now, be happy you found this out BEFORE it went any further and you got hurt more deeply.

I've been mashed up and stomped more than once online....it isn't the medium ...

You'll get over it when you give up the attachment to your dream about how it was or your attraction to how it could have been.... and accept the reality of what it was. Because your dream wasn't accurate and that's the part that sucks!

It is our 'attachment' that causes the pain. It is our 'expectation' that causes the pain. Give up expectation and you give up pain.

You and he were not in the same relationship....

Sorry for your pain...wish you well

Yep!

You're knight in shining armor turned out to be an a**hole in tin foil.

Don't remember how awesome he SEEMED, he wasn't really all that awesome if he saw other women, now is he?