Hi Asa! Welcome back!!

Nope you got it wrong, it's not what I'm going after, but what is available.

Sure..there are women out who aren't..but no matter how anyone tries to deny it..at least 80% of the women today have their priorities based on money and not love, when it comes to relationships. See, I'm not saying a 100% so I'm not generalizing. And then you read about the crazy amount of divorces going on like it's some sort of an unexplained phenomena, and yet no one looks at the real causes. And that's starts out from not having the priorities straight and it isn't love they got together but it was more like a financial security. Eventually it catches on later and then comes all the crying and rage, but give it a year and she is out there again, looking for the same exact thing one more time and it's like a horrible habit.

And if anyone asks for proofs?

Here it is:

Show me a single guy on a dating site who is - today- making over 150,000 dollars a year. You can't find one, because they got no problems..for them, these places are not needed and looks like a big joke.

So what happens to the 20%? women who are actually looking for real love? They are out of luck most of the time, because people are just horrible when it comes to stereotyping.

So how do you change people minds and way of thinking? You really can't do a lot when it's just too much of it and not enough pressure.
Basically just "wait it out" and watch the next generation to grow up and most likely will have an entirely different idea about what they want and what is considered value and what isn't and so on. The previous generation will be the "lost generation", which had to endure the changes but were unable to transform and adjust to the current situation, save the ones who could.

I know, some people gonna read this and say WTF is this guy talking about, but that's ok.

How are you coming up with this 80%? So you are seeing the women in your age range passing you by because you don't have enough money. I am seeing the men in my age range pass me by because they want the ones your talking about. I get what your saying as far as getting together for the wrong reasons. I get that one more than you could ever know...why do you think I have been single for 11 years.
So basically for me, you...were just the screwed, shiit out of luck.
You because you don't make enough money to attract one of these women your age, they want the rich guys. Me, I'm not rich, young or beautiful so I get the horny 25 year olds or the drunk old cowboys.
And that's that...no matter our intentions, no matter what is in our hearts. We are in the 20%, so should we settle, get what we can while we can? I'm not buying it Ferenc...there is a fair amount of truth to what your saying. I still believe that most people want to experience love. Are you going to settle I'm not.
I'm holding out, I could never settle even if I wanted to and you shouldn't either. You paint a very dismal picture of my future..lol
You are right about the changes, I feel. Maybe the shifts in consciousness will benefit my future grandchildren, I won't be around. Well, lets keep a good thought for both of us then.

I can so see this....

Sheesh, Atlantis. It works the same for some of us too. The men I'm seeing either are chasing after the pretty girls at the bars, out for random f*cks, or are beyond just job-hunting and are happily and unremorsefully sitting on their ***** not working, not wanting to work, but want to kick back and drink beer, have the woman make the money, and then come home and cook and clean for them, while they get fat. That's not all that pleasant for us gals who want a man as an equal and not as another whiny kid.

I'm having those look me up, the over 65's, or the city type, who couldn't tell the back end from the front end of a horse. The ones who might be able to are hightailing it to the cities and towns in droves, except to weekend out in the country because they don't like it, except when it's convienent. They're just as quick for the money as those women you talk about.

Around here everyone's building 3000 sq ft homes, and paying 10,000 an acre. Fricking unreal! Greed apparently rules all, and those who really aren't, or would just be comfortable with the basics, are just chit-outta-luck.

And for those who actually believe in a relationship it's going to continue to be a long dry spell.

was it a decision?

was what a decision?

Originally no. But as maturity and the self-understanding of what one wants and feels like they deserve, then staying single became a decision.

Is it more giving up,or bagging it than a decision though. I choose at one time to be alone, it was a good decision and well worth it. I never made a conscious decision to be alone for 11 years. I never made a decision to stay 'single' this long. I never made the decision to 'remain single'

A conscious decision for me was to be alone rather than 'settle'.

Maybe I just 'lost' my confidence and 'game' after so long.

I am open-minded as to my marital and relationship status. I am easy to live with, so I don't mind my own company but if a man comes along who is great with me, for me & I for him - ya, I'd get involved - heck maybe even marry (don't hang by ur thumbs)

but I am not in a panic to wed where I'd settle - just open

I kinda agree with a lot of what u say atlantis, and I have my own spin on it.

Ya know those worn out threads about why girls always go for the bad guys and reject the nice guys? Well it has just occurred to me, that men do the same thing. I've been thrown over a few times - on here and IRL- for a real bad girl type -spread for anyone - bad language etc etc?

What gives? the guys just wanna get laid IMO - especially on here I think guys look elsewhere for women for relationships but on here look mainly to get laid - hook ups, camhos & such - it's seriously starting to look that way to me.

It works both ways....

Men (some) will complain women only want the guys with money or the bad boys..or the 'Brad Pitt' looking ones.

Women (some) will complain the men only want the young, beautiful,
or 'easy' as far as getting laid ones.

At the risk of offending someone (not my problem, being offended IS a choice) most are full of shiit when they speak of what it is their looking for anyway. All talk of wanting someone, nice, sweet, honest..bla, bla, bla. Then 'most' just keep going for the same 'type' they always have...and 90% of the time it is a physical attraction. While I agree there needs to be an attraction.. too many make that the most important thing. Then it falls apart again and they can place the blame on the other.

If people were to turn their thinking around that 80% of the attraction is on the heart and 20% on the physical they may actually find some happiness with someone.

I have had the opportunity, for lack of a better word...to date, shack up with and even marry once, physically gorgeous, fat wallet, and big bank account men. Now..give me a average guy with an average bank account and a compassionate, kind heart and it's amazing how fast he can become attractive to me.

For those who say I don't know, I do the same thing...I've spent 11 years alone turning down the offers without the kindness and compassionate hearts. I do get it, and am not 'swooned' by charm and money.

I haven't made any decisions yet. Jury is still out
on that one.

I'm so with you there, I've never had any money to throw around and never even pictured myself that way. I just want to find someone with a good work ethic and the maturity to be able to prioritize how the money we work so hard to earn should be spent. I never desired to be rich, but it would be nice not to have to struggle so hard because toys and tattoos are more important than doctor bills for instance. I guess I will be better off single for now, but I'm not giving up on men. I know there are good ones out there. My dad was out there once, my cousin found a really great guy, my best friend from high school is one of them but we just don't look at each other that way. Many of the guys on here are wonderful but too far away to be in a relationship with.
Atlantis, I'm so sorry that you've had experiences that have made you so leery of women, but don't give up. I know it's hard to find a place to meet the right person. I'm not much of a drinker and only meet drunks and womanizers in bars anyway so I'm still trying to figure out where to go to make a connection with a nice guy here in the midwest. Sounds like you are too close to the big city to find anyone without greed as a mindset. Just know that there are a lot of people out there just like us that are also hoping to find someone deserving and worthy of sharing a happy life. They don't know where to find us either, but if you keep a positive outlook it will happen. You're a good looking guy but it will make things harder for you if your cynicism is the first thing that great girl encounters.

Semantics aside, I see it more as genuinely giving up -- in the sense that, yes, it's clear there are people out there who are interested in me, but only "me" in terms of who they would try to turn me into.

But, somehow, I can't see that "me" as being "me" at all, so I choose not to deal with those people.



That's a good way to phrase it. I never actively chose to be single -- it just turned out that there were no other options that didn't involve me becoming a completely different person.

i think everyone is superficial to a degree... we all want what we want, but as the years wear on, the standards get lower... sure, it would be fun to have a 22 year old hard body, but then what? i want to date women my own age, and not have much to do with the 22 year olds...both men and women have the same thoughts, mostly complexes about if we are good enough, are they good enough, will they hurt me, yada yada yada... if you don't jump in the water you'll never swim, and swimming can be fun...i don't wanna get hurt, but it's gunna happen, because its life, and life can be unfair sometimes... take the good with the bad, it will all come.

What a refreshing attitude. Nice to see it still exists in the male species.

I don't know how many I have but no one is up to now touch my that thing which I want to touch it too, I don't why, First I taught I'm child but now I'm feeling its too early to do that, I'm just trying to find someone to remove my this.... ...but sometimes I feel Its good to be single now and up-to 30 for me...

I seem to have "rebound guy" tattooed on my forehead or something. The only women I seem to get attracted to me are already in relationships. Don't know why that is. I do know it's a hell of a lot less complicated just not even dealing with women. Too many out there that say they want someone who's open and honest and yet "play the field" behind your back.