You know, I guess we do make assumptions about
availability when we hook up with someone from
a dating/social site.

It would not occur to me to ask.
Thanks Buttons

He´s a dum azz........ move on gurl.......

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT........

that is my reasoning for asking i did not want to assume.. i have in the past assumed.. just from talking... started to become interested , then to find out they were in fact taken or dating someone that they really liked and wanted more than just dating that person they already were...

How sad it must be to enter into relationships with no trust. To me, trust is something that can be lost. I've gone into every relationship full well expecting it to be my last. I'd rather trust you first and have you prove me wrong. Sure it hurts when the trust is broken, but how many good ones slip by because someone is unwilling to take a chance because of fear?

The whole experience is supposed to lead towards a decision, "do I stay or go." But to reserve your faith in someone your are supposed to be even slightly interested in, well, your looking for faults that I guarentee you'll find. I'd rather place some blind faith in someone and look stupid for it later, and I'm sure I'll do it again.

Putting faith in the wrong people is how you grow in life. We see the places where our senses fail us and are wiser for it. To live life completely safe, how boring and mundane. I'd rather have a broken heart than a hollow chest any day.

once this guy asked me out for coffee... i found out he had a gf... i told him sure ill go meet him and his gf for coffee... hummm i never heard from him again

I think I'd of shown up with her. (No that's not true, I wouldn't have been asking you to coffee if I had a GF)

sure but if there is something you dont know... and you dont know if you dont communicate it how can this be called trust or dis- trust? is it just not a part of getting to know someone?

On this site I think it would be best to ask first? It seems there are a lot of people on here who aren't single but enjoy talking in the forums and talking to new people. (Me being one of them!) How pitiful is it that you can't rely on people to be honest in their profile though or during e-mail conversations? I state in my profile that I am currently living with someone so there is no miscommunications or hurt feelings later. The idea is to make friends and meet new people...not deceive.

i would of gone then..TRUSTING that he had nothing to hide.. and that he would bring his gf too lol.. I dont have an issue meeting people at all.. However if i saw him sitting there alone.. i would of turned around and left with no words..

Putting faith in the wrong people is how you get f@cked over in life


and Im not talking about an established relationship..... Im referring to when your meeting someone online and just getting a few facts straight where you mentioned you woould get offended if someone was to ask about your marital status when you clearly state divorced or never married or whatever........

Now I know Ill never have a chaaaaaaaaaaaaance.....

Getting to know someone in a relationship involves finding out the things you don't like about a person. I mean does anyone really think about the things that are shared in common? No, you just naturally enjoy those with each other. Now I'm not saying just bottle you mouth up through the whole relationship (unless of course you are a man, in which case your mouth is your worst enemy), a person needs to know who they are with, but that's part of the exploration that dating is.

What I'm saying is, if you go in expecting a lie at every corner, how can you possibly establish trust? You assume I'm lying about marriage, where does that stop? Does it ever? Are you going to assume that every time I'm a little late home in the evening that I'm cheating on you? What about when I hand you the flowers I picked up on my way home? Are those just because I did something wrong or because I think you're special?

If you are starting a relationship based on distrust, well, that's probably what you'll get in return. For it is what you give in a relationship that is returned to you (in theory). If I give you love and honesty, that's probably what I'll get. If I give you fear and distrust, that's what I'll receive, nay that's what I deserve.

Some people are wound way too tight. I get asked if im married or attached all the time. Doesn't bother me at all. In my opinion, if you ask someone if their married or attached, before, or after you meet them, and they get upset, forget them, and try again.

Roaming, it isn't a matter of not trusting you, but there are many snakes (male and female) who don't think twice about checking off "never married" and really are married....OR they check that because they aren't married BUT living with someone for the past five years and things are getting 'stale".

By asking the question is just making conversation and not that someone is un-trustworthy, just seeing if they are telling the truth.

(When I first joined this site, some man was talking to me for two months, swore up and down he was single. Then he disappeared for a while, when he came back on he sent me an email saying his wife had caught him and he had to get off the site...and that he was sorry for lying to me.)

I love you momma......(((((((E)))))))

even if they are here have put "divorced" or "single" or "never married" who am i to assume in the month i have been talking to them that someone else hasnt been dating them for the last 2 weeks? and that my "friend" is not liking that person and want it to go the next step further with them? because i ask that is mis trust? or is it respect for that person?

now to me if he told me no he wasnt then i questioned him again that would be distrust...

I love you too Baby-girl!!! {{{{{{P}}}}}}

And yes, Buttons asking twice might seem like distrust.

Ima tell like it is right now........

You meet someone fantastic online, you get to talking, to connecting, you bond you might even get all hot and horny with em too..... Then the meeting day comes.....(mind you, do not spend any money out of your pocket ) all of a sudden you discover that everything you thought you knew about this person was a lie.... You brush it off.....think about all the time you enjoyed his company and put his azz on the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT bus!!!! He ain´t worth your time, your heartache and most definetly not your tears......

and you move on......

nuff said......

I'm not sure I'd be offended, but I would definitely ask them to read my profile. I get tired of those who have to check up on everything. And I'd have to think hard about someone who assumes everyone is lying in their profile.

I've found out that those I tell to read my profile get more offended than anyone else. Especially after they've said they are just checking up because most people lie. I don't really see the need to get involved with someone who is so paranoid about everyone lying to them.