is a very negative woman. She moved in abourt a year ago, a couple of years older than me. We got to know each other through her mother, who lives there and i used to visit with because she was alone. During the last couple of months- everytime seeing her it's complaints about something. You name it, me, the weather, you, her mother, job, yada yada.
Last week... she went to get her hair done. Just as am walking out the door, running little late for work, she gets home and she's got a cute short haircut. I tell her so, she starts in 'well it's not what I wanted..." I just say to her "J...you are really being negative these days about alot of things". She says 'you're negative too' I'm like yes, I am sometimes but I try to catch it and see whats bugging me' She starts to get all huffy and My mistake of saying that without puting a better spin on it (like after remark- is anything wrong), tell her, 'I'm your friend, just trying to give you some insight to what been seeing'. It ended ackwardly, and I haven't seen her.
Today is my day off. At 9 am she's banging on my front door, just to say 'hi'. She knows i sleep in (usually) but was up. I could see she was disappointed she didn't wake me. I ignored little confrontational remarks and ended it in a good note.
How would you handle someone you see several times a week being so negative that it could bring you down if you let it? I want to say to her, J- you really need to learn how to be graceful about all you have' but don't want a all out war on my hands. Any advice?

I'd like to help but really don't know how I would handle it, other than just trying to avoid her..

I would always be busy and when I run in to her I would say "I'm sorry to hear that" or "that is awful" and then say I would love to chat but I am in the middle of something right now and then just walk away. This woman is not your friend and she is not going to listen to your advice so why take a chance of getting into a disagreement

Pretty much what deli said. Don't put any energy into it. Like a T-Rex can't see things that don't move, most people will just go away if you ignore them for long enough and don't give them any attention.

,,just flip the old biddy off..and tell her that her hair looks like crap..she won't be knocking at your door early in the morning again... ..i'm serious..

I wouldn't answer the door to someone that continued to annoy me

There isn't much you can do... it's good to help others, let them vent. At times that's all some need...if it's constant and she isn't wanting to feel better it's just time to smile, nod and walk away, other wise it's just a constant drain on you. She's sucking up your positive energy..

I work with a woman like that, truly bitter and wonders why nothing ever seems to go her way. I'll sympathize with her then I try to be kind and find nicer things to point out to her instead, but I always make a quick exit from her work area. Some people thrive on being miserable. You won't be able to change her perspective on life, so be nice when you have to interact with her, but don't think anything you can say will help.

Yes, started to realize what you stated. She just wants to complain.
Realized she pauses, me thinking shes waiting for a reply, yet saw that she isn't listening, more like festering in her thoughts. You are right also Lori (actually appreciate all your suggestions), it is a drain, I notice when am starting to get crabby- it may not be for a day or two but try to catch it. Also try to let the energy flow through me, sometimes it gets stopped by my own stuff You're right, best to avoid her. I just was wondering, if this was something that was going to continue until she feels justified.
I just don't understand why some people are sound asleep.

My friend I honestly love dealing with people like that. They make it too easy!!! If it were me....., and I were trying to sleep in, I'd answer the door Naked! If she knows It's your "sleep in day" then the consequences are something she needs to deal with!

She is jealous of U!!! U have the looks classy and grace she has probably always wanted, so it makes her bitter!!! Just smile and say "Isnt it a wonderful day!!"

If it were me, I'd have to tell her straight up that her life is miserable because she makes it that way! I would tell her if she wants to be my friend, I will not continue to listen to her whining. End of story. She can either face reality or go away. Her choice.

Pretty much what was said here. If others are negative all the time I tend to ignore them and stay as far away as possible....

Or if all else fails the old "flaming bag of dog poop" on the doorstep is good for a laugh

You know the old saying, misery loves company. She's not interested in your opinion or what you have to say, she just wants a sounding board and someone to say "Poor you". I don't coddle people like that, that just keeps them coming back for more. Be honest and just tell her if she doesn't like...whatever the complaint of the moment is...tell her to change it or deal with it. Generally though, they are not willing to change. It's like a rut, literally their way of living, but if you are less sympathetic and more direct with her, she will not be getting the response she needs and will move on to another victim.