I get panic attacks when my doll and I are seperated!!

A divorce decree
is no guarantee
that your heart is free.

When I see "separated" on a profile,
my first thought is that someone is
being honest. I admire this.
And as I am here for the forums, sure
I would be friends with them. Would
I want to date them? No problem, it
means they would S L O W the fook down.

I think it is all about intent.
And honesty.
Availability is a sneaky b*tch.

I would never let someone's status get in the way of friendship for sure.

And honesty is always a gem

Unfortunately I have a knack for finding guys who are "going through a divorce". They tend to not be too particularly forth coming as to what STAGE of the divorce they are in... ie they fail to mention it could be a LONG WHILE before they are actually divorced. One still actually lived with his wife (obviously I didn't know that at the time) Needless to say I have not had good experiences with guys who are "separated"

Edit: AND dating someone who is separated kinda makes you the rebound by default

Hummmmmm........welllllllllllll been there done that did not even get a damn t-shirt for doing it........I did date before my divorce papers were totally filed but had already went to a Lawyer to get them drawn up. Only reason I did not file the next day after asking my ex to leave is due to he begged me to wait at least 2 months.......As far as I was concerned I had tried for 2 years to fix what he has screwed up but he had no intentions on helping clean up his mess instead he choose to make a bigger mess of it.... My feelings for him the day I made that choice was to the point I was not willing to try anymore....

If the papers have at least been filed then to me that is a different situation. Even though the last one I met that had not done that I did back away only due to all the talked about was his ex. To me that tells ya they are not over them. Then it is time to back away....

But as it has been said just because of a piece of paper that does not mean that they are through with the ex.... It all depends on the person themselves....

And yes I did date a guy for many years that had not divorced he said it all had to do with his business and not wanting to loose a big chunk of it.......but then it does make it easy for some to go back to the ex as well.......

Myself it all depends on the situation.......not saying that I would try it again for if I ever dated someone that was not divorced or at least filing the paper work not sure that I would go there again. Once burnt it sure makes ya think twice the next time......But then that is the same with everything else in life as well.

But I do not judge those that choose not to either for there are many different reasons why they don't.......hell most don't think that piece of paper is worth anything anyway therefor why should it mean anything to them if that person is no longer around..

Just I prefer now that they have that done before things get serious or at least in the process of it...

I dated a guy who was never married, but went back to an ex anyway. So finalizing a divorce isn't the ONLY problem since a relationship isn't guaranteed even with a single person. It's a risk either way, and some people are willing to take that risk, and some aren't. It does depend on the person and certainly their circumstances.

I'm separated, and I can tell you I feel like I've been emotionally divorced for years...and I did everything I could to try and change the situation. Thing is I'm raising a child with special needs, and I have a son who has one more year to graduate. It's sad to say that for the past five years I have felt divorced because of the lack of actions on my spouses part. You can't force a person to change no matter how much you wish they'd change. I feel really bad because I adopted my son with disabilities, and I guess I haven't worked those feelings out.

I can understand why people would only want to date a person who is divorced, and that is fine. But I wouldn't be too judgemental on everyone with separated status because the circumstances may not be what you think. There are plenty of married people claiming to be single!

a good warning sign is someone who constantly talks about their ex,
often negatively and hateful sounding it means they still care/love them wether they want to admit it or not...often these are the ones that go back for another try and leave you holding your heart...

Separated is just that. Single doesn't mean that there are no conflicts and married does not mean unavailable.

Grow up people and stop labeling everyone.

Everyone is an individual and I've seen a lot of different
situations. Since I'm married and not looking then I have
a different take now...but please remember that each person
and relationship is unique.

You have to come to know someone before you can make any
real assessment of their situation.

Well I signed up here and was "chasing it down" when I was "separated" and it was still 4-5 months before divorce was final. At the time I thought I was ready, but experience has taught me different. I was in contact with one gal on another site and she wanted to wait until the divorce was final. Another gal and I went out the day after the divorce was final.....I still wasn't ready.

Yeah, in general.......wait. There will be plenty of time.

I agree with some of this .. yes.

But not the "married does not mean unavailable" part. Sorry but that's not gonna fly in my world.

I honor a committment 2 people make between each other. I KNOW if I was the wife of someone who signed onto a dating site I'd be devastated. I believe in the Golden Rule so there is no way I will do to another's wife what could be done to me. Actually WAS done to me.

At least not knowingly.

ummm, actually you don't know me.

no one, except robin, knows me at all on this site, and that includes being privy to my personal life. dan and lisa are a close second.

kudos, me too

Separated for a long time, dated those that I wanted and was upfront and honest about it.

Whatever. That was said in a light sense Lisa. Not like we're tight for God's sake. LOL

Since we've posted on the same sites, BOM & M2 for years, I meant that we 'recognized' one another and I respected your opinion. Nothing more.

Alrighty then. There you have it.

why thank you .. nice of you to say

my kids only see their mom everyday,, they dont know the difference if Im documented as separated or divorced,,,,they just know Im alone..

I'm trying to figure out where this post you quoted came from .. it's no longer on the page .. weird.

lol,, its back on the very first page,,

but honestly,, even if they have divorced, if the love is still there,, they could re unite

there is no guarantee, whats important is how honest and faithful a person is,, not always what a legal document says

my ex and i have separate EVERYTHING,, I raise the children myself,,he is on another continent and unstable so the actual divorce proceeding could take quite a while,

if enough time passes that I happen to meet someone I really click with,, Im going to be honest about my situation, but Im not going to let them pass me by,,,