that you are desperate and lonely? How do you admit that you are that person that everyone despises? How do you admit that you have just been hiding it?

I don't admit it

I've been there, I just admitted it to myself and worked on correcting it...careful though, that whole thing can come tumbling down if like me you realize that there probably isn't anyone out there that can deal with who you really are.

Yeah, I don... err.. wouldn't either. Just wondering what others would do.

Yeah, right.

I don't.

..NOT BEING CAVALIER....I HAVE indeed felt these times of self-(not going to add the adjective here)....but there is ALWAYS some small-yet significant perception of love and beauty that snaps me out of it.

The "suck"...just SUCKS!......but keep your senses open as much as you can..for that one "seeming little" thing to snap you out.

Go to a pet store or something like that. It WON'T fix anything...but...it's a spark.

It's kinda weird. I don't feel bad for feeling that way. I'm more disappointed in myself for having hope that maybe I would find someone. I'm not really sure how to explain it.

It's like if I admit that there is no one out there for me, then I lose hope. But, if I keep my hope, then I will be that lonely, desperate person I don't want to be. So, to be happy I have to lose hope. I don't know I guess something like that.

Never lose hope.
There is someone, I assure you.

Hope doesn't make you desperate or lonely.
Dwelling on the fact that you are by yourself now does, though.

i'll admit i just got out of the bathroom

I find that I'm more often to dwell on the fact that I'm lonely whenever I'm not actively doing anything. If I'm out bowling, working, doing something with friends, driving, whatever, I don;'t really think on it, and if I do then I'm like "no biggie, I'll find her someday." Once I'm down relaxing at the computer though, that's when it all comes down, and unfortunately at the moment I'm doing that more often than I really should, but that's another story.

But I feel ya. I don't want to come off as that desperate person either. When you face constant rejection though, or more often in my case send messages to people who don't respond even when they say they "always" respond, it does get tough. You shouldn't be despised over that though. I look to my friends. Friends don't dislike you, because if they did then they wouldn't be your friends. I dunno, I'm just rambling at this point, force of habit. My point: keep active to try and get your mind off it, and it'll seem like it happens sooner than not.

I am not any of that.
but for people who are,I think there need to be changes in their lives.

I admit to being lonely but I don't consider myself desperate -- it's pretty obvious to me, after 3 1/2 years on the site, that there are people out there who are interested in me, but I'd have to make some radical self-changes in order to go that route; and I'm not going to do it.

I think a truly desperate person would do whatever was required in order to find someone just for the sake of being with someone -- and that's not me.

I'd much rather remain alone than be with another "wrong person."

And I've never seen myself as the person everyone despises -- in order to be despised, you really have to make a huge and negative impression, and I just don't think I have that much of an impact on people in general.

But I suppose I'm guessing, to some extent, since I really can't get inside people's heads and find out what they think of me. And that's OK, too, because I don't worry about stuff like that too much. The people who matter already pretty much have their minds made up.

I bought a tee shirt and printed the following words on it:

"I suck. I'm desperate and lonely. Do NOT talk to me or I'll smile."

I haven't worn it out yet. I'm still stuck in denial stage.

I decided admitting it would do absolutly no good since I have no intention of changing who I am for anyone! So I just continue to hold onto my false belief that everyone else is screwed up and I'm fine.

To cure the loneliness, I got a dog! He never "despises" me, EVER!

Seriously though, I hear ya loud and clear. I wish I had the answer.

Try looking at it from a different angle.

You are too good for any of the lowly miscreants around you to bother wasting your magnificantse on when obviously they are too dim so even be aware of your godlike greatness.


Pour yourself a dirty martini and memorize that. It helps.

I dont consider myelf lonely or desperate becauuse i know it will always just be me! Whoever said there is someone for evryone needs a reality check! Lol. I had a certain thought abt love at one time and now its gone! Too much involved!

I always believe that I am just not ready at a personal level for someone and that is why it isn't happening. Which means I look for what needs to be worked on within me.

I still have those lonely times though but I believe we all have those even when we are in a relationship