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Topic: Intimi-Dating
no photo
Sat 04/17/10 03:28 PM
While rummaging around through some various topics, I happened to notice a couple of them about people feeling intimidated when looking at someone's profile.

This sort of hits home for me, because I've been on the receiving end of this epithet more than a few times -- "My friend likes you but she's intimidated by your writing." That kind of thing.

And I'm not buying it. It makes no sense. So I can write a little bit. People have different talents and abilities, and writing is one of mine. Playing hockey is the other, and that's all I've got.

So, I've never climbed a mountain, I've never jumped out of a plane, I've never cooked anything successfully (i.e., without causing ninth degree burns and radiation sickness) unless a microwave was involved, I've never fought a lion (a beagle once, but let's not get into that), I've never been a surgeon or a fireman or an astronaut, I've never been able to play the tuba, and I've never built a suspension bridge.

There are people who can do all of those things, and I don't see any reason to be intimidated by any of them.

Why? Because it's not about what you're good at (or bad at), it's about who you are.

Me? Intimidating? I laugh at the very idea of typing this sentence. Ha ha ha.

Yeah, I can throw a few words together, and even put enough of them in sequence to make a few books. That doesn't give me any special powers or abilities, it just means I get to get to tell people some stories.

Why in the world would anyone be intimidated by that?

delilady's photo
Sat 04/17/10 03:39 PM
I don't get intimidated by anyone. I find it interesting to learn about other people's talents. I can't sing to save my life but I appreciate the fact that I can enjoy someone else's ability. The fact that you can write is appreciated because I do enjoy reading.

My talent is that I have an outgoing personality which makes me great at my job in sales. I can be a lady or talk like a trucker and fit into any situation. Every person has something that they can do well and they just have to make the most of it

Gossipmpm's photo
Sat 04/17/10 03:41 PM
Lex

ya know...

At first you intimitated me also....

You used words which quite frankly , this little woman from Brooklyn never even heard before! Lol

then as time passed and I saw you in more and more of the forums, I began to see beyond the words I couldn't understand , and saw your humor and your personality shine through!

I write also- but our styles are sooooo diff!

That is just a part of you as a whole
person and if ya think about it (with me anyway) it's a rather small part

i happen to think your a hell of a guy! (people please don't post I'm hittin on him- just wanted to tell him!). Lol:heart:

dnc4Him's photo
Sat 04/17/10 03:43 PM
Being known as a man of words might make simple conversation not so simple for someone already feeling the nerves of meeting someone new...just a thought.

MeChrissy2's photo
Sat 04/17/10 03:48 PM
I ain't intimidated by you. I have a Harvard T-Shirt.bigsmile

no photo
Sat 04/17/10 03:52 PM
Lex, you're not intimidating ... just smart ... but then, some people could confuse the two ... the smart ones won't ... now about that suspension bridge thing ...

no photo
Sat 04/17/10 04:40 PM

I don't get intimidated by anyone. I find it interesting to learn about other people's talents. I can't sing to save my life but I appreciate the fact that I can enjoy someone else's ability. The fact that you can write is appreciated because I do enjoy reading.

My talent is that I have an outgoing personality which makes me great at my job in sales. I can be a lady or talk like a trucker and fit into any situation. Every person has something that they can do well and they just have to make the most of it


Thank you for the kind words!

The intimidation aspect puzzles me. I can appreciate someone's talent, I can even wish I could do what they do, but in no way do I see how recognizing someone else's ability should be "intimidating."

I wonder if the whole claim is really just a diversionary tactic....

Tessa02's photo
Sat 04/17/10 04:47 PM
Lex, I've seen you mention several times that you wouldn't want to be with someone with an IQ of less that 160. So, does that mean if we have an IQ of say 140-150 that we just aren't up to your likes? Those types of things is what others find intimidating. I have no idea what my IQ is & don't care! lol

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 04/17/10 04:53 PM
Lex, anytime someone, male or female, uses words that have more than three parts on a regular basis, people will make the claim of feeling " intimidated " when what they really mean is that, because they don't always know those words or how to properly use them, they feel inferior.

Having that feeling is not a good thing. So, consequently, it leads people to stay away from those who make them feel that way.

Even if they don't stay away completely, they are usually very reluctant to look beyond the part that makes them feel not quite ' up to snuff " so to speak, and make the attempt to get to know or understand the one that gives them that feeling.

Tessa02's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:02 PM

Lex, anytime someone, male or female, uses words that have more than three parts on a regular basis, people will make the claim of feeling " intimidated " when what they really mean is that, because they don't always know those words or how to properly use them, they feel inferior.

Having that feeling is not a good thing. So, consequently, it leads people to stay away from those who make them feel that way.

Even if they don't stay away completely, they are usually very reluctant to look beyond the part that makes them feel not quite ' up to snuff " so to speak, and make the attempt to get to know or understand the one that gives them that feeling.


Very good analogy!!! That's what I wanted to say & couldn't quite put into words!!blushing

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:04 PM


Lex, anytime someone, male or female, uses words that have more than three parts on a regular basis, people will make the claim of feeling " intimidated " when what they really mean is that, because they don't always know those words or how to properly use them, they feel inferior.

Having that feeling is not a good thing. So, consequently, it leads people to stay away from those who make them feel that way.

Even if they don't stay away completely, they are usually very reluctant to look beyond the part that makes them feel not quite ' up to snuff " so to speak, and make the attempt to get to know or understand the one that gives them that feeling.


Very good analogy!!! That's what I wanted to say & couldn't quite put into words!!blushing


Thank you.flowerforyou

I have recently found out that I am secretly a writer and have found myself doing a pretty good job of putting words together...lol

Tessa02's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:07 PM



Lex, anytime someone, male or female, uses words that have more than three parts on a regular basis, people will make the claim of feeling " intimidated " when what they really mean is that, because they don't always know those words or how to properly use them, they feel inferior.

Having that feeling is not a good thing. So, consequently, it leads people to stay away from those who make them feel that way.

Even if they don't stay away completely, they are usually very reluctant to look beyond the part that makes them feel not quite ' up to snuff " so to speak, and make the attempt to get to know or understand the one that gives them that feeling.


Very good analogy!!! That's what I wanted to say & couldn't quite put into words!!blushing


Thank you.flowerforyou

I have recently found out that I am secretly a writer and have found myself doing a pretty good job of putting words together...lol


Now see why Lex intimidates me? I don't know how to write!!tears

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:11 PM
Ah. But.

The thoughts behind the ideas you had were coherent ones.

Lex can appreciate that.

:thumbsup:

justme659's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:25 PM
Edited by justme659 on Sat 04/17/10 05:28 PM
I understand...

I have been told numerous times ( I quit counting ) that I scare the guys away by the way I come across to them. What? Why in the world would anyone be afraid of a considerate, educated, polite and crazy fun person like me? Is it because I like to make things with stained glass? Is it because I like to think before I speak, (most days)? Is it because I am respectfull of the other person? Is it because I have firm core moral beliefs that I will not let anyone change? I could go on forever.

What it all boils down to is this...I can not live my life for another person. If I do not fit your pre-concieved notion of how I should act and be, ehhh, see ya. I will not give up my core beliefs, identity or self for anyone.

I think that the insecurity that the other people have about me being who I am is their problem, not mine. I know that might sound harsh, but it is better to be harsh and truthfull up front than to LIE about who I am.

Like 90% of the population, I put my pants on, one leg at a time. So I am really no different from anyone else and neither are they.
( Unless they are of the 10% that jump in to their pants with both feet at the same time. )

papersmile's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:31 PM
Edited by papersmile on Sat 04/17/10 05:31 PM
i'd comment, but i'm too intimidated to post in this thread. bigsmile

RowBaby's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:34 PM
Lex, I don't know you and I'm pretty new here so please forgive me for inserting myself into your thread.

My personal opinion is that maybe it's not your writing and intelligence that's intimidating (that's actually very attractive) but what you say that is intimidating.

No matter how drawn a woman might be to the fact that you are a young intelligent author with a slight romantic side, after reading your profile (well, a lot of it) I would never put myself out there enough to talk to you on a personal level.

The parameters, conditions and non-negotiable attributes one must posses are what intimidate.

And to be honest, if people of either sex are intimidated by you that is their problem. You know what you want and clearly communicate that.

Now, please excuse me, I'm going to hurry and go re-read my profile and most likely delete the whole thing and start over. laugh

DaveyB's photo
Sat 04/17/10 05:35 PM

i'd comment, but i'm too intimidated to post in this thread. bigsmile


ROTFLMAO

RowBaby's photo
Sat 04/17/10 06:09 PM
Maybe this questions wasn't so much about Lex personally, so I apologize.

Yes, I would say that a person's profile can intimidate me into not writing them.


DaveyB's photo
Sat 04/17/10 06:12 PM
Edited by DaveyB on Sat 04/17/10 06:44 PM

Maybe this questions wasn't so much about Lex personally, so I apologize.

Yes, I would say that a person's profile can intimidate me into not writing them.


I'm not intimidated by anybodies profile, just not in me. But I can be put off by them if they seem to be written with the intent to intimidate. I do think when some people say they are "intimidated" they are actually just being polite in not saying the way it makes them really feel.

EquusDancer's photo
Sat 04/17/10 07:57 PM
Oh Lex, I think its the whole goat and llama thing. I've found the animals tend to be a turnoff for most. Lol.

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