It seems kind of strange to me that upon trolling around on multiple lesbian dating sites, I found that so many of the attractive girls are single. You're made to think by the general community that internet dating is for people who fit into the categories of ugly, losers who can't get dates face to face, serial killers and rapists, self obsessed lunatics, and fake profiles made by the dating site themselves. It almost shocks me that this isn't always the case, and it's sort of sad. I think a lot of these people are probably lovely girls; it just makes me wonder WHY. What do you all think?


- Is it because we girls aren't trained to approach other women so we're forced to look online in fear of being rejected?

- Are you afraid of dating someone in your home town because you aren't completely out?

- Are people in your town conservative/homophobic?

- Is your town so small that the Gay Population = You ?

- Are lesbians where you are just not your type? If so, what IS your type?

- Do you just live in a remote area and can't connect with the people around you?

- Do you have a hard time convincing people that you ARE in fact a lesbian even though you aren't butch and wearing flannelet shirts?

- Are people just scared to approach you in lesbian bars/events because of the fact you are attractive?



Or is there some other reason that you think so many of these girls are having a hard time finding a person to date? Are we just too picky?

I'd love to hear some other opinions on this.

Why don't you relax & quit putting on such a tough act?

Having an alternative life style & having manners, is quite do able.
I know PERSONALLY, a young lady, law enforcement officer, "LICENSED" self defense trainer", alternative life style, & QUITE a LADY.
Relax, be humane; it will all go much easier.

OPINION of an old redneck, that would kill for someone with an "alternative" life style.

We are all the same & need to learn to accept eachother.

...How am I putting on a tough act? I'm just wondering why so many of the supposedly attractive girls find it hard to get dates, when society says that they are the ones that are supposed to have the most.

Hell, if I could, I'd be collecting them. But all the girls I like seem to be overseas. =[

Just an opinion, but read how negative you write.
Try writing nice & personal; lose all the judgement & see what happens. Just a thought. I gotta run.

my head hurts.

tho dating in real life is slow compared to net dating, get out there and start mailing! Persuade some1 to switch teams.

We have the Technology!

I think women regardless of orientation, feel the need to be tough. Most of the time kindness and soft-heartedness is mistaken for "weakness".
However most want a strong partner, but they want to feel needed at the same time.
For me it is about balance.
I want a man to be strong and be the leader- but also have a tender side. I also need a man who understand that because I am strong it is because I have had to be. Raising 3 kids alone isnt easy- If you arent tough you'll be ripped to shreds-LOL!
But I can be tender and loving also.

Hey

I don't find you were being tough (don't understand that one)

you were asking questions is
all

good questions I might add!

Attactive women. Gay or straight have it a little diff than the average gal.

First they are bombarded with. Every conceivable nut out there while most of the time the right one is intimitated by her looks

then they go for looks only and never try to learn the woman inside which is a shame

then a lot just want a little booty with a beautiful women

how you were thought of as tough I'll never know. Even your pics. With those big innocent eyes reeks soft. Haha

have a great weekend. Sweetheart. Love to ya!

Oldsage, I'm not judging anyone or being negative. I'm asking questions about lesbian dating and wondering why so many girls are forced to resort to online dating instead of being able to go out into their own communities to date people.

There's nothing negative about it, especially since I'm now a part of this site and I intend to find a girlfriend for myself (whether through online dating or involving myself in the community more.) And I WAS writing personally, just so you know. The only time I don't write personally is when I'm roleplaying. But even then, I inject a bit of my personality into my characters.


As for the "tough" thing, it's mostly just talk. My friends know I'm just messing around and pretending to be mean, but I've got a big smile on my face the entire time. I just find it hard to trust people, and fairly recently let my friends hug me without me shrugging them off. I just never liked people being close to me as I was always really conscious about personal space. Not to mention I had a high body temperature, martial arts training, and a resting heart rate of 140bpm which all made me feel extremely anxious about letting people get that close. After I got on the thyroid meds and everything slowed down, I felt a lot better and way more open to the touchy feely stuff.

It's funny though, because for all the tough stuff I talk, my friends tend to come to me if they have problems or secrets they want to share. And like I said in my profile, they jump behind me when there's trouble. If one of them gets told that they are going to be beaten up by some bitchy chick, they'll stay quite close to me for the rest of the day. As for the chicken incident? My friend had never been around chickens, which run at you when you have food. So she thought they were all coming to attack her, so she hid behind me, clutching my jumper while she squealed.

Doesn't matter what it is. My "tough" honesty, calmness and humour even in bad situations is what my friends like about me. If someone they care about has just died, I tend to say "Oh well. I'm hungry. Suck it up and let's get something to eat." And it makes them laugh, even though if someone else did it they'd be pissed off. For some reason, they just trust me to be like that. I guess it's like being that rock that they can cling to, because I haven't changed even though everything else has.

I act as the strong and silent type, but I'm really a softie on the inside. I just try not to show it. I pretend I don't like it when people hug me, but secretly I do. (When it's the right person.)

=]

Humm would not know since I don't go checking out the gay sites. But then I would figure those sites are not much different then the straight sites as far as the number of people that are on them. The way one looks has nothing to do of why they are there. I guess many just think that the ones on a dating site are ugly or can't get a date or for other reasons.....


But reality is there are all kinds of people on dating sites and looks has nothing to do with it.....

I've noticed more unattractive people in relationships than attractive people. Why? I have no idea. Then again, beauty is relative.

Edited to add: I read a book about this sort of thing when I was in college, and allegedly, it's much harder for really attractive people to find dates, because many people are intimidated by them. Also, there is a stereotype that attractive women/men are stuck up, hard to deal with, and picky. So all of that might why.

Tadpole I wish I knew the answer. Maybe insecurity issues. The gay girls bar here is filled with girls who even look unsure of themselves and a look as if they wonder if others are whispering about them. Sad cuz they're decent girls.


As for you I dig your attitude. You're alright!

well internet dating is just increasing your odds is all.... Before i would have to find the time to go on the hunt, now i just post my profile and get people interested while i am working and doing other things. pretty painless and easy to connect via the internet. As far as your sexual orientation that just decreases your odds is all. not a large percentage of gay people in this world. not saying that there are not a lot but in comparison to staright i would say far less. good luck to you!

It's simple, many of the hot girls who are looking for love online are indeed fake.

On the other hand, there are more and more people turning to online dating so who knows.

there not fake....well most aren't , now fakers yes but there are some real ones out there!

- Is it because we girls aren't trained to approach other women so we're forced to look online in fear of being rejected? --I don't know, is it?

- Are you afraid of dating someone in your home town because you aren't completely out? --Again, I have no idea...is that it?

- Are people in your town conservative/homophobic? --Well, I don't know...are they?

- Is your town so small that the Gay Population = You ? --I'm not...wait...oh, is this one of those 'only these people can answer' questions?

- Are lesbians where you are just not your type? If so, what IS your type? --Yep, it is exactly what I was thinking in my previous answer.

Well, considering the rest of the answers are going to go about the same...why don't you go out and ask your town? Obviously there has to be a better way to find out a definitive answer on this situation, and obviously, this method isn't working out so well.

Another point is that no one 'forces' anything on someone, people just do what they do either out of fear or because it is what they have always done or any other multitudes of reasons that people do things. So...go ask a lesbian out on a date, or hit the gay bar if you have one, or the library, or really any other place that people normally hang out...seems to me that you are putting gays/lesbians into a section of population that is, um, how do I say this, 'outside' of normal...which in itself is laughable because I don't know when the last time you went out was, but things are anything but 'normal.'

Hey now, I'm normal. Ha, I couldn't even type that out with a straight face!!!

Btw OP, I'm pretty sure most people are afraid of being rejected, you just have to reach a point where you don't take it personally.

What's that song...

"I need a man to stand beside me, not in front of or behind me"

That's what I'm looking for. Someone who I don't have to ask to take the garbage out when it's full, or can't do things around the house without being asked. And yes, I can take the garbage out and do it to, but in that case why would I want a guy who is just going to sit around?

I don't need a leader, but someone willing to step up when needed, and doesn't feel threatened if I do so. And like you said, someone able to be tender without being concerned either.

I would imagine for the same reasons that anyone else is online. Either it's more convenient for them due to their schedule, they are tired of the bar scene, they have as much trouble finding the one (the grass isn't always greener on the other side) or they just want to check it out and cover all options.

Well said. Besides, where else can you sit around all day talking to people in your jammies without getting weird looks?