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| Topic: Why commit to someone online? | |
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textual intercourse iz serious bizness
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Well I will tell you one thing, I am currently talking to a girl on this site, and people think we are commited, but we are not. However if you read my profile it say's I'm only interested in her. Here is why, first we are gonna meet in March, and you never know what's going to happen, from our talking we connect very well! Two, it would be totally disrespectful since we are meeting for her to see me hitting on other girls on this site or meeting up girls on this site. With my ex. when we were dating I was totally open with her about other girls I was seeing. Once we got into a relationship, she got very jealous and the old news I had with those girls kept coming up. She would ask if I really had loved them more or her, just very jealous questions. So, no I'm not "commited" in the classic sense of the word, but I am taking pre-emptive measurements in case the chemistry is there when we meet in March.
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The men I meet online that I find a connection with nearly always live nowhere near me (isn't that always the case?)I might be talking to them every day, and really like them, but I tell them up front that until we meet up and know that we have a connection IRL, I'm still going to date, and we are not a couple. To me that's the only realistic way to go about it.
I think it's ridiculous for anyone to claim to be a couple or in a relationship when they have never met in real life. |
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I don't think it's silly or ridiculous to commit to someone online, there are all sorts of relationships and as long as it works for whomever is involved, it's good. There are no guarantees that any relationship will work out- in person, online, long distance, whatever. And you can know a person for years and years "in real life" and still never really know them. I say if an online relationship works, go for it and **** everyone else's snickers, rude comments, and raised eyebrows. But that's just me.
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Well I will tell you one thing, I am currently talking to a girl on this site, and people think we are commited, but we are not. However if you read my profile it say's I'm only interested in her. Here is why, first we are gonna meet in March, and you never know what's going to happen, from our talking we connect very well! Two, it would be totally disrespectful since we are meeting for her to see me hitting on other girls on this site or meeting up girls on this site. With my ex. when we were dating I was totally open with her about other girls I was seeing. Once we got into a relationship, she got very jealous and the old news I had with those girls kept coming up. She would ask if I really had loved them more or her, just very jealous questions. So, no I'm not "commited" in the classic sense of the word, but I am taking pre-emptive measurements in case the chemistry is there when we meet in March. I completely agree and respect this.. It is what I would do/have done.. |
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commiting to someone online is stupid! i know all to well about this a woman from another site acted like she loved me bragged on me all the time! she even said that god meant for us to be together! she called all the time sent love letters everything and i did alot for her to she was a a german woman! i went to her country germany to visit it seeed great i fell in love with her once i came back she still said she loved me but! she said she had depressions and was on drugs i knew that stuff already she said she had to go to rehab so i waitied for her never heard back from her until just 2 months ago! she said she care for me as a friend now! she didn't say she missed me or nothing it's a lond story but my heart is forever destoyed! and i hate her you can't say you love someone until you get to know them in person people can be so fake!
 
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I don't think it's silly or ridiculous to commit to someone online, there are all sorts of relationships and as long as it works for whomever is involved, it's good. There are no guarantees that any relationship will work out- in person, online, long distance, whatever. And you can know a person for years and years "in real life" and still never really know them. I say if an online relationship works, go for it and **** everyone else's snickers, rude comments, and raised eyebrows. But that's just me. *exactly* you can know a person in RL for years and not really know them...i have been lied to and misled by both RL relationships and online ones. and i have also had the reverse in both too. |
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I don't think it's silly or ridiculous to commit to someone online, there are all sorts of relationships and as long as it works for whomever is involved, it's good. There are no guarantees that any relationship will work out- in person, online, long distance, whatever. And you can know a person for years and years "in real life" and still never really know them. I say if an online relationship works, go for it and **** everyone else's snickers, rude comments, and raised eyebrows. But that's just me. *exactly* you can know a person in RL for years and not really know them...i have been lied to and misled by both RL relationships and online ones. and i have also had the reverse in both too. I was friends with 3 women for over 20 years, we met in the 9th grade. I thought they really cared about me, turned out they didn't. And for all that time, I never knew..... |
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Edited by
MelodyGirl
on
Mon 02/01/10 12:45 PM
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I don't think it's silly or ridiculous to commit to someone online, there are all sorts of relationships and as long as it works for whomever is involved, it's good. There are no guarantees that any relationship will work out- in person, online, long distance, whatever. And you can know a person for years and years "in real life" and still never really know them. I say if an online relationship works, go for it and **** everyone else's snickers, rude comments, and raised eyebrows. But that's just me. *exactly* you can know a person in RL for years and not really know them...i have been lied to and misled by both RL relationships and online ones. and i have also had the reverse in both too. I was friends with 3 women for over 20 years, we met in the 9th grade. I thought they really cared about me, turned out they didn't. And for all that time, I never knew..... Along with this, there are people that met never knowing the internet, before the 90s, got married and were together for 30 years only to find out their spouses lied or deceived. Look at the BTK killer!! DUH!!! 
No one can really tell what another person is like regardless of the internet or not. 
There are no absolutes in life, and to be close-minded is wrong but to trust fully (at first) is wrong too. That being said, I don't think I would commit to someone online unless I met them. I was lucky enough to know my BF for a year before we met -- and now the internet is our life-line until he moves to Cali. Common sense is the key (and a background check). 
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Very true, Melody, you should always be cautious, people seem to miss that, and then when it blows up in their face, they blame the medium, rather than taking full responsibility for themselves.
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true true
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I'm on another site and I am a 35 yo male. It's a predominantly male site and signing up as a woman is just asking for it. Plus you get insight into the boys club. LOL Anyway, eight women have told me they loved me because I am so understanding. I think one actually thinks we are in a relationship. 
wow I just saw this. You seriously do this? Sorry but that is wrong |
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Edited by
DrRob
on
Wed 02/03/10 02:24 AM
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I'm on another site and I am a 35 yo male. It's a predominantly male site and signing up as a woman is just asking for it. Plus you get insight into the boys club. LOL Anyway, eight women have told me they loved me because I am so understanding. I think one actually thinks we are in a relationship.
wow I just saw this. You seriously do this? Sorry but that is wrong my jaw about hit the floor when i read that too.. Thats Scary.... omg..i just read her/his profile. |
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I surprised that anyone is surprised...
Most relationships are bullsh*t, let alone an online relationship.... |
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The answer is- that when you finally find someone that you connect on so many levels with, you don't want to screw something like that up for a little piece of azz. I waited for 6-7 months to meet Angel and I'd still be kicking myself if I went out and played the field. Don't get me wrong, there has to be a pre established timeframe in meeting the person. But without the physical part of the relationship bogging things down, you really, really, get to know the person on a different level. At least that's how it worked for us. I agree Peccy, Jon and I didn't meet face to face for four months, and six months after that he proposed. I am still in NY and he is in Idaho, but very soon that will be changing (fingers crossed). Trust is very important to both of us and it runs deep between us. The distance can be a problem when it comes to the physical aspect but one thing to keep on mind...the anticipation of getting time together, makes things exciting.  
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there are real people behind the computers. For some, they can develop feelings before meeting. For some, they can't. Just like in real life....there are people that don't care, don't fall easy or fall easy
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The answer is- that when you finally find someone that you connect on so many levels with, you don't want to screw something like that up for a little piece of azz. I waited for 6-7 months to meet Angel and I'd still be kicking myself if I went out and played the field. Don't get me wrong, there has to be a pre established timeframe in meeting the person. But without the physical part of the relationship bogging things down, you really, really, get to know the person on a different level. At least that's how it worked for us. I agree Peccy, Jon and I didn't meet face to face for four months, and six months after that he proposed. I am still in NY and he is in Idaho, but very soon that will be changing (fingers crossed). Trust is very important to both of us and it runs deep between us. The distance can be a problem when it comes to the physical aspect but one thing to keep on mind...the anticipation of getting time together, makes things exciting.
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It's usually the first thing they ask too! Once you start talking to a lady they begin the death watch....Lol I don't get it either! I'm a very social person so i connect easily, leaves the impression that I should commit i think????? I don't know but thia has always bothered me with online dating! A date is a date, a phone cnversation, texting, email, chatting is not a relationship if you ask me! I have to at least go to date three before i will commit! Use to be date two, but for some reason date three seems to be when people really become themselves! I agree...I don't know how many times chatting, texting, etc...was all great...then you go and meet them....maybe date a few times etc...the difference is to me..that Im, text, and email...definetly doesn't give you a feel for who they are just yet....talking on the phone gives you more of a idea by their voice and intonations...but you still have to do the meet thing to finish out the process and to see if the chemistry is really going to be there....even then...going out and seeing someone seems to gradually get them to be more of who they are...and that's not bad...have met a lot of nice men..just in the end...they are not the one for me long term. I tend to be a people person..so of course for me...it's more my comfort zone... |
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yeah many times i have had everything going well and then there is something that comes up that makes me not want to move forward! I am becoming more cautious and picky as time goes on. before i would try and say ah no big deal just to find later it really was a big deal. i dont know sometimes i think after being married for so long if i can ever find the right one?????????? at first it was fun and flattering, now it's just a major pain in the ***! I'm so sick of dating!
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Diff thngs for diff people ...
Watever makes them happy its no issue 2 me |
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