"I've got five fingers on each hand for every mistake that I've made
cuz my tongue is tied to tonsils and I need to **** and shave
I'm a shade to pale for handsome and have habits I can't shake
and if you try to take that from me well I'll never be the same..."

So you found someone that you are highly interested in, he/she is smart, funny, and looks good. After a month or so the mistakes that they have made in the past start to come up, some extreme and some minor, what do you do now? I'm not talking murder or any kind of child predator crimes because that is inexcusable, but more of lesser crimes some that you may or may not be against in a broader scale. Do you leave the mistakes as they are and trust they have made a turnaround for the better, or do you berate them before leaving the relationship altogether?

"...Everyone keeps secrets, and a few of us get caught, it isn't the secrecy that kills it...it was all along what we were hiding, the secret itself."

Depends on the secret. The crimes that you mention, are they acceptable to you?
Most I know have something in their past they wouldn't want most to know about. But..it is the past, has one learned from their mistake or is the behavior the same. I know several recovering addicts..I still watch them like a hawk, to see if they are using again because they are generally not trustworthy, yet I will still be friends as long as they are clean.

Is there a gut feeling that you get about such a person? I am fortunate that I do, so it's helpful.

How do you feel when your around the person? These would be the questions I would ask myself in that situation.

If I'm already in lust with him it won't matter.

well you can still boink him a few times and then kick his criminal azz to the curb...

Crime is a necessity out of a government that constantly holds back progress to impoverished people. I understand that because I've been there, poverty isn't much fun and it is made even less fun when you have no other choice but to survive.

True.

"To thine own self be true."........

It is one thing to over look something that kind of sticks in your craw about a casual friend; but, if you are considering more you really don't want to short change your future hitching yourself to someone who's values you do not feel good about. It is not fair to them and it certainly is not fair to you.

Infatuation fades with distance. You don't have to squwer this person with some kind of moral evaluation to just move on.

It's a tough area to cover I think. If the crime was say perjury or theft of any kind, then probably not.

To answer your question, I'd never berate someone before I broke up with them. I've only broken up with two guys in my life, and I wasn't nasty to them, it was just over, and I told them so. As for being able to get past a flaw in someone, it depends on the flaw and it depends on how I feel about them.

If I really like someone (I won't say love because I've never been in love) I have a hard time just shutting that off. It takes a while for me to get to that point, so once I'm in it, it's a pretty deep situation. If the flaw is minor, and can be worked through, or compensated for, or compromised with or something, it shouldn't be a big deal.

I'm far from perfect, I have a few things that bother me about myself, they're epic in my mind, whether they should be or not, so I'd be rather hypocritical to expect a guy of mine to be perfect. Now if he's a murderer or a baby rapist or something godawful like that, yeah, I'd have to end it, duh. But if it's a quirk or something, it wouldn't be a huge thing.

Really? I thought the true measure of a person's character was found under adversity? Making mistakes is one thing, justifying your mistakes leads to lying to oneself and therefore progress is halted completely! Everyone makes mistakes but be contrite or you will carry resentment and it will eat at your soul!

Under the presumption that people have "souls", quite honestly...I have no faith in much of anything anymore. My friends failed me, my state held me back, and my country neglected me. Maybe they didn't do the same thing to you, but I have no soul for this world.

I kinda figured that, not cause i'm not aware because i am well aware. Resentment is the primary reason for depression! If you ever feel so inclined to become completely contrite and take full responsibility for all your wrongs regardless of circumstance you will find freedom. There are phsycological theroies written on it and not that you may heed the advice but it's genuine and quite accurate! All the major religons and self help groups are centered around this one therory! You need not even beleive in God to apply it to your life, but the human soul has measurement as well. They have done studies trying to explain the human soul. The current scientific explanation is well documented by an atheist called Richard Dawkins. He explains his therory on the evolution of the human soul and why it exsists. The jest of it is that colaboration creates success and non-colaboration is weeded out thru the evolutionary proccess. Therefore the soul of man according Richard Dawkins therory was created thru the evolutionary proccess of colaboration.

I took responsibility for what I did, paid every dime back on it and took the sentence. Cost me about $1,500 and three years, but I dealt with my responsibility...I did the crime, I even pled guilty and was given a stupid plea bargain that makes me wish I had fought the charge anyway. But I paid it up, and took the hit.

I'm not talking about crime, that is done and over with for about two years. I'm talking about the assistance no one gives you when you do turnaround and start anew...this country simply doesn't care about rehabilitating criminals and introducing them comfortably into the world. Most go back to crime because they can't find anything else...took me three years but I found something else. I just didn't close my eyes to everyone else when I did.

I have friends that will never do anything better than flipping hamburgers, regardless of their entire life turning around. Not many really care, you don't know true adversity until everyone has turned their backs on you and you still come out with your head held high.

How one goes on in the face of adversity tells alot about the person. The seriousness of the crime, the circumstances behind it and the lasting effects from the action would all factor in.

I've been talking to a guy that is in AA and is trying to improve his life.. He was in jail once because of a DUI and lives in a state where they are really tough about those things..I give him credit that he is trying hard to improve himself and having worked in the medical field, I know its rough..I keep finding out little things about him but he has been very honest so I will give him time to prove he really wants to help himself.. Otherwise he is funny and nice and we have a lot in common..

Is there an option to come back for more boikie-boinkin' with ya?