Go ahead, ask her. She might drop the entire 186 lbs of you in one instantaneous weight-loss program.

My father married a 20-year-old knock out. She got fat in her 50's. He didn't care. She's injured herself and walks with a cane and gained more because of that. She's over 200 lbs. at 71 years. They are best friends and love being with each other.

I was with someone for 12 years. He gained weight. He always looked good to me. When you love somebody, you seen who they are inside too. I gained some too. He didn't care either.

That's what love is about - accepting the person for whom they are - better or worse. There's nothing fake about that.

Fortunately, not all men are like that - the real men.

That's not rude. That's downright mean.

yeah, some people are just like that

Yup, either love and respect her the way she is or move on to a thinner woman.

You know, I really think our society would be so much better off if we'd just be honest with each other instead of worrying about political correctness. If you really like the girl, and the weight really bothers you, then you should tell her. If you don't tell her, then one of two things will happen. A) You'll get used to it and it will go away. This isn't likely, but it can happen. What IS likely is B)it will continue to nag at you until it becomes a big problem. Completely aside from the fact that you're basically telling a lie of omission right from the get go. I'm not saying you shouldn't be polite about it. There's no reason to be a douchebag. But if you want to date her, then you should be honest with her.

he doesn't want to date her. so i don't see the point of insulting her. if he was in it for a relationship, maybe he could be concerned for her health or something, but he's not attracted to her because of her weight, therefore he needs to move on and look for a skinny chick.

Ah. Well now that I've been properly informed, yes, there's no reason for him to add insult to injury by telling her he doesn't want to see her anymore... and by the way you're fat. That's tasteless.

exactly. it's like leaving the final burn. very rude...

Yes, but why would he even bother to go on two dates with her if her weight was an issue in the first place? Did she gain 50 lbs overnight?

We are nto saying there is anything fake about loveing someone no matter what their size is. However, wouldnt you like to have that 200 pound lady lose just 50 of those pounds and increase the chances of living an extra ten years with you also? I, for one am not talking about anything vain or childish, but actual HEALTH. it is a proven fact that if you are obese, and lose just 50 pounsd, you can increase your life expectancy by an extreme margin.

Yes I would love her no matter what her weight; however, I would also like to know that we both were doing as uch as possible to remain together in this world for as long as possible. What about you?

Very well put. Thank you

Maybe I missed something here, but from what i remember, he DID want to date her, but was turned off by the "excess fat" sot o speak. He specifically made it clear that he was interested in HER, but that her size bothered him.

BAH..........superficialality!!!

<----shakes her head, wiggles her butt and walks off!

Are you somehow assuming that an overweight woman doesn't know she's overweight? Or that she's not doing anything about it? I understand wanting people to be healthy, but do you think that you telling them to lose weight is going to help?

But..she was good enough to have sex with.

If yuo go about it politely and respectfully, letting her know you are concerned for her health, yes I DO believe it can help. The main problem, and it is not just with women but men also, is that most people in todays worls LOOK for reasons to get upset with another person. Instead of closing their mouths, and listening to what someone is saying sometimes, they automatically jump on the wagon with "oh yuo are cruel, you are mean and insensitive, you are shallow......."

Instead of automatically jumping in and taking umbrage at somethign smeone says, listen to how they say it, WHAT they are saying, and THINK about it. Most of the time, people are not trying to be rude or insensitive, but the way we hav been raised in society these last couple generations, nobody is willing to accept what used to be called "constructive criticism".

yes there is a differance between constructive criticism, and rudeness, or beliggerance, but most of the time people are at least TRYING to be constructive.

My mom exercises in the pool at the Y. She eats healthy. She has physical problems. She's doing her best.

Yes, my Dad wants every year that he can with her. They're best friends.

Please do not misunderstand me here Winx, but as yuo said, your mom has physical problems. I am not gonna presume to know what they are, nor am I asking, but I agree with you that sometimes you just can not do anything to change what you do or do not have. And in this case, the statement I made about knowing my wife and I were doing the best we could to ensure... takes effect. I would understand there are underlying issues that are out of our control.


And with this said, NO I would not ask her to try harder to lose weight, or even suggest that she needed to.