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| Topic: ganging up on newbies | |
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when a newb makes a thread lamenting the plight of "nice guys" have you ever noticed how he/she will most likely be met with intense mockery and sarcasm? 
do you think they deserve it?
Not to put too fine of a point on it, but yes, most times they do. Newbie or not, it stands to reason that such threads have MOST LIKELY been done to death already, so I personally find it a rather large pill to swallow that they would think that it hasn't. There are thousands of members on this site. Chances are good to excellent that a "nice guy" thread has been posted a time or two. Common sense should dictate that knowledge. (in general terms) if they are new the thread has not been done a thousand times and if you do not like to read threads that are done to death then do not go into them no where does it say you have to read every thread and post in them whether you let such things bother you that is your issue not the newbie oldie or anybody elses issue in the words of another """Common sense should dictate that knowledge."""   Since when do people stay out of threads they disagree with?? 
this is not about disagreement this was about complaining about posts being done to death  Exactly!
and if the thread has been done too death and you do not want to do it again just do not go into it common sense is not so common i guess Yep...THAT is pretty clear! it is good to see you agree that complaining and attacking newbes for creating a thread that has been done to death is wrong you sure took the long way around to agree tho 
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Ignored yes, but other members did not gang up on me. 
social exclusion is also part of it. i'm glad you overcame it though 
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Again, I must reiterate, it is not up to the members here to police the problem threads/members, it is up to the mods and Admin, so, report the post or alert a mod to it so they can take the proper action. It is not okay to insult members here just because you don't like the approach they take in introducing themselves. There may be members here, especially the newbies, who are not familiar with your style of humor who will take offense, however subtle you make it appear. We were all newbies at one time...give 'em a break. I will echo that with a warning. If i see attacks on new members i will lock the person out of the forums. I mean it, don't push me. for Jasmine, thank you
no prob. i was initially worried because i thought it might be construed as me trying to bait the regulars by criticizing them, and then be deleted. i'm glad it didn't go that way.
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I have to admit I did NOT care for Dan in the least at first, and after a confrontation or two, I just avoided him! BUT after a while I realized he has a quirky sense of humor and now know he is really a nice guy, sometimes it is very easy to jump to conclusions about someone!!
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all of u still scare me
 
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all of u still scare me
why would we be scared of you. you're like a big ol' teddy bear
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all of u still scare me
why would we be scared of you. you're like a big ol' teddy bear
i know but it's ME thats scared of u lot my nerves are shattered
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I was more subjected to underhanded planned attempts to exclude me rather than a whole lot of verbal abuse when i first came here. Of course i probably gave back more than i got and looked like the bad one. Sometimes new people come on here being abusive, or insulting, and some of us decide it will be fun to put these people in there place. Sometimes things do get said that are wrong, sometimes it is me that says them. Not always though, sometimes these people just get beat down with sense, and wit, and things dont always get personal. But it is always taken personally, by somebody or other. Its just the dynamics of forums. Newbies and fools sometimes get a rough time. If one person doesnt step in, someone else will. There is no getting rid of it. But it does also need to be controlled, and thats why all of us who break the rules, new or old, get suspended from time to time. I dont think things are any worse here than anywhere else at all. That being said, sometimes we need to step back and think about how we are acting. I must say that I'm totally impressed with this statement by Dan and could not agree with him more. At times we do need to step back and take a long look at what we say and why. At many times I have in fact seen those that don't admit of falling within that same category of jumping in on the band wagon with those being rude to others. Therefore at times we all slip up and join in when either someone old or new has lashed out for no reason but for the attention. I have also seen where some will create fake profiles over and over and come back just to bash others. Many of those times some members have caught on real fast who they were and sure they attacked them. Were they right or wrong for doing so? Most likely wrong but still in those circumstances due to some of the things the one with the fake profile did in the past I really can't blame them for going off on them. What gets my blood to boil are those that pick on those that did not deserve it at all. To me that is a different story, but when they are new they come in create a thread and right off the bat start bashing others for their opinion then I assure you someone will come back on them. Sure they should not do it that way and just report it but then it is nature that some will respond back. Regardless they know if they do attack back they are in fact placing themselves against the Forum Rules as well as the one that popped off first. Even the old ones know that very well they are not beyond getting those warnings, suspensions or possible banned from the site. And I assure you it does not matter how many Mods they are friends with or how long they have been here it will not help them in the end when they in fact cross that line. 
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Edited by
JasmineInglewood
on
Fri 07/31/09 09:16 AM
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all of u still scare me
why would we be scared of you. you're like a big ol' teddy bear
i know but it's ME thats scared of u lot my nerves are shattered
oh shoot!
i've been reading so much of this thread my reading skills are now officially shot 
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I was more subjected to underhanded planned attempts to exclude me rather than a whole lot of verbal abuse when i first came here. Of course i probably gave back more than i got and looked like the bad one. Sometimes new people come on here being abusive, or insulting, and some of us decide it will be fun to put these people in there place. Sometimes things do get said that are wrong, sometimes it is me that says them. Not always though, sometimes these people just get beat down with sense, and wit, and things dont always get personal. But it is always taken personally, by somebody or other. Its just the dynamics of forums. Newbies and fools sometimes get a rough time. If one person doesnt step in, someone else will. There is no getting rid of it. But it does also need to be controlled, and thats why all of us who break the rules, new or old, get suspended from time to time. I dont think things are any worse here than anywhere else at all. That being said, sometimes we need to step back and think about how we are acting. I must say that I'm totally impressed with this statement by Dan and could not agree with him more. At times we do need to step back and take a long look at what we say and why. At many times I have in fact seen those that don't admit of falling within that same category of jumping in on the band wagon with those being rude to others. Therefore at times we all slip up and join in when either someone old or new has lashed out for no reason but for the attention. I have also seen where some will create fake profiles over and over and come back just to bash others. Many of those times some members have caught on real fast who they were and sure they attacked them. Were they right or wrong for doing so? Most likely wrong but still in those circumstances due to some of the things the one with the fake profile did in the past I really can't blame them for going off on them. What gets my blood to boil are those that pick on those that did not deserve it at all. To me that is a different story, but when they are new they come in create a thread and right off the bat start bashing others for their opinion then I assure you someone will come back on them. Sure they should not do it that way and just report it but then it is nature that some will respond back. Regardless they know if they do attack back they are in fact placing themselves against the Forum Rules as well as the one that popped off first. Even the old ones know that very well they are not beyond getting those warnings, suspensions or possible banned from the site. And I assure you it does not matter how many Mods they are friends with or how long they have been here it will not help them in the end when they in fact cross that line.
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I was on another dating website with a forum where I felt people were generally more harsh to new posters than they are here.
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle.  I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle. I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled
Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today...
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I have and will respect any new member as long as that new member isn't insulting in their post to us..
Most of the friends here I have made were as a result of me welcoming them here in their first newbee thread,,,THEY remembered and all that I said to them, THATS just so cool.... We all need to SHOW a newbee how WE WANT TO BE on here.. If they see us as insulting then THEY will be insulting, If we show them respect, they will show respect. Welcome to our place here, and have some fun, be nice, and friends just happen here,wink,lol. Verse's YOU call THAT a PIC??????lol,lol Kidding is COOL, but to be HURTFUL, is Cruel. Treat all others the way YOU would want them to treat YOU.... Simple really.... |
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am i the only one who notices that SOME of you guys gang up on newbies? whether it be for perceived rudeness toward a friend (in which case there is a double standard because there is no backlash when the experienced minglers are rude to newbies) or because they posted a thread that may have been done before many times but is new to them... the reasons vary but i've noticed an air of condescension sometimes... just wondering what you guys thought... maybe i'm crazy?
(i'm not sure if this thread is against the rules, if it is i apologize) They actually DO that on here????? 
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle. I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled
Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today...
That's alright...I got this
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I have to admit I did NOT care for Dan in the least at first, and after a confrontation or two, I just avoided him! BUT after a while I realized he has a quirky sense of humor and now know he is really a nice guy, sometimes it is very easy to jump to conclusions about someone!!
i wouldn't be overly concerned; most of us (myself included) still despise the bloke, even more so after knowing him a bit! |
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Why anybody has to me mean
I just can't comprehend at all ESP. To someone new You want everyone to feel welcome Yes? 
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