I think your an awesome person to say that too her, Its not an everyday thing to give someone a compliment such as you did. I wanna thank you for being awesome.

Happy Mothers Day.

-Mr Markus

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. It is such a shame when people are judged by the color of their skin, tats, etc....but when a parent judges a child so harshly...it is heartbreaking. What you do in your private life should not be an issue with ANYONE...especially your parents. A very dear friend of mine went through this same thing. I suggested she write a letter to her parents and leave it on the table. That night, when she got home from work...her parents were both waiting for her, with open arms and have been best friends since that day...her Dad even thanked her for opening his eyes. The heart has it's own way of choosing who we love and you sound as though you have a lot to give. No matter who you are with, you are still you. I do hope that your father sees this and can embrace you for the wonderful person that you are

Whatever you are, whoever you are, love it. You're stuck with it.

Car, I cannot pretend to have any idea about what you are going through. Honestly. But... I know what it feels like to have a father that looks at you with dissapproving eyes, and thoughts.

As an older dude whose parents had sticks up their butts (straight-laced as hell), I just need to say this: Weigh your words carefully. The anger you're feeling today can and will slam the door shut on the future, and it will be hard to get that door to reopen.

I know that you're hurting, it shows in your words. My suggestion is to sit down, and write out something to your father from your point of view that doesn't hold a sword behind your words. It will be hard, that I DO know. Been there.. This might sound lame, but tone it down as much as possible, and let the hurt that you feel show more than the anger you feel.
I say this because of one thing I have learned in my 44 years. As soon as you (or your words) make someone start to get angry, they tend to shut off their ears, and start up their mouth. Human nature. If you were to write this all down, you could get your point out there, and there'd be no chance for immediate rebuttal. See where I'm going?

Best wishes to ya, Car.

My ex husband responds to my kids like yours does. I know he does it because he is scared for them and wants to plant the seed of doubt in their mind so they will conform to his views and be safe. It's not right and he will accept it over time because it does sound like he loves you and just doesn't know how to deal with it. He knows how people talk about lesbians and he hates that you will have to go through that. Every parent wants the best for their child, better than they had.

MrMarkus, I want to thank you too. I wish every parent could support their children with those words!

Aaw! People can be judgmental and self righteous about things they don't like, believe in or understand. Life can be tough at times for everyone... but this too shall pass. Hang in there...sounds like your dad doesn't know any better. You look young so I assume he hasn't known about your sexuality very long, maybe he just needs some time to process some things.
Maybe you should read the letter to him and talk?
I wish you the best.

Having unsupportive family is hard.... here is a link to UC's LGBT center. Most universities with centers also provide support for the community. It would be a good way to be around a support group of people!

http://out.ucr.edu/welcome/communityresources.htm

Unfortunately some parents do not understand the concept of unconditional love when it comes to their children. I know some parents have a difficult time acceptin a child's homosexuality because they know the rough road they have ahead an don't want that for them. I won't even begin to try an analyze why your father is unacceptin. I can only speak for myself as a parent. I would love my child no matter what. I would honestly feel bad for one of my children if they were homosexual. There is still a great deal of prejudice an I would hate for one of my children to have to deal with that.
I can speak as a sister of a lesbian. She has been married 3 times, has 6 children an 4 years ago finally 'came out'. I was thrown at first. But in all honesty I could care less what she does in the privacy of her bedroom. She's still the same person. The only thing I care about is her havin a partner that loves her an treats her right. That's all anyone in our family is concerned with.
I agree with Sully. You should sit down an rewrite the letter abit. Have it come from the heart, not your anger. Just tell your father straight from your heart. I wish you the best.

I'm sorry for your trials and tribulations

just remember that hard times doesnt build character but it reveals it

but I couldnt help but laugh at the wording of your headline title

"Being a lesbian sucks" isn't that a contradiction?

have to confess that was my first thought

Hummm will have to admit the title threw me off a bit as well.

Due to life it's self sucks at times but then life is what we make of it.

If you let others bring you down for their opinion of you then you have not come to grips with you're lifestyle yourself. JMO

Not saying your not comfortable with your sexuality just that you are still letting others judgments get to you. Regardless if it is your dad or who it is that is their problem that they can not deal with your lifestyle.

Don't let others opinion of you stop you from being you. You see there is only one person in this life that must be able to deal with who we are and that is ourselves.

It will be your dad's loss if he makes the choice not to see regardless you're still his child sexuality has nothing to do with love for a child.

It would not have mattered to me if I had found out that my son or daughter were gay. I would still love them the same way that I do no matter what they are my kids and within my life they will remain.

Honestly heck I would print out this whole thread and let him see what others think.

To many parents try to live their lives through their kids and expect too much from them as it seems your dad has been doing. He needs to learn to accept you for the person you have become not what he wanted you to be.......................

I have deleted a few post please read the forum rules do not post attacking others for their opinions. We are all entitled to our thoughts but if they are done to attack another they will be removed.


Thanks
Site Mod
Kristi

Very not funny.

btw you're a dbag

Thank you all for your kind words and advice I read them all but replying to them would take me all day.

and the title..it was kind of intentional..lol

:]

I think the letter is great, and hopefully it can open your father's eyes. Sometimes it takes time, and I truly hope for your sake that he does come around and open up his mind. As parents, unconditional love should mean just that - unconditional. I may not agree with the choices that my daughter makes from time to time, but as long as it doesn't require my meddling (legality, danger, etc.), I have to sit back and realize that she is her own person and will make her own decisions.

kon...I hope it will all work out for you. Just remember you can't change people. either your dad comes around or doesn't. I know that doesn't help much but just be you and do what you need to do. maybe after you move out, your dad might rethink things. But if he doesn't, you can't change him. Best of luck to you

I understand that parents want the best for there kids, but when you're 21 parents need to realize that I am who I am. I don't do drugs, I don't party, I don't really go out, I stay home and read, write, play pool, play video games.. wow I'm pretty wreckless I must say :-P


I feel what you're saying as a parent. thank you.

Thank You :] all I can do is hope

oh and it gets easier and easier