I'm planning on going back to therapy and finally take the test work to find out what mental disorder I have, because it really affects my emotions. but thank you. I agree...

=] thank you.

Okay like I said they aren't family. blood means nothing. She's my half sister who used me to destroy my family. I was only a kid when she did this. I was in therapy for 7 years. I wont ever forgive her, i would only allow her to come around to meet her son and see my nieces again. That is it. My dad has been no father. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm learning to not care about what he thinks or let him get to me.

The whole family would not include my older "sister" or "brother". they don't know what family is...they can keep my dad for all i care.

It’s funny how you have your whole future planned out and nothing ever turns out the way you hoped it would. And if it did, then **** you’re lucky. In my childhood I always envisioned my father supporting me whether I changed my career or decided to take up a cause, but I feel he silently protests my ambitions and aspirations. Sometimes I feel like I should have ended my life when I was 12 and was in that phase. I wouldn’t do it, but sometimes that’s how low I’ve felt about myself. Sometimes I still feel down, but I could never do such a thing. It’s funny dad, I live my life by your guidelines to make you happy. I pushed myself to disappoint you the least possible times. I went out of my way to push myself harder when there was no strength in my, just so you could smile. Remember how you always took me everywhere dad? Remember how it was rare for you to go somewhere without me? Remember how you told me that you would ALWAYS be my number one fan? Did these things only apply when I played soccer?

I can’t believe I gave you such power over me. You were the same man who went out of his way to help out his friends, family, even strangers. However, you make sure to beat me down or make a ****ed up remark every time I make a mistake and need your help. I guess you’ve forgotten all the times you’ve put me down, you’ve said hurtful things, or you purposely made me cry. I wonder how someone can be so cold towards their kids. Even to this day, I have done anything and everything you have asked have I not? However, all you think about are the times I’ve tripped and scrapped my knee. You’re no father to my youngest brother, but that dad, that’s a subject for another day. You belittle my gay friends because of their sexuality and assume they are all drug users. Don’t you remember that I am a lesbian? I don’t do drugs. According to you the majority gay people are drug users. That’s like saying the majority of Mexican people in the USA are illegal immigrants. That is an ignorant comment. Your other son is a pot head, and all he hangs around are criminals, nobodies, or users and you judge my friends the harshest because of their sexual preference?

You throw the word fag around freely. Anything not “macho” is to be called a fag or must be a fag. A man showing emotion must take it in the *** in your eyes. You call your youngest son a fag after you say ****ed up **** and get him teary eyed. He’s not a man because he shows emotion. He’s better than your other son, but because he shows affection he’s a fag. I can’t even think of a single reason as to why I ever looked up to you. I can’t believe you were once my hero. I cannot believe I thought you loved me. Hey dad, remember that father’s day that my mom was in Mexico and I saved up to take you out and enjoy your day…and you knew that? Yet, for whatever reason you blew me off and went to go drink with your nephews even though we had talked about father’s day for a few weeks beforehand. That ****ing hurt more than you could ever imagine. Why? Because you said you wanted to go out, and obviously you did, you just didn’t want to spend it with your kids.

When have you EVER told me you loved me? When have you ever given me a legit hug? When have you EVER given me an appraisal aside from soccer? My job isn’t a job and school, well it’s school. You offer to pay for my books, but I refuse and you can’t give me credit for trying to take care of my own things.


Yesterday Hilda called you. FINALLY after almost 8 years (it would’ve been 8 years November 10th) she actually wants to talk to you or wants something. Your eldest daughter, who walked out and didn’t think twice when it came to hurting you or your current wife and children gave you a ****ing phone call. I could tell you were happy. Your tone with her is gentle and your face lit up. This is the same daughter who took you for granted, was a ***** to my mother, and who is responsible for me being so angry, mistrusting, and was suicidal when I was 12. This is the same girl who wished I were gay so it would break your heart. The same girl who said you were physically abusive and an alcoholic. The girl who you bought everything for and turned your eldest son against you as well. Her phone call probably made your year. You gave her our address and even though you weren’t verbally affectionate I could pick it up in your tone. I’ve never heard that tone before, actually you talk to my pet chicken that way.

I hated myself because of her. I wanted to die because of the way she stated how she wanted me to hurt you by being gay. I don’t know if you are aware of this stuff, but I could never forget what Hilda did. I could never forgive her for using me and walking out of my life so many times and breaking my heart and promises.

Maybe now that’s she’s back, you’ll feel like a human being. Because to be honest I can finally say that I can give a **** less of what you think of me.

:) I thought you might! Hilary Swank is amazing.

I am sorry to say this but are you serious? Women have been oppressed worse and more than anyone else. Blacks and Jews haven't been the only ones going through things. If you could list better examples I might give you some credit. However, this is a patriarchal world. Women must conform to their "norm role" in society or they're seen as deviant. If a woman doesn't want to settle down and have kids, there must be something wrong with her according to society. I'm still learning about all the phases of feminism waves, but these women have gone through a lot. A woman is raised to want to get married and have a family, and to take care hand and foot when it comes to her man. He is the bread winner so he makes the decision. Believe me men deal with it too, I'm not saying women should be treated better because of what we have dealt with. This is the longest form of oppression in history. Until this is an equal partnership in EVERY relationship (which unfortunately I don't see us even taking a step towards it anytime soon) women will NOT have their OWN value for who they are, but instead will be valued by their "family" contributions.

Oh I'm working on my next piece :) thanks

AMEN.

I didn't assume, you are the one who threw out the word roles. Maybe if your word phrasing was comprehensible I would be able to understand what you are trying to say.

There isn't always a gender role.

I see nothing wrong with what I stated. If you do not understand homosexuality then let me know, but don't believe that every single gay person out there is trying to be or role play the opposite sex.

Trust me I am not offended easily. I've heard it all. I get annoyed, but it's a part of life, is it not?

Sorry if I came across as aggressive, that was not my intention at all.

great! let me know if you come across any other ones. I'm really getting into this topic.

I will check these out thanks!


In the land of god and man: a latin womans journey isnt a feminism book, but its a good eye opener about what women in south american countries deal with.

Jessica Valenti's FULL FRONTAL FEMINISM? I am reading it currently. My sociology teacher is using it in class, but to be honest I'm already half way done with it. I love her Ideas and how she expresses them. It's great to read an author who knows where many women are coming from. Any other suggestions?

Typical to assume who or what I try to be by a picture. I don't portray a male or wish to be close to a male. I am happy to be a woman and can guarantee you that emotionally I am more woman than many feminine women. Simply because I wear loose clothing doesn't mean a thing. I've never been comfortable in fitting clothes, but I have never desired to have a penis in any point in my life. I am not making a statement and it is very shallow and stupid to judge based on a cover.

By the way the "roll" word you are trying to use is ROLE.

Simply because I wear men's clothing it doesn't mean anything. Not every lesbian out there plays the male role. Dominance isn't simply a man thing. When a man does it, he's protective. When a woman does it she is made out to be possessive or controlling.

Some of your statements/ questions make no sense. I suggest taking a few classes on constructing sentences and properly using punctuation if you are trying to make a point clear. Because matters like these, I rather address appropriately and intellectually.

Actually I did a presentation today on Betty Friedan and "The Feminine Mystique".. Have you seen the movie Iron Jawed Angels? I loved it.

Lol..this made me laugh.

Haha thanks honey! It took me a while to process what I wanted to write. I plan to write many more pieces on this issue. What's your major?

lol makes sense.

You are aware that bra burning never actually happened during the suffrage movement right? lol

So this will be my first attempt in writing anything which I clearly identify myself as a feminist. I never knew I was a feminist until recently. The more I think about it, the prouder I am of being a feminist. I'm not a feminist because I am a lesbian, I am not a feminist because I am a minority, I am not a feminist because I believe there will be equality, I am not a feminist because I believe women are better than men, and I am not a feminist because I feel it necessary to be deviant.
I am a feminist because I refuse to sit back and deal with being knocked down. A feminist is a feminist, doesn't matter what her call is. In the end we all want the same thing. Sure, we may not share a common ground but women rights, are women rights. I refuse to believe that we all deal with one type of discrimination. However, it is not okay to be selfish and fight for one cause. We should fight for all women right issues.
Instead of holding one another down like lobsters in a pot filled with boiling water, we should help one another find a way out of the pot which is filled with discrimination, hatred, and mistreatment towards women. The suffrage movement made a huge impact in society, but not many people know what it is. Men tell our story, not women. I'm not going to call HIStory, HERstory, because I believe that's absurd and stupid.
We all know that the 19th amendment was granted in 1920, but you have no idea the struggle, sacrifices, and bruises the women involved with this movement dealt with. From being prisoners to hunger strikes, from protesting in the snow to leaving their children at home in order to give them a better future.
All these women are heroes and it amazes me that we do not learn about them. We are led to believe that some how it was just granted. Woodrow Wilson, strongly opposed granting these women their right to vote. They took quotes directly from him and threw them back at him. The older I become, the more I realize how naïve I've been my whole life. I cannot depend on people to open my eyes, I need to go out there and uncover what the real world is.
I wish I could say that I hope we all will live in a world that grants everyone the same rights, treatment, and respect. To be honest, I doubt that will ever happen. People feel hatred for that which they do not understand. Intolerance is the worst form of selfishness.
There will be equality in the world when people can actually express their ideas, emotions, beliefs, and values without someone shaking their head at them. The day we can sit peacefully and talk about what we believe in and why we believe in it, not only will we accomplish something extraordinary, but we will be able to grow as individuals. Critical thinking goes a long way.
Intolerance breeds hate, make a difference and allow yourself to go in the deep end. Who knows, you may discover new things in life that will help you contribute to a better future.

lol thanks