but i am having a hard time with the fact that i really dont want to take my daughter from her mother....they really dont have a bonding relationship and she does not see her mother that much..my daughter is five...has anyone had experience like this b4... i not moving for spite or dislike for her mother just i feel it would be better for me and my girl in many regards....

What would be more beneficial... and how?

How can one answer this without having any understanding of why you want to move, and what will be beneficial...

I live separately from my childrens father and we trade holidays and summer

I would like to live far away too

fair enough...i live in a small town... and would rahter have my daughter recieve the opportunities in a larger community... plus financially..michigan is a stuggling state and i work in real estate sales... so i actually have to opportunity to sell my home and be debt free... and i was hoping a change would spark my zest for life... besides my daughter.... i am not as happy as i feel i need to be...

Have you talked it over with the mother?

I can see your point wanting to move for better opportunities, but there will be even less bonding if the kiddo is far away from her mother. I say communicate and see what comes of it.

Thankyou.

Ok, so Social, and Financial, as well as access to more Resources.... are your reasons.


Will you be seeking counsel from your daughter as to her wishes? After explaining the basics of the pros and cons for staying, or moving?


Where you choose to move to, will you have family support there? Or a network of established friends.


As to you feel you may be 'happier' somewhere other than where you are....

Moving doesn't resolve that lonliness/sadness.

If you are safe where you live, and are not emotionally oppressed, then moving wont remove those feelings....they tend to arrive with the removalist van... whereas proactive 'work' on you.... prior to moving, that isn't location based, will be a great thing to take with you when you do move.... positive habits that can be anywhere you are.

my son is 21 he hasent seen his dad sense he was 2yrs old.. but he has talked to him on the phone a few times and that was when he was sick in the hospitol the first time a little over 4yrs ago. and then the most resent back in dec of 2007 when we almost lost him he had been really sick, he was on life support for about a week. i contact his dad then, and i ended up harssing him for a few days so he would come down, we didnt tell my son his dad was there, for we didnt want any more health issue that may arise. only reason his dad did come down was so i would quit calling.. he brought his wife and daughter, and i sware his daughter had more freaken brains than he does.

and when my son came home and feeling better. you can guess his dad didnt even bother to call but his wife did.

my son has several bonding male relationships

(my brother nlaw) my youngest nephew

and a friend of family hes the same age as my son. and they get along great.(he was a student of my sisters when he was 8yrs old and he now 21yrs old

I moved 2000 miles away when my kids were 5 and 10 (I'd been single since they were 6 weeks & 5 yrs old.) I encouraged contact and they visited a few times but the truth was, they didn't have a 'daddy' when we lived close and the distance did not change that. In fact, I'd like to think it gave them the latitude to put the lack of a dad-figure into perspective and figure out how they wanted to interact or not. One has about zero relationship with him. The other has a selective relationship, meaning he takes his calls when he feels like it and sends a birthday/holiday card but that's about the extent.

Do what is best for you and your daughter combined. If the mom genuinely wants to be part of your daughter's life, she'll figure out how to make that happen.

I moved 1500 miles away from my sons father just this December and it has been a great move- My son is far happier, the school system is better so im not so worried about his education and future, I make more money and he has adjusted well to the move.

You do what is best for you and your daughter- If you are not happy, they she will sense it and it won't be good for either one of you. Just make sure that you get permission from her mother and take care of all the legal stuff before you go.

I moved 600 miles from my ex but I involved him in the decision to move. I have a good relationship with him and he is my child's father. The ex agreed and I insured the child went back for school breaks and most of the summer.

It was a great move for me and my son did not suffer. They have a wonderful relationship.

thanks all for the advice...i truely appreciate it....