...I am actually. Thank you for your concern. Sorry freind about your loss. But I do understand women. And it took a lot of aspirin to do so. If its any consolation- If I see ya at the bar...I'm gonna buy you a beer.

I'll take 2

In short, she DOESN'T know what she wants. She'd be a little more up front her intentions with you if she knew what she wanted, whether she had any interest in being with you or not. In short, she jerked you around up until you went somewhere she obviously wasn't willing to go, however innocent that may be.

Your best course of action is to just leave her to hew own devices and go find someone else... preferably someone not nearly as flaky or as indecisive.

That seems to be the re-accurring advice I am getting...hard to just let go of someone you have feelings for though

It always is. If nothing else, it just sucks that all the effort you put into a relationship will end up up going into the crapper just because SHE isn't in the mood for it. It's almost like you were scammed out of your time and energy, and all on the account of an obvious flake who probably shouldn't be dating in the first place.

That's why I always reserve my intentions (emotionally or otherwise) with whoever I'm dating. After all- you're bound to get dumped anyway, so you might as well minimize your losses, right? Only put the effort in when THEY'RE willing to put in any effort themselves.

Thats hitting the nail on the head...

Of course. It's just not worth putting your emotions out there for someone who just won't be receptive to them.

It sucks to say, but you gotta approach most relationships as if you're in a business meeting- save the kissy-kissy emotional lovey-dovey crap for much later.

Thats what I was doing in a way, and it backfired.

Mage... no matter what just kiss the girl by the third date so you know if there are sparks.

okay?

Like THAT'S gonna prove anything.

It will show if there are sparks... like I said.

That's still no guarantee.

I've been with ladies who "sparked", who've only turned around at some point and do a complete 180 on me. If nothing else, it'd take more than a kiss on the third date to know if there are sparks, as a great many wimmins out there are incredibly fickle.

Then they say "this is happeneing too fast!" like the topic says, WHY ARE WOMEN SO CONFUSING!!!

As I said, a great many women out there simply don't know what they want. Oh... they'll SAY they do, but when the rubber meets the road, they simply don't. They'll continue on the road of life with you thinking everything's just peachy and then -all of a sudden- they'll tell you to get lost, leaving you to stand there with a befuddled look on your face.

In short, there IS no way to know if there's any "spark" to be had. The wimmins are just TOO fickle even know for themselves. You just have to reserve your own feelings for the other person until you have at least some idea she won't turn around and flake out on you. And there's no guarantee that will even happen.

Listen, if there is hot and heavy kissing you at least have a starting point. It provides information. Now I will easily concede in the long run that can change... but c'mon. This woulda been useful info for our OP here!

You are both right, if I would of took your advice and tried to kiss her during the "eye contact" time I mentioned earlier I would of avoided all of this BS I am going through, or maybe thats what she wanted and something would of worked out...No way of knowing anymore, hindsight is always 20/20

I've been in relationships with LOTS of hot-and-heavy kissing (and beyond for that matter), and that STILL resulted in weirdness goin' on on their part. So -in short- there IS no starting point, whether that appears to be the case or not. You simply don't know if she will be your girlfriend one day and a total stranger the next, as their "feelings" can change almost as quickly as it takes a supercomputer to process code.

Like I said- you simply have to keep your emotions guarded, sad to say. That way, whatever bloodletting that would have spilled from your heart will be kept to a minimum.

No Mage, chances are there was no way of knowing, period. Not really... the kissing would've only told you if she was sexually attracted to you. Not if that fact meant anything.

Mage, you sound like a heck of a guy and a true gentleman. It's to bad that this girl is unable to appreciate what you offer. I know that it is hard to walk away from a situation like this after the time and feelings that have been invested, but it appears that this girl has some baggage issues from her past that made her respond in this way.

My experience is that you will not change someone and will end up butting your head against the wall before long. The most important thing is that she knows how you feel, and that you have attempted to contact her. Now the ball is in her court. Give her a little time.

I am very much a gentleman myself, but I agree with Lilith. I have always said that there is a critical point in the dating process...by the third date, if you are really beginning to like someone, it needs to be shown with more than just a hug. The kiss will show the other person how you feel, and let's them know that your intentions go beyond just friends. Often, if a guy doesn't give some kind of indication of his intentions by the third or fourth date, the woman will sometimes get the impression that you only want to be friends. Not always true, but always better to show how you feel.

I would take this ladies advice. I personally would not let this girl play games with your heart. Its girls like these that make guy like you and me decide to be single for the rest of our lives. It sucks. It takes alot out of a person and our lives. Don't let it tear you up anymore. It hurts, the best thing that I can suggest that you do is go to the store and get you self a movie or something to get your mind off this girl. Don't sit and think about it it just brings gray hairs and gives wrinkles. From what I have read her stance on you is loud and clear; its not your fault. It sound like you did everything right and more.

Hope you can get past this one it sounds like this lady has had an affect on you. Try not to let it anymore.