Love --

What is the difference between love that you feel for a friend/relative and love that you feel for someone you are *in love* with?

Sexual desire.

If you truly love your friend, then I do not think you should separate that into lesser categories.

However it seems to be human emotions are very malleable and plastic things.

So I doubt I speak for anyone but myself.

You are not supposed to have sexual desire (or lust) for a person that is directly related to you. This was not always the case. One only need to glance back as far as the bible or ancient Egypt to know that sisters and brothers would very often marry and have children. This had to do with their concept of lineage and that the Pharaoh was indeed a God placed on earth to govern and rule.

However from a physiological/genetic standpoint, we now realize that anything under a 1st cousin is not a good idea. Even second cousin (though most states will allow marriage) is pushing it a bit. If no children are intended from the union I dont see the problem.

It is not unheard of for sisters and brothers to have sexual attraction for one another. After all, you look very similar in many cases and share your genetic foundation with one another.

Sexual Desire - Yes, this is exactly the conclusion I've come to thus far. Love is love. What has been termed "romantic love," in my view, is but Love + Sexual Desire.

I'd be interested to hear other logical arguments for a complicated picture of things. Since I came to the opinion I expressed above, I haven't seen a better description of Love, hence my posing the question to you guys.


Krisma -

As for what you wrote about not having sex with relative...
I agree with what you've written, however one of my professors in 2007 claimed that the dangers of inbreeding are just a stereotype. He claimed that inbreeding is a taboo so sacred to most societies that this stereotype evolved naturally. I'm not sure if he was just screwing with us though. ;-)

Yet another professor of a Genetics class mentioned that the scent we give off contains markers that suggest our genetic makeup. Certain other people smell nice to us because our sense of smell picks up from their scent that they are genetically different from us. Thus, we are programmed to be more attracted (at least in a small way) to people who introduce genetic variation to our gene pool. Interesting, huh?

I would need to disagree with your professor (and not you I’m assuming?) In-breeding does not necessarily cause more genetic mutations than normal. However, if a genetic mutation occurs within a population, in-breeding will tend to promote that mutation to become more widely distributed. The typical genetic diseases increased by in-breeding are recessive genetic diseases. Close relatives that marry may have a common ancestor who had one mutation of the recessive disease, but did not get any disease because they did not have the second mutation. Chances are higher that both of these close relatives may have the same mutation, and thus be "genetic carriers" for the recessive disease. If they produce children, these children are much more likely to actually have the full symptomatic version of the recessive disease.

But I do agree with you that it is primarily a "socialization" that has been instilled in us over the centuries probably in part due to actual observation of these recessive diseases although I’m uncertain on that. It could have also had roots in religious indoctrination. That’s why I also mentioned that I personally would have no problem with close relatives engaged in a romantic affair, IF they did not plan on producing children and were diligent about taking the steps required to prevent pregnancy. Of course I have no place dictating how someone conducts their love life either. But the question was posed.




This I would agree with you on and it sounds like you are referring to pheromones? You can correct me if I’m wrong.



While this might be true it is certainly not limited to the fact that they are "genetically divergent" from us. That might be one reason to compel us to stay "on the reproductive straight and narrow" so to speak.

Also I did phrase my comment that it is "not unheard of for sisters and brothers to become sexually attracted to one another” meaning that the occurrence is possible. There is nothing chemically happening that would prevent it necessarily. Other mammals will interbreed with impunity just as readily. I work on a farm here so I am well aware of this and need to be very careful about locking gates behind me. I would not abort that offspring but it could not be allowed to breed there after. I certainly wouldn’t bother to chip, DNA or register.

Ah, I didn't think about incest increasing the likelihood of expressing diseases carried in recessive genes. Well, that solves that one...

I also agree that two relatives marrying is fine...although I, too, would hope they decided to not have children for the genetic reasons you described.


Yes, and by scent, I believe the professor was referring to pheromones, but I wasn't sure if he had used that word. =\



Yes, it's true that cologne or perfume might also help. O_o
Which, oddly enough, is a reason why brothers and sisters who wear a fragrance are like reproductive death traps, hiding their genetically similar and thus repulsive scent under a facade of sweet smell. Those wily bastards...

What was I saying again?



Indeed, I wasn't suggesting that pheromones are a deciding factor in who we are attracted to.

Well it’s a bad idea for close relatives to get together and breed. I think both genetic issues and socialization would tend to advice against this but it happens. Of course people always make the jokes and there is still the existent stereotype of the creepy people living in the Ozarks that marry their first cousins and have children. Entire towns are thought to share a common heritage. This is based in reality historically but like anything else, gets overblown.

If I remember my history right, the marrying of cousins, kept hemofalia in the royal families of Europe for many generations. Royalty wanted to marry royalty, for peace treaties & keeping the commons out of the pic.

Right. The royal and noble families of Europe have inbred considerably. Hemophilia is one of those more common recessive diseases that can arise from inbreeding. This is also exhibited in Chimpanzees as well as humans.

Nothing...there is no difference in how I 'feel'.

What I 'think'... can be a multitude of cross referencing, comparing, guarding, labelling, expecting, deciding, analysing........ good thing I don't 'think' about it...

C.S. Lewis discussed four types of love (technically, this may be a logical fallacy or ranking) Eros, Agape, Storgia, and Filial. Now beyond this I am fuzzy, who remembers all this stuff, do you know how many passwords, phone numbers, addresses, SSI number, account numbers and stuff people want me to remember off the top of my head, not to mention birthdays and anniversaries, etc. I can't do it... I just can't do it.

How are the different types distinguished though?

In India one can say "I love you" 26 different ways.

To the best of my memory (which is actually quite good, however my forgettery is even better):
1. Eros- physical, man/woman kinda thing (or whatever you get turned on by, men, women, a warm car exhaust)
2. Filial- family, friends, etc.
3. Agape- the transcendent love of g-d, etc.
4. Storgia- love for another human being, simply because they are a human being, etc.

That provokes both humorous and disturbing imagery all at once. lol

Did I mention I counsel sex offenders?

Seriously?

Most of the time the kids are normal unless the inbreeding is substantial (several generations)and then the offspring start to develop hereditary health issues.

Yes

Yeah we kind of covered all that if you scroll up. Its primarily recessive genetic disorders. You are just increasing the likelihood of the visible symptomatic form of the disease to show up in subsequent generations.