Your in your forties,wink,I am NOW in my fifties,,Wow.
THAT still sounds bad,,,lol
But anyway,lol.
At forties or any age above thirties,wink..
We have ALL been damaged through love.
Or other-wise we wouldn't be on HERE...
We go on. We keep hoping that our "WOW",,,,will appear and we will love and live happily forever and a day.

But to be real, WE will mostly go through MANY,,,,to even find ONE.
That we can call our friend and be close with in this life.

Now as for the true LOVE thing .......well, lets just say I am NOT the one to even TRY to explain when,if,how,or,even maybe...
After being on here for two and ahlf years and STILL,,,,not with my love...
My hearts future is not looking very good..
But my mind and THOUGHTS of still maybe,,,,,,,lol,is still intact...wink.. GOOD LUCK HERE...

now that's telling it like it is!
Preach on!

Your not alone. You may live alone, but you have friends and while some friends may not understand all that you feel, there are those out there who do.



Some days quiet days were nice, but when they get to be unbearable, turn on some music that lifts your spirits, turn on the tv, watch a movie to break that silence...


I was told to grieve the lost relationship as that is what a divorce can feel like, a death... of two people going separate paths. I was not able to get a pet because of lease, but get a pet if you can, it's that caring nurture that we are wanting to feed. Moms, wives we nurture, we take care of things and people... somehow, though we put our own personal needs on the backburner.

This may be an opportunity to explore some things you have always wanted to. Join a group, get a hobby, second job, volunteer, travel... take care of you.



Who better to know when you are ready than yourself and trusting your gut instinct! You are much better than half Very proud of you for taking steps to get off that cycle of an unhealthy relationship.



I love the wisdom I have gained over the years and from those experiences it enabled me to not only make healthier choices, but understand boundaries and also to know what traits and characteristics I wanted in a partner. My partner I happened to meet here back in 07. There's a difference in having fun, humor in dating, but game playing is for the younger set... imo



Removes fork from ljcc1964's eye.... here's some scissors, run and go play lol

My daughter is moving back in at the end of the month - just when I was beginning to accept and appreciate the freedom of being alone! She is bringing her two cats!

I am learning to dance and am working on my weight. Unfortunately, my emotional eating got the best of me! I am down 18 pounds and two jean sizes. Losing slowly so hopefully it will stay off. WooHoo!

Great advice, Trinite. Thank you

this is a good post,,,,a lot of differt reasons not to date,,,,,,,,,but i'm slitley older an speaking from experence,,,,,th 40's is th best years of ur life,,,if u let it,,,,or if u want to start rasing ur grandkids while ur kids still go out an play an ur stch at home being run crazy again,,,,it's ur choice,,,,,,,tell ur kids to raise there own kids,get off ur fatassws an do something,,,,ben ur rules just a little,,,,,,there probley th not so perect day just down th street from ya,,,,,,,enjoy your yuth(that ant spelled rite,,,,but oh well)spank me,,,,,,,,lol wait till u get my age,,,,,,a lot of rules get changed,,,,,,so enjoy th 40's,,,,,,,,,cause th 60 damn sho ant golden

i know that i'm going to say something that's gonna chap someone's a55 and that i'm gonna catch he11 for it but whatever.

i'm at an age where it is increasingly difficult to find a decent woman. the ones below 25 are generally too immature to deal with. the ones 25 - 30 are generally still very much into partying and living out their freedom. the ones 30 - 35 are usually out of shape and intolerant of every little thing that a man says. oh and bitter from all of their baggage.
add to that the fact that since this is the midwest most of the women here have nothing better to do than to pop out kids. you would think that contraceptives weren't available in the midwest. most of the women here between the ages of 20 and 35 have at least one divorce under their belt and many have at least one child.

i am by definition and action a nice guy. i'm responsible, trustworthy, intelligent, loyal, independent, kind, funny, giving, and i've been told that i'm attractive.
i've never been married, have no children, and live on my own. i have a full time job that i've been at for a few years. i'm wise yet youthful. i don't smoke, rarely drink, and have never touched drugs.
my downfall is that i lack confidence and i don't have the body of a male model. but i've been told that any woman would be happy to have a man like me.
if that is the case, then i should have the pick of the lot. if that is the case then it shouldn't be too much to ask to find a woman with the things that i'm looking for. yes, looks is one of them. i admit that i'm attracted to women who are petite. however, it only matters to me that i am attracted to them. i've dated women in the past that some people have thought were unattractive but i didn't care because i felt otherwise. while i will admit that looks matter to me, i will say that they are not everything. i will not tolerate any woman who will not treat me with respect and as an equal. i will not tolerate an evil b1tch, i don't care how attractive she is.
it also shouldn't be too much to ask that she not have been a complete slvt prior to meeting me.

i guess i'm wondering why it is that i am not finding someone deserving of a truly decent man such as myself, and why do i feel that i am always going to be a consolation prize? why can't i find a woman who has figured it out before she fvcked away all of her youth with all of the a55holes?
and why is it that what i have to offer is only good enough for the women older than me and the ones who i don't find attractive?

yeah, i'm a bit bitter.

I am always amazed when guys think that they have to earn big money, look fantastic, or be treated like a doormat in a relationship. I don't play that game and neither do most the women I know. After all I live on a budget, look normal, and actually like to get along.

For me...it is nothing like spin the bottle...it is a buffet.

Got my act together and am past the self-consious insecurity thing.

I can freely pick and choose...when I do show interest...I haven't been turned down for years. Ain't nothing random about it. Now, I am simple less desperate and a little more choosy (in a practical way)

I want to Thank You all for your posts! I wrote both of my topics to help my daughter with a college paper she is writing on dating. She is in her 20's and had a handle on that, but needed some help with the older daters out there. All of you are helping her and I appreciate it. Please keep the comments coming....

I have to admit, I wrote ideas that where in my head at one time or another, with a bit of a sarcastic tone. I was astonished by my thoughts be taken different ways by different people. I guess it shows we are all individuals in all aspects.

Sorry Drew, but that last sentence says it all. Changing the mindset toward something more positive could possibly help, but not until you address the bitterness issues.... good luck in your journey.

Yes, it's like spin the bottle.....except now it's 2 liters instead of glass bottles. They spin a bit slower.

Knockin' on 50's door here. Would like to play spin the bottle, but some of the bottles are clearly dirty, have sharp edges, or spin out of control at the slightest touch.

Your profile just made me laugh out loud. I think your game will go fine and land on an especially pretty bottle!

Very well stated by debreeze. I find that people make dating much harder than it has to be at this age.

I want to Thank You all for your posts! I wrote both of my topics to help my daughter with a college paper she is writing on dating. She is in her 20's and had a handle on that, but needed some help with the older daters out there. All of you are helping her and I appreciate it. Please keep the comments coming....

I feel so used...and dirty...and manipulated....kinda turned on...

Funny how it's almost always the hot chick saying "It's your attitude, it's your attitude!"
Not an attack, but judging by your picture, you'll never understand where Drew (or me) is coming from in his outlook.

A bit. Perhaps you shouldn't focus so much on a woman's past and focus more on the future. Just a thought.

thanks.

i'm only wondering why it is that i and other nice guys end up with the left overs.
i know that sounds sh1ty, but it's true. girls waste their youth and energy with guys that treat them like crap and then when they've finally had enough and are exhausted then they want the nice guy.
and most of the time we nice guys are dumb enough to say ok. i'll take what i can get.
on behalf of the nice guy population, i think i have the right to be bitter.

Actually time has a way of righting the wrongs and the universe tends to sort itself out. At my 20 year high school reunion it seemed that all of the "it" girls had settled down with average, doughy nice guys. Some sort of sensiblity epiphany, if you will. Some of them just take a little longer to adjust. Also, isn't it a guilty pleasure to totally shoot down some formerly hot girl you knew years ago that "deigns" to be with you, but is clearly waaaaaay past her pull date.
That's kind of jerky, I know, but payback.....