Knockin' on 50's door here. Would like to play spin the bottle, but some of the bottles are clearly dirty, have sharp edges, or spin out of control at the slightest touch.
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Boy I thought I was cynical....LOL I had to sit down after reading your profile...my side hurt from laughing so hard. My daughters project may turn into my own self evaluation...LOL Sometimes one has to confront their own demons and thoughts and draw from others...But a part of me still thinks we make dating a bit to hard on ourselves, I have to admit I too am guilty. The thing that strikes me most was it me being a stubborn Taurus or just not remembering to look for the good? I too made the statement "That I was not willing to settle." The funny thing is that the settling list changes day to day and year to year, do you think our grandparents made such statements?
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1Magnum thanks You seemed to catch on to what I was attempting to say...LOL

I want to Thank You all for your posts! I wrote both of my topics to help my daughter with a college paper she is writing on dating. She is in her 20's and had a handle on that, but needed some help with the older daters out there. All of you are helping her and I appreciate it. Please keep the comments coming....

I have to admit, I wrote ideas that where in my head at one time or another, with a bit of a sarcastic tone. I was astonished by my thoughts be taken different ways by different people. I guess it shows we are all individuals in all aspects.

I want to Thank You all for your posts! I wrote both of my topics to help my daughter with a college paper she is writing on dating. She is in her 20's and had a handle on that, but needed some help with the older daters out there. All of you are helping her and I appreciate it. Please keep the comments coming....

I have to admit, I wrote ideas that where in my head at one time or another, with a bit of a sarcastic tone. I was astonished by my thoughts be taken different ways by different people. I guess it shows we are all individuals in all aspects.

The bottle is still spinning…..round and round it goes…..where it stops nobody knows!!! So now it stops on him or her…Are they what we desire? What traits do they possess that we like and or dislike? Questions within questions, our minds spin: could he or she be the one? Or do we just settle?

Settle was one of the words used several times in responses so I decided to find out exactly what Mr. Webster had as a definition. Here is what I found:

set⋅tle

–verb (used with object)
1. to appoint, fix, or resolve definitely and conclusively; agree upon (as time, price, or conditions).
2. to place in a desired state or in order: to settle one's affairs.
3. to pay, as a bill.
4. to close (an account) by payment.
5. to migrate to and organize (an area, territory, etc.); colonize:
The pilgrims settled Plymouth.
6. to cause to take up residence: They settled immigrants in urban areas.
7. to furnish (a place) with inhabitants or settlers: The French settled this colony with army veterans.
8. to quiet, calm, or bring to rest (the nerves, stomach, etc.).
9. to stop from annoying or opposing: A sharp word will settle that youngster.
10. to conclude or resolve: to settle a dispute.
11. to make stable; place in a permanent position or on a permanent basis.
12. to cause (a liquid) to become clear by depositing dregs.
13. to cause (dregs, sediment, etc.) to sink or be deposited.
14. to cause to sink down gradually; make firm or compact.
15. to dispose of finally; close up: to settle an estate.
16. Law.
a. to secure (property, title, etc.) on or to a person by formal or legal process.
b. to terminate (legal proceedings) by mutual consent of the parties.


Now you may call me an eternal optimist, but I found comfort in some of these definitions….So exactly how in today’s society did the word Settle become a negative word? Does one just settle that society has deemed it to be so?

Does being in our 40’s make us more cynical because of our past experiences? Do we compare unfairly new people in our lives based on past relationships? “Been there done that” theory……Is that theory a fair assessment based on facts or fiction? A very wise man once told me “All people possess good and bad in them, the trick is to appreciate the good and decide if you can live with the bad”. The thing I seem to remember is in the vows, "I, _______, take you, ________, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
So does the bottle keep spinning or do we compromise just a little and settle? Tick tick tick the clock ticks on and time is passing us by……..and the bottle still spins on and on…

Remember the days when you found that someone special and his or hers careers, goals, aspirations did not matter? When you just enjoyed being with each other and the chemistry was right, or the sex was just good (Hmmm rethink that one), but you where just together. I am referring to dating in your teens and early 20’s, when you thought people in their 40’s was old: Ancient actually…LOL Why is it that when we get older we start adding all the garbage into the dating equation?
Does he or she have an education, job, how many kids and how old? Do we like all the same things? What happened to opposites attract? How many divorces, lovers, are they strait or bi? Why are they single, divorced or separated? Is there anyone out there that gets me? Ha I’d say most likely not….Do we in actuality make it harder on ourselves to date in our 40’s? Remember the days of passing him or her note reading “I like you! Do you like me?” In today’s world we wink at each other online hoping that we connect at least for the moment. We go out on that first online date hoping for the best prepared for the worst…..sometimes we are mildly surprised and find a nice fit, other times we are calling for the check thinking God get me out of here.
In summary I have come to one conclusion about dating in my 40’s, it goes back to the game of our teens. Spin the bottle and hope like all hell that sucker lands on the person you want to kiss the most…..To all of you in your 40’s like me still out there dating I salute you because we are all in the same boat….or bottle…