I've given it some thought -- mainly because I've been in a lot of relationships and, in most of them, after about three months, I'm just dying to get out....!

"Grass is always greener"....?

I always say it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.

But then, after I've been alone for awhile, I start remembering all the good parts of being with someone....

It becomes clearer to me every day that the odds of my finding anyone truly compatible are probably in the negative numbers, at this point. Sometimes I think it would be best to concede the point and just accept permanent singularity.

But other times....

I guess I never thought about it in those terms because it is my choice to remain single. I am quite happy to be alone. I know who I am and I also understand the worth of my affections. It’s hardly a question of settling at this point.

Like Lex said it is better to be alone than with the wrong person.

But god do I miss the warmth, laughter, company, discussion, passion and body of a woman.

Exactly -- those are the things that cause the occasional thoughts of "Hey, it would be nice to meet somebody...." to run through my head.

But then I think about how it's always more trouble than it's worth -- because they always end up wanting to change me (after telling me how perfect I am in the beginning!), the attempts at "domestication," the deceptions, the manipulations -- there just doesn't seem to be anyone out there who wants a relationship without trying to turn me into someone else.

And I really don't need that.

I agree with you "take me as I am, qualities and defaults" if you fell in love with me why change me the first chance you get.

Great question!

I'm not sure if any of us are "meant to be alone," but I do know that some are better suited to being alone than others.

It all comes down to fear. Do you fear being alone? Or are you completely comfortable watching the world through your window? (feel free to insert computer metaphor)


As for me, I've had worse company than my own.

I don't believe anyone of us is meant to be alone in life. That isn't the way were are meant to be. Men and women compliment each other. We belong together.

I think you're right, not everyone is meant to have a life partner or whatever you want to call it. I've been single for nine years and I'm quite happy. When I was going thru my divorce my wife told me she thought I could live the rest of my life alone and be happy. Looks like she might be right.

I think that is something that society has drilled into you..

i don't know if i think people are MEANT to be alone, but i do believe that some folks set so many parameters, refuse to compromise any of their pre-conceived notions of what a perfect mate should be, that they invariably WILL be alone.

I really prefer to take the "meant to" aspect out of it. The problem with that is if we're "meant to" (or "not meant to") be with someone, it creates the semantic issue of who or what is it that's doing the "meaning"? "Meant to" implies a preconceived volition and intention to the circumstance -- which I don't believe is the case.

I think of it more in terms of chance, opportunity, and one's own personal situation. One thing I've learned from dating sites is that your chances seem to improve the more "mainstream" you are. Those of us who are a little more outside-the-box find it harder to locate compatible people on dating sites. Maybe we're "not meant to" be with anyone because our own values and standards are in the way -- self-inflicted wound....?

But I know all too well what doesn't work for me....and I'd rather be alone than live that way again.

really? ^^^


i always found that ones who tended to be different stood out, and were far more all-around attractive than the ones that were but part of the flock.

maybe it's more difficult for them to 'remain' in a relationship, but i would think the initial interest were much greater.

I don't think we are meant to be alone. But.......within this reality it seems that time has past for me finding another one to be there to share things with.

Or maybe I'm just too hard to deal with in any case I would rather be alone then with someone I don't want to be with.

Good thing I have friends & family to at least share a few things with.

I haven't seen that -- I've seen LOTS of "I'm looking for someone intelligent, humorous, creative, etc." in profiles, etc., but there's never any follow-through. Words only. I think they write that because they think that's what they're SUPPOSED to write, not because it's reflective of any genuine interests.

I agree that the ones who are different do tend to stand out, but standing out and being successful are two entirely different things.