i ran into this girl at a bar tonight and she was soooo cool and we really hit it off. however, i came to find out that she was a year older than me and had a kid when she was 15!!!! i was like, whoa, and played it off all cool, but should this affect my outlook on her when im only 21 and stuff? i dont know if i would be ready to date someone who had a child and stuff. i dont want to seem like im taking advantage of her, so i turn to the noble minglers that i have come to know so well and i ask, should i let the kid bother me? would you wanna date a really cool and good looking girl that already had a 5 year old girl? please give feedback and dont joke around because im very serious.

Dont date someone with a kid unless you are able and willing to be there for them.

Dude. If you don't know if you are " ready " to date someone who has a child...

Trust me...you aren't.

yeah. i am way too young for that ****. she me she had a kid when she was 15. i was like, whoa. i am going to be real with all of you and say that im thinking about just hitting and quitting, but my conscious would prolly eat me up. why is it that the one girl that i really hit it off with for the first time in 3 months has a motherfukcing kid? is it me? dammit.

why is it such a big deal that she has a kid its not like she asked you to be a father figure to the kid.

Maybe not...but being as young as he is, I think he would be well served to determine whether or not the father is actually in the picture.

"...has a motherfukcing kid? is it me?"

I think that says it all right there!! You should just tell her how you think and leave it at that. Besides, if she is like most women, you won't be meeting or seeing her child until she is ready.

if i have learned anything about girls i have learned that they can be very emotional and unpredictable when it comes to situations like this. am i messing with a ticking time bomb? that is DEFINITELY not what i need right now. im gonna talk to her tomorrow and stuff, but if it gets weird i am gonna bail faster than anything ive ever seen. thanks guys, i appreciate the feedback.

Leave it alone. Its just someone you met, right?
Cool you met someone. Just not dating material for YOU. She might be fine for someone else.
Speaking of things in terms of "MF kid", and "ticking time bomb", says to me you are not right for her.

I wish I knew who this girl was so I could tell her to RUN and RUN FAST away from you! YOU are the last type of guy she needs in her life! "Hitting and quiting"? "motherfu**ing kid"? What the hell is that about? Talk about being a player! It's guys like you that give all the decent guys a BAD NAME! I'm just totally amazed that you have the audacity to show your true colors (a$$hole comes to mind) so blatantly!

A mother effing kid? Hitting and quitting? PLEASE, I beg you....leave this girl alone. She has obviously already had a very hard time of it. Just stop. Why add to her misery just so you can get your rocks off? Please don't do this to her and her child.

Heh, this would be my worst nightmare -- I don't drink, and I wouldn't be in a bar, and I don't date anyone who has a kid -- this would be my ultimate non-qualifier....

Even without all that stuff, I see some serious red flags -- she had the kid when she was 15, she (presumably) leaves the kid at home so she can go drink at some bar -- I don't know, I would tend to see that as a problem. But that's just me.

Yes, women can be very emotional about their kids. So can men who are fathers. In fact, if I ever heard a guy refer to my children as mother f***ing kids, he'd find himself in the hospital.

Woot! Woot!
You go ((((Ruth))))

Thank you! I was pretty much thinking the same thing. Nothing wrong with not being ready to be a parent, step or otherwise, but damn, this post just oozes hostility, disrespect and immaturity on so many levels, it's outrageous.

OP, do her a favor and leave her the hell alone. She deserves much better than that. It's hard enough being a single parent, no matter what the age, without such negativity.

A what kind of kid I wonder if your mom said that about you. This girl needs to run in the opposite direction when she sees you coming buddy. You have some serious issues and you need to step back and re-think how you look at life.

Actually, you don't know the circumstances. Yeah, she was 15, which makes her young and incredibly naive and stupid, most of us were at that age. But, she took responsibility, had and kept the child, which says something. As for her being out drinking at the bar, you don't know that maybe, just maybe it's the first time she's been out in months. Maybe it was the father's visitation, maybe her parents (or someone) took the child for a sleepover so mom could have a break? Now, if this is a pattern of behavior, yeah, I could see the red flag.

Not all teenage parents are irresponsible. Some actually turn out to be better parents that adults. Amazing what can happen when you're forced to grow up overnight

Good for you Ruth

hahaha. whatever. id rather put myself in the hospital.

That's true. Speaking strictly for myself, I don't want or need to know. I've been presented with enough information to know that I would not be interested in pursuing this scenario. Your mileage may vary.



Again, speaking strictly for myself, the fact that she's in a bar tells me everything I need to know.



I have some friends who were teenage parents and who have done a great job with their kids. In my experience, they are a minority (and that covers ALL parents, not just the teenagers).

I'm just saying that, in the scenario as originally presented, I see enough warning signs that I would make an immediate and permanent exit. You don't have to know every single detail in order to know that a situation isn't right for you.