Well because of an arthritis flare I have been spending a lot of time at the site. I have been on the internet almost from it's inception and logged thousands of hours. I am not the most skilled at being susinct, use of grammer or puncuation, or spelling but I do think I communicate pretty well for an old broad who has seen a lot of this old world and it's people. I also think I know quite abit about human behavior and how it affects individuals and societies.

I'm going to say that saddly for this site there are a select few that seem to jump at even the slightest opportunity to dog on people. They stay just under the radar with snotty insults, holyier than thou observations, scarcasm, and at times take it out of the forums to other threads or emails and say things that they don't own up to. It is vicious, calculated, and sometimes a collaborative effort. It is cyber bullying in one of it's uglyest forms.

I saw the clique thread from begining to end and I don't think it was this sites finest day. There are some posters that should be ashamed of their behavior. There was a sustained effort to do everything possible to make a new memember feel unwelcome, picked on, and hijack her thread even though she did not retaliate and even tried to make peace. Her post was a civial and well stated observation that attacked no one person. Her behavior on this site that I have seen has been civil and normally flirty for a dateing site even funny, and thought provokeing. Her profile and photos are in good taste and approriate. She was extreamly nice to anyone who was nice to her if they agreed with everything she said or not. I don't know her from a light post so I have no vested interest to defend her except I think she will be an asset to this site if she chooses to stay. After her treatment, that sure didn't look favorably on the people involved, I figure she will quickly find friends includeing a desireable partner and leave this site. Maybe not she strikes me as someone with enough class to hang around and meet the really nice people. I hope so.

I personally think there are some groups that are open and friendly to all. However some are clearly personal chat rooms where private conversations are going on and those uninvited are rarely welcome and sometimes hostilly treated if not totally ignored or very directly told to leave in no uncertain terms. They maybe veiled in "jokes" but anyone with half a brain can figure out what is going on.

There are others that expect people to almost ask permission to make a remark or voice and opinion. They appear to expect newbies to spend an inordinate amount of rah rah time to endear themselves to the bullies and if they don't chime in or heaven for bid disagree they make fun of them, call names, insult their morals, and generally harrass them selectively editing what they say or or outright twisting it into something they didn't say at all.

I understand the whole concept of disagreeing with a statement or premis; or questioning what is professed or even what is a more likely the scenario in reality. I will debate almost any subject with any one on facts or philosophy basis. There are times where I will just take an opposing opinion to get people talking. But I don't need to insult or degrade anyone. I offer no personal opinions about anyone unless they specificlly ask for it.

What I find childish, disrespectful, and totally un neccessary are the personal attacks and consistently trying to tell people they can not belong to a public forum, or even society, if they have one belief, or lifestyle, or level of ability to communicate. The elitest attitudes in SOME of the posts I have read are cruel and totally over the top.

I think a lot of people have just exited a thread and said well so and so is going to get the treatment and excuse it. True people always have the right to leave but words and opinions do hurt people and there have been a few times that people have been attacked and more or less annilated for wanting basiclly the same rights as their attackers. Many times "teachable moments" are passed over as just too much effort to explain. Not everyone that comes in this site is going to have the same experience or world view. A FEW have taken their membership here as a right to unload on people for whatever injustice has been heaped on them. The ANGER is so prevelent I am surprised their profiles and posts are not edged in flames. When the group turns it's back on this behavior you are just upping the odds that you are going to be the next victim. It embolden's the bullies and drives away the rational, considerate, thinking, fuctioning, and desirable people.

Yes this is a community and I really get there are some long standing and valuable friendships here to defend but if someone is being a *****, and I use that as a gender nuetral term, people have to step up and report it and call it out for what it is FOUL. You all can think about this. Since the majority of the offenders were not in the room when I started this post I don't feel I am picking on any one but I invite anyone to read it and if you think it doesn't apply you are entitled to your opinion if it is truthfully and respectfully made.

that depends, are you clueless?

7z3... this is a nice thread im glad you made it...

all the time!! gosh you see me.. wait...what are you talking bout again?

I just think if you see a new person come into a thread, like in the Chit Chat forum, why not just say hi to them, or something like that to let them know they were acknowledged. A lot of times, the new people are only welcomed on the Welcome Forum, and that's it. I think if we all take the initiative to reach out and talk to the new people in more then just the Welcome Forum, they might feel a little more comfortable and be more prone to let people get to know them. JMHO

where that 50 bucks

we may need a new sgt at arms lol

thats all the evidence i need. ur in. heres ur taser.

PacificStar48, I agree with you to a point about what all happened yesterday. But........there are some details that some do not know about that actually caused others to take the thread the way they did.

I heard via a phone call about the clique thread yesterday. Having cliques and being a part of them here, is just like hanging out with friends or with a certain group of people that share similar views or personalities. I fall under a few cliques here on Mingle. The members within them are my friends. I really don't accept friend requests from anyone on here unless we have talked and continue clicking with our personalities as friends do. The so called "clique" I'd say I am a part of is really friendship with some fellow Minglers. Sometimes we start threads in honor of another friend's friendship or for those who have been a part of this site or JSH, for quite some time. I'm just glad I click, with as many as I do, because I have some of the best friends out there on this site.

whats with all these clique threads?

am i forgiven?
or next time should i puke in your thread?