Community > Parenting Talk

Topic: Child Support Spreadsheet required...
Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Thu 10/30/08 07:31 AM
Finally! The courts recognized that my ex was clearly just trying to get more money.... They required her to keep a monthly Excel spreadsheet with receipts to justify her request in support. We will review this with a court appointed mediator in one year. IMO, this should be required by the one receiving the support monthly. Especially for the parent paying who is deeply involved.... Feels good to get that off my chest Jim, I hope it all works out. The child is the priority and it sounds like you're doing your best.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Thu 10/30/08 07:33 AM Edited by Winx on Thu 10/30/08 08:15 AM
My opinion on child support (being a single parent) is that it should be treated just like SSI the parent receiving should have to account for every penny, deliniating out what portion goes for housing, food, clothing, "play", transportation, ect and provide documentation supporting this.........and reports should be supplied to the non-custodial parent and state child-support office quartely.....the Gov't has a right to know where there money is being spent and so should parents who have to pay. I did this on my own for my ex when he paid and there was never any issuehe could raise about where "his' money went......to me the money is the childrens our marriage ended he was in no way obligated to support me any longer. How did you figure out roof over head, utilities, detergent, gasoline driving them around, toothpaste, and such?

franshade Joined Tue 07/24/07 Posts: 24704	Thu 10/30/08 07:33 AM
why should it matter what the parent makes if the govt says you can support a child on x amount then you should get half of x amount if you want the spouses money stay married why should one parent pay 50 a week and another pay 200 a week the cost is the cost the only change is the wants if you want the wants stay married or let the kid stay with the parent more financially able to raise the child to charge more because the parent makes more is the same as taking from """joe the plumber""" per say if you want the money the x makes stay married Eh, decided it's not even worth it to go here. Just suffice it to say your way off base. I reserve the right to edit rants anytime I want to!!... HIP HIP HOOOORAHHHHHHH Jim, I am glad things are working out for you beautiful thing to see a devoted and hands on Dad

beachbum069 Joined Mon 04/07/08 Posts: 14325	Thu 10/30/08 07:56 AM
Child support is to help the child maintain the same lifestyle at both households. I know the child support I pay doesn't get all spent on my son, but it's not all for the child. It's to maintain an equal lifestyle.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Thu 10/30/08 08:21 AM
Child support is to help the child maintain the same lifestyle at both households. I know the child support I pay doesn't get all spent on my son, but it's not all for the child. It's to maintain an equal lifestyle. I believe it is spent on your son. He has a roof over his head, the gas and electric are on. Washer and dryer to wash his clothes. Furniture for him to use. Everything he uses in the home. He has food and clothes. Then there's birthdays and X'mas. It requires gasoline to drive him around. There are sports costs. Birthday presents to buy for parties he attends. Social activities. He uses water in the home and toothpaste and toilet paper, school supplies, and school pictures. Computer for homework. College costs. There are more things too. It costs money to raise a child.

adj4u Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 21254	Thu 10/30/08 09:12 AM
Child support is to help the child maintain the same lifestyle at both households. I know the child support I pay doesn't get all spent on my son, but it's not all for the child. It's to maintain an equal lifestyle. it is helping the other parent live the same life style as well if the parent can not maintain then maybe they should not be the custodial parent i know multiple cases ofwhere child support is used for what the parent wants rather than the needs of the child all support should be accounted for as directed by the op judge did and the other parent need to show where they are contributing to the support of the child as well and support should be a flat rate per the area of the divorce degree or the are you live in which ever is less (thus you can not get divorced in say cleveland and move to beverly hills and expect the other parent to pick up the tab for the move and upgrade in lifestyle the custodial parent should have to show proof of the expenses of the child and then they also need to put in their share of said expenses if they can not afford to be the custodial parent then maybe they should not be (these things are contingent on both parents wanting to be active in the child's life) if they are not active in the child's life then they should have to pay double and then some cause money will not raise a child but some think money can fix anything i also know of parents that can not afford to see their kids because their support is so high the system needs overhauled and maybe my ideas seem to harsh but something needs to be done (look at the state of the country after forty years of the system as it is now

adj4u Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 21254	Thu 10/30/08 09:21 AM
Finally! The courts recognized that my ex was clearly just trying to get more money.... They required her to keep a monthly Excel spreadsheet with receipts to justify her request in support. We will review this with a court appointed mediator in one year. IMO, this should be required by the one receiving the support monthly. Especially for the parent paying who is deeply involved.... Feels good to get that off my chest i agree with this, for the most part. however, what if her claim isn't based solely on what she needs to raise the children, but is so that the lifestyles of the children don't differ that greatly from the home of one parent to the other? example: one parent is quite rich, but is able to 'hide' most of their income, or their income changes drastically, and the kids get to do all sorts of stuff with them: movies, dinner, vacations abroad, toys, games, etc. while the other parent has to watch every penny just to ensure that they are fed and clothed. it should not matter child support should be based on a govt standard as to what it costs to raise a child if you sign up for govt assistance and the rate per child is 150 a month then that is what child support should be and it should be divided between both parents it should not be dependent on the wage of the parent if one wants the lifestyle the other parent can provide then do not let the marriage end spread the wealth has been going on in the child support arena for far to long if any support is paid above the govt guide line for assistance then there should be a spread sheet for it and be accounted for Do not let the marriage end to maintain the same lifestyle? There are too many variables to go into here. But..come on..that's not reality. Spread the wealth with child support? Hello? The woman pays for everything when raising the child. The man helps. He helps!!! It doesn't even cover half. Sheesh. well maybe the ""woman"" (your word not mine) should learn to shop better the kid does not have to have the keep up ith the jones stuff the kid should have their needs taken care of an account should be set up and both pay into it and the expenses paid out of said account on anything support over 150 (i know 150 is not much but i have done it) a month including the 150 if more is paid (the 150 is an example maybe 200 would be a better number accountability is needed maybe there would be fewer deadbeats if they could see where the money was going read my previous post

iceprincess Joined Tue 11/07/06 Posts: 5938	Thu 10/30/08 12:05 PM Edited by iceprincess on Thu 10/30/08 12:08 PM
My opinion on child support (being a single parent) is that it should be treated just like SSI the parent receiving should have to account for every penny, deliniating out what portion goes for housing, food, clothing, "play", transportation, ect and provide documentation supporting this.........and reports should be supplied to the non-custodial parent and state child-support office quartely.....the Gov't has a right to know where there money is being spent and so should parents who have to pay. I did this on my own for my ex when he paid and there was never any issuehe could raise about where "his' money went......to me the money is the childrens our marriage ended he was in no way obligated to support me any longer. How did you figure out roof over head, utilities, detergent, gasoline driving them around, toothpaste, and such? I took the average cost of those items in my area rent-700, groceries to logically feed 3 people for a month-200 (i choose to cook, don't do boxed meals this includes laundry supplies),gas-320(80per tank i use 1 tank per week going to from work and running after kids), utilities:fuel oil for the winter season-700,electricity on budget-140 no trash or water bill Total for this comes to-2060/3=686.67 and since I'm an adult and logically use more of these items I figure I am responsible for 2/3 my ex paid 750 for 2 children so there was approx 64 or 32 a month per child left over for my children to with as they chose. You could raise the argument that what he gave me barely covered the cost I estimated of raising my children but he didn't bring them into this world alone and I don't believe he is responsible for paying for them alone.No i never figured cost of clothing and school supplies and extra cirruculars but we alternated years on paying for these items in and we each spend enough throughout the year on extra things so it has never been an issue. On a personal level we detest each other but but I have never seen that as a reason to try andfleece him when i could.

Jim519 Joined Thu 12/27/07 Posts: 9203	Thu 10/30/08 05:59 PM
Each parent should be held accountable. Some may pay a little more, some less. Either way the child should have a healthy and happy life in both homes. I am willing to do my part to help with that. It was evident my ex was trying to manipulate the system to get more money. It was so blatently obvious it would make you sick to your stomach....It backfired on her and thankfully so... THat is why I feel a spreadsheet monthly for expenses incurred, based on wages, and lifestyle for the child would benefit. It would benefit the parent who is possibly paying too much, as well as the parent who may not be getting enough. It can help in both scenarios

adj4u Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 21254	Thu 10/30/08 07:32 PM
Each parent should be held accountable. Some may pay a little more, some less. Either way the child should have a healthy and happy life in both homes. I am willing to do my part to help with that. It was evident my ex was trying to manipulate the system to get more money. It was so blatently obvious it would make you sick to your stomach....It backfired on her and thankfully so... THat is why I feel a spreadsheet monthly for expenses incurred, based on wages, and lifestyle for the child would benefit. It would benefit the parent who is possibly paying too much, as well as the parent who may not be getting enough. It can help in both scenarios exactly and i also said that if a noncustodial parent could see where the money was going there may be fewer deadbeat parents out there it is one of the there posts lol to all responsible parents

daniel48706 Joined Fri 03/16/07 Posts: 8566	Fri 10/31/08 07:49 AM
the person paying child support does NOT pay even half, when they follow their local child support guidelines. This is a proven case more times than can be counted. Take for example my case. I have two children, and sole custody of both. between the three of us, we receive approximately 700 a month (between work, and their ssd). My ex takes home over 1600 a month, and is only required to pay 88 dollars a month for support. And that isnt even 88 per child. It is 88 TOTAL per month. I am scrambling today to find a halloween costume for one (if not both) of my children as I have had to put rent, groceries, etc above everything else. I asked her to send me 20 dollars so that I could get them a costume, and she has refused to do so. Now, does this sound right to you? The system needs to be overhauled big time, and it needs to be made fair for the children involved big time. This does NOT mean spreadsheets, or anything showing where the money goes. Every single state has a procedure to follow if the non-custodial parent is concerned about where the money is being spent, that requires them to hve the courts themselves intercede and investigate the issue. The payer does not have any right to know what specifically hte money is spent on. Again, I have been through this myself, as my ex decided to file a complaint to have me investigated to find out where the money was being spent. The courts looked into it and declared nothing was amiss, and I was using it appropriately (when I was receiving it). I DO like hte idea of their being one set amount figured out as to the cost of raising children. Say research dictates that it takes 1000 dollars per month in order to provide a roof, clothing, food, utilities etc. Then BOTH parents SHOULD be required to provide a minimum of 500 dollars each, no matter the amount of income per parent. If the non-custodial wants t [provide more (like paul McCartney) then by all means let them. but they should be required to provide HALF of the average living costs per child. And yes, of course, the non-custodial would not be required to pay half the rent twice in the case of two kids. They WOULD however, be required to pay so much for food for each child; and clothing. Finally! The courts recognized that my ex was clearly just trying to get more money.... They required her to keep a monthly Excel spreadsheet with receipts to justify her request in support. We will review this with a court appointed mediator in one year. IMO, this should be required by the one receiving the support monthly. Especially for the parent paying who is deeply involved.... Feels good to get that off my chest i agree with this, for the most part. however, what if her claim isn't based solely on what she needs to raise the children, but is so that the lifestyles of the children don't differ that greatly from the home of one parent to the other? example: one parent is quite rich, but is able to 'hide' most of their income, or their income changes drastically, and the kids get to do all sorts of stuff with them: movies, dinner, vacations abroad, toys, games, etc. while the other parent has to watch every penny just to ensure that they are fed and clothed. it should not matter child support should be based on a govt standard as to what it costs to raise a child if you sign up for govt assistance and the rate per child is 150 a month then that is what child support should be and it should be divided between both parents it should not be dependent on the wage of the parent if one wants the lifestyle the other parent can provide then do not let the marriage end spread the wealth has been going on in the child support arena for far to long if any support is paid above the govt guide line for assistance then there should be a spread sheet for it and be accounted for Do not let the marriage end to maintain the same lifestyle? There are too many variables to go into here. But..come on..that's not reality. Spread the wealth with child support? Hello? The woman pays for everything when raising the child. The man helps. He helps!!! It doesn't even cover half. Sheesh.

daniel48706 Joined Fri 03/16/07 Posts: 8566	Fri 10/31/08 07:50 AM
i am not even going to TOUCH this one... have at it ladies. Child support is to help the child maintain the same lifestyle at both households. I know the child support I pay doesn't get all spent on my son, but it's not all for the child. It's to maintain an equal lifestyle.

Jim519 Joined Thu 12/27/07 Posts: 9203	Sat 11/01/08 04:22 AM
Everyones situation is different. Sounds like you have an ex not very involved and willing. Spreadhseets should be done in order to hold both parties accountable. In your situation, a spreadsheet of expenses would confirm what is needed and the courts would now have documentation of that and hopefully would change the order to suffice what is needed. Neither my ex or myself have sole custody of my child. It is shared legal. My ex is listed as the "residing" parent only, and that is just for school purposes. You state one parent doesnt even pay half? In my case based on our incomes, I contribute 63% toward the child support based on my states guidelines. As well as pay half of all co-pays,prescriptions, and extra curricular activities. As well, I buy all my own clothes for her. Being that said, I feel I contribute way more than enough. I should be fully entitled to see where the hard earned money I work for goes to in reference to my daughter. What I am really pushing for is whatever balance is not used go into a trust fund for my daughter. It is her money after all. the person paying child support does NOT pay even half, when they follow their local child support guidelines. This is a proven case more times than can be counted. Take for example my case. I have two children, and sole custody of both. between the three of us, we receive approximately 700 a month (between work, and their ssd). My ex takes home over 1600 a month, and is only required to pay 88 dollars a month for support. And that isnt even 88 per child. It is 88 TOTAL per month. I am scrambling today to find a halloween costume for one (if not both) of my children as I have had to put rent, groceries, etc above everything else. I asked her to send me 20 dollars so that I could get them a costume, and she has refused to do so. Now, does this sound right to you? The system needs to be overhauled big time, and it needs to be made fair for the children involved big time. This does NOT mean spreadsheets, or anything showing where the money goes. Every single state has a procedure to follow if the non-custodial parent is concerned about where the money is being spent, that requires them to hve the courts themselves intercede and investigate the issue. The payer does not have any right to know what specifically hte money is spent on. Again, I have been through this myself, as my ex decided to file a complaint to have me investigated to find out where the money was being spent. The courts looked into it and declared nothing was amiss, and I was using it appropriately (when I was receiving it). I DO like hte idea of their being one set amount figured out as to the cost of raising children. Say research dictates that it takes 1000 dollars per month in order to provide a roof, clothing, food, utilities etc. Then BOTH parents SHOULD be required to provide a minimum of 500 dollars each, no matter the amount of income per parent. If the non-custodial wants t [provide more (like paul McCartney) then by all means let them. but they should be required to provide HALF of the average living costs per child. And yes, of course, the non-custodial would not be required to pay half the rent twice in the case of two kids. They WOULD however, be required to pay so much for food for each child; and clothing. Finally! The courts recognized that my ex was clearly just trying to get more money.... They required her to keep a monthly Excel spreadsheet with receipts to justify her request in support. We will review this with a court appointed mediator in one year. IMO, this should be required by the one receiving the support monthly. Especially for the parent paying who is deeply involved.... Feels good to get that off my chest i agree with this, for the most part. however, what if her claim isn't based solely on what she needs to raise the children, but is so that the lifestyles of the children don't differ that greatly from the home of one parent to the other? example: one parent is quite rich, but is able to 'hide' most of their income, or their income changes drastically, and the kids get to do all sorts of stuff with them: movies, dinner, vacations abroad, toys, games, etc. while the other parent has to watch every penny just to ensure that they are fed and clothed. it should not matter child support should be based on a govt standard as to what it costs to raise a child if you sign up for govt assistance and the rate per child is 150 a month then that is what child support should be and it should be divided between both parents it should not be dependent on the wage of the parent if one wants the lifestyle the other parent can provide then do not let the marriage end spread the wealth has been going on in the child support arena for far to long if any support is paid above the govt guide line for assistance then there should be a spread sheet for it and be accounted for Do not let the marriage end to maintain the same lifestyle? There are too many variables to go into here. But..come on..that's not reality. Spread the wealth with child support? Hello? The woman pays for everything when raising the child. The man helps. He helps!!! It doesn't even cover half. Sheesh.

awolf1010 Joined Sun 03/30/08 Posts: 7251	Sat 11/01/08 04:35 AM
Finally! The courts recognized that my ex was clearly just trying to get more money.... They required her to keep a monthly Excel spreadsheet with receipts to justify her request in support. We will review this with a court appointed mediator in one year. IMO, this should be required by the one receiving the support monthly. Especially for the parent paying who is deeply involved.... Feels good to get that off my chest i agree with this, for the most part. however, what if her claim isn't based solely on what she needs to raise the children, but is so that the lifestyles of the children don't differ that greatly from the home of one parent to the other? example: one parent is quite rich, but is able to 'hide' most of their income, or their income changes drastically, and the kids get to do all sorts of stuff with them: movies, dinner, vacations abroad, toys, games, etc. while the other parent has to watch every penny just to ensure that they are fed and clothed. it should not matter child support should be based on a govt standard as to what it costs to raise a child if you sign up for govt assistance and the rate per child is 150 a month then that is what child support should be and it should be divided between both parents it should not be dependent on the wage of the parent if one wants the lifestyle the other parent can provide then do not let the marriage end spread the wealth has been going on in the child support arena for far to long if any support is paid above the govt guide line for assistance then there should be a spread sheet for it and be accounted for

cutelildevilsmom Joined Sat 04/07/07 Posts: 8862	Sat 11/01/08 06:36 AM
Child support is to help the child maintain the same lifestyle at both households. I know the child support I pay doesn't get all spent on my son, but it's not all for the child. It's to maintain an equal lifestyle. it is helping the other parent live the same life style as well if the parent can not maintain then maybe they should not be the custodial parent i know multiple cases ofwhere child support is used for what the parent wants rather than the needs of the child all support should be accounted for as directed by the op judge did and the other parent need to show where they are contributing to the support of the child as well and support should be a flat rate per the area of the divorce degree or the are you live in which ever is less (thus you can not get divorced in say cleveland and move to beverly hills and expect the other parent to pick up the tab for the move and upgrade in lifestyle the custodial parent should have to show proof of the expenses of the child and then they also need to put in their share of said expenses if they can not afford to be the custodial parent then maybe they should not be (these things are contingent on both parents wanting to be active in the child's life) if they are not active in the child's life then they should have to pay double and then some cause money will not raise a child but some think money can fix anything i also know of parents that can not afford to see their kids because their support is so high the system needs overhauled and maybe my ideas seem to harsh but something needs to be done (look at the state of the country after forty years of the system as it is now okay Robin your way off.my husband makes over three times my salary and believe me there will be no trips to Europe anytime soon.He also has not been in his son's life in 2 yrs .Since he hasn't visited his son in awhile that means I pay more for food,clothing etc.I can't work full time because daycare is outrageous and my son has issues.In the summer I pay half my salary in daycare.Some men do not want custody,are abusive etc.It's a fact women suffer economically worse after a divorce than a man does. If the government thinks 150.00 a month supports a kid then I will send them my grocery,clothing and school related receipts. Jim's case is different but each one should be taken case by case.By the way in NH it's 25% of your income so believe me he is not hurting.He has a new house,his freedom and a girlfriend.Meanwhile I live in a subsidized apartment,have never asked for more money and now I read I should pinch pennies to support a kid on 150 a month.I already use coupons,thrift stores and my sister and parents buy the school clothes.My son is already starting to grow out of his new pants.Meanwhile I haven't had new clothing in 3 yrs because my son is my life.So Robin your scenario does not apply to me.

papersmile Joined Fri 10/12/07 Posts: 5148	Sat 11/01/08 06:42 AM
accountability is needed maybe there would be fewer deadbeats if they could see where the money was going i like the way they make the parent in arrears accountable here in ontario: - garnish wages - garnish any lottery winnings - garnish any income tax returns - deny renewal of passport - deny renewal of driver's licence - jail

adj4u Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 21254	Sat 11/01/08 09:41 AM
to many are worried about the numbers i used and not the theory which is the issue when you cant see the forest for the trees ya need to be careful a bear does not get ya the system the way it is does not work efficiently but there are so many that would rather argue about keeping it the way it is than come up with ideas to fix it i did not come here to fight with anyone but ter quick to accuse and attack rather than offer other options is it expensive to raise kid yes it is is it hard to do it alone yes it is but it is just as hard if not harder not to raise them if you dis agree with that give yer kid to the other parent and you pay them the way you want them to pay you be well and hope things work out for you

FETTS61 Joined Sat 08/18/07 Posts: 31425	Sat 11/01/08 12:27 PM
accountability is needed maybe there would be fewer deadbeats if they could see where the money was going i like the way they make the parent in arrears accountable here in ontario: - garnish wages - garnish any lottery winnings - garnish any income tax returns - deny renewal of passport - deny renewal of driver's licence - jail ok, put me in jail, then i cant get caught up and pay and i lose my job, and no one will hire me because ive been in jail.. yeah THAT works out well

cutelildevilsmom Joined Sat 04/07/07 Posts: 8862	Sun 11/02/08 12:15 PM
to many are worried about the numbers i used and not the theory which is the issue when you cant see the forest for the trees ya need to be careful a bear does not get ya the system the way it is does not work efficiently but there are so many that would rather argue about keeping it the way it is than come up with ideas to fix it i did not come here to fight with anyone but ter quick to accuse and attack rather than offer other options is it expensive to raise kid yes it is is it hard to do it alone yes it is but it is just as hard if not harder not to raise them if you dis agree with that give yer kid to the other parent and you pay them the way you want them to pay you be well and hope things work out for you believe me i tried when he *****ed and he never took him.

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Sun 11/02/08 12:26 PM Edited by Jess642 on Sun 11/02/08 12:38 PM
Child support.... Physical presence... emotional presence....financial presence. Not prepared to commit to all of the above??? Keep your d*ck in your trousers, or your legs closed. It ain't rocket science. And unlike the 'act'...Child support in all three of the above is for LIFE. Whether some staticion with his slide rule says so, or not.