Topic: It already started in the first grade
Winx's photo
Wed 09/17/08 10:26 AM

AHHHHHH

now the assumptions made about me or my parenting are revealed!!!!!!!!

i work from home....
i can see the bus stop from my window
there are/were several other kids at the same bus stop
sometimes even other parents with their kids were there....at the community/neighborhood bus stop....

Still think it's neglect????




it is not neglect at any age to have a child wait at the bus stop


What you have described, overall, is neglect by having your children unaccompanied and unsupervised.



If you work at home, you can do it - be with them at the bus stop and cook for them.

Single mom's that have to be at work have it much rougher and regret that they can't do it. You are lucky that you can be there for them to let them know that they are safe and secure and a priority.

no photo
Wed 09/17/08 10:38 AM
i am a divorced father of 2...i have arranged my life so that i am able to "do" this..it has meant a less prestigious job, less money, less dating..etc etc....

i enjoy every minute of it......wouldn't have it any other way....

lilith an 11 year old can be "scooped" up just as easy as a 10 year old...just because the state sets and age doesn't make it any safer....

i enjoy playing devil's advocate....in order to "make" people think..(if that's possible)....or at least acknowledge that there may be an alternative view.....and it is a viable alternative...



lilly, perhaps, you could befriend the "cool" kids mom and share the "waiting at the bus stop"...duties.....




lilith401's photo
Wed 09/17/08 10:44 AM
DDN~

My son is 7 and rarely rides the bus as I drive him to Latchkey. When he does ride the bus, I wait with him. Jill's child is 10, not mine.

no photo
Wed 09/17/08 10:45 AM
this is what i meant


we all do what we think is right for our kids...and you know what......IT IS!!!

"Peace Love and Fruit Smoothies" is what we say around here..


If you can not reach out and stop them from being pulled into a van, then yes. But whatever makes you feel better, dude. It's your story and you can stick to it if you want.

Oh and I live in Ohio. The state laws here are over age 11. I spoke only for my own state.

snarkytwain's photo
Wed 09/17/08 11:22 AM
If you work at home, you can do it - be with them at the bus stop and cook for them.

Single mom's that have to be at work have it much rougher and regret that they can't do it. You are lucky that you can be there for them to let them know that they are safe and secure and a priority.


flowerforyou I was seperated from my ex two years ago. Until that point I was a stay-at-home mom. For 11 and a half years. Last year, when my kids had a nanny and I left the house before they woke up and was so tired by the time I got home that I had no energy left for them, was very hard on all of us. My kids were used to being with me. I was used to being with them. I didn't know their teachers, I didn't know their homework, I didn't even know what they ate for lunch. I felt awful.

I instituted a "night with mommy" where each of my kids had an hour after the others went to bed (from 8 to 9 pm), one night a week to spend one on one time with me. It works most nights (last night I was too tired and told my daughter we would do something on Saturday together to make up for it -- key there is followthrough. She wasn't upset because I had done the same for her big sister last weekend and saw I was good to my word) , and I use it even now because the kids love it as do I. But this year I arranged payment for my kids to come to the private school where I teach. Last night we had a pep rally where I was a silly cheerleader with a couple other teachers. Seeing my kids in the crowd, wearing school colors like me and screaming with the others... that almost made me cry. Being WITH them. It's more of a blessing than I can even explain.

My heart goes out to all single parents who are not as fortunate as I. Bless you all. flowerforyou

Lily0923's photo
Wed 09/17/08 01:40 PM

i am a divorced father of 2...i have arranged my life so that i am able to "do" this..it has meant a less prestigious job, less money, less dating..etc etc....

i enjoy every minute of it......wouldn't have it any other way....

lilith an 11 year old can be "scooped" up just as easy as a 10 year old...just because the state sets and age doesn't make it any safer....

i enjoy playing devil's advocate....in order to "make" people think..(if that's possible)....or at least acknowledge that there may be an alternative view.....and it is a viable alternative...



lilly, perhaps, you could befriend the "cool" kids mom and share the "waiting at the bus stop"...duties.....






I don't have an issue with being at the bus stop, you REALLY misread that.

As for devils advocate, please look up the word, for what you did was not play devils advocate, what you did do was hide all of the facts of the matter, which is deception.

My daughter is 6 she does 6 year old things, she does not cook for herself, she does clean her room. She does not walk to the bus stop by herself as I can't see it from my place. I stay at the bus stop until she gets on the bus. I also for the time being work from home, but am looking to go back to outside work soon, at that time she will go to a day care that she went to previously.

She has the responsibilities of a 6 year old I refuse to push her to grow up too fast. She just started the first grade and reads at a second grade level, my child also deals mostly with adults as I only have one child and my ex also only has her, and her cousins are 25 and 15 years old.

All of that is neither here nor there, my point to the thread was that parents don't take enough responsibility in parenting, and you have also proven my point.


Winx's photo
Wed 09/17/08 03:51 PM


i am a divorced father of 2...i have arranged my life so that i am able to "do" this..it has meant a less prestigious job, less money, less dating..etc etc....

i enjoy every minute of it......wouldn't have it any other way....

lilith an 11 year old can be "scooped" up just as easy as a 10 year old...just because the state sets and age doesn't make it any safer....

i enjoy playing devil's advocate....in order to "make" people think..(if that's possible)....or at least acknowledge that there may be an alternative view.....and it is a viable alternative...



lilly, perhaps, you could befriend the "cool" kids mom and share the "waiting at the bus stop"...duties.....






I don't have an issue with being at the bus stop, you REALLY misread that.

As for devils advocate, please look up the word, for what you did was not play devils advocate, what you did do was hide all of the facts of the matter, which is deception.

My daughter is 6 she does 6 year old things, she does not cook for herself, she does clean her room. She does not walk to the bus stop by herself as I can't see it from my place. I stay at the bus stop until she gets on the bus. I also for the time being work from home, but am looking to go back to outside work soon, at that time she will go to a day care that she went to previously.

She has the responsibilities of a 6 year old I refuse to push her to grow up too fast. She just started the first grade and reads at a second grade level, my child also deals mostly with adults as I only have one child and my ex also only has her, and her cousins are 25 and 15 years old.

All of that is neither here nor there, my point to the thread was that parents don't take enough responsibility in parenting, and you have also proven my point.




I am so with you on this. That is how I treated my child at that age.flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 09/17/08 08:00 PM
Edited by ddn122 on Wed 09/17/08 08:28 PM
i have reread my posts.... i do not see any deception on my part.....

deception would be, being married and speaking of your husband as a was-band



i am a divorced father of 2...i have arranged my life so that i am able to "do" this..it has meant a less prestigious job, less money, less dating..etc etc....

i enjoy every minute of it......wouldn't have it any other way....

lilith an 11 year old can be "scooped" up just as easy as a 10 year old...just because the state sets and age doesn't make it any safer....

i enjoy playing devil's advocate....in order to "make" people think..(if that's possible)....or at least acknowledge that there may be an alternative view.....and it is a viable alternative...



lilly, perhaps, you could befriend the "cool" kids mom and share the "waiting at the bus stop"...duties.....






I don't have an issue with being at the bus stop, you REALLY misread that.

As for devils advocate, please look up the word, for what you did was not play devils advocate, what you did do was hide all of the facts of the matter, which is deception.

My daughter is 6 she does 6 year old things, she does not cook for herself, she does clean her room. She does not walk to the bus stop by herself as I can't see it from my place. I stay at the bus stop until she gets on the bus. I also for the time being work from home, but am looking to go back to outside work soon, at that time she will go to a day care that she went to previously.

She has the responsibilities of a 6 year old I refuse to push her to grow up too fast. She just started the first grade and reads at a second grade level, my child also deals mostly with adults as I only have one child and my ex also only has her, and her cousins are 25 and 15 years old.

All of that is neither here nor there, my point to the thread was that parents don't take enough responsibility in parenting, and you have also proven my point.





a devil's advocate is someone who takes a position, sometimes one he or she disagrees with, for the sake of argument. This process can be used to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure.

missy51970's photo
Wed 09/17/08 08:59 PM
I rarely agree with Lillith but in this case.. i do agree...6 years old is too young to be waiting at a bus stop alone...

My youngest is 10 , she doesnt walk to school alone ever, however she is allowed to walk with a group of friends... When she was 6 I would have never even considered her waiting alone or walking even with friends... and I live in an extrememly rural area....

I dont think what youre (DDN) doing with your child is safe... you may want to reconsider..I mean better safe then sorry...wouldnt you hate to look back AFTER your kid has been missing for 4 months and think wow i should have waited with him and this wouldnt be happening

JusWannaSayHi's photo
Thu 09/18/08 02:07 AM

and I'm just not ready for it.

My daughter plays with this little boy at the bus stop, he's very nice and respectful of his mother...I LIKE THIS KID ALREADY.

This little girl who is a HELLION is my daughters friend one day and not the next...you know the story, happens all the time. This little girl has been at my house and the last time she was here was the LAST time she was invited over.

My daughter is playing with this little boy today waiting for the bus, and the hellion comes over walks between them and says "Come on Martin come play with me."

He says "In a minute"

The hellion stand there between them. Then the bus comes....

I looked at his mother, whom I have never actually talked to and said "thank you for raising a good little boy" She says to me "I like when he plays with her, thank you."

GAWD, I hate bratty little kids.









SOUNDS LIKE HER PARENTS OR PARENT NEED TO BE LEARNED HOW TO RAISE A RESPECTABLE CHILD...

Lily0923's photo
Thu 09/18/08 04:55 AM

a devil's advocate is someone who takes a position, sometimes one he or she disagrees with, for the sake of argument. This process can be used to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure.


Yes, and what you did was not include ALL of the facts, so therefor you were deceptive....

no photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:16 AM
where was deception on my part??????????....again, i have re-read all my posts....i don't see it!!!!!


what was deceptive?

franshade's photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:20 AM
ddn - you supplied enough vague information with the intention of being misunderstood and judged.

As I read it I called it a fishing expedition, you said what you knew would get negative feedback as normally parents are protective of their kids.

no photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:24 AM
this may be a more accurate description....(vague,as opposed to deceptive)...


fishing? yep...and they fell hook line and sinker.....

It is fun , yes????
isn't that why "most" are here...for entertainment purposes ?



ddn - you supplied enough vague information with the intention of being misunderstood and judged.

As I read it I called it a fishing expedition, you said what you knew would get negative feedback as normally parents are protective of their kids.

franshade's photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:26 AM

this may be a more accurate description....(vague,as opposed to deceptive)...


fishing? yep...and they fell hook line and sinker.....

It is fun , yes????
isn't that why "most" are here...for entertainment purposes ?



ddn - you supplied enough vague information with the intention of being misunderstood and judged.

As I read it I called it a fishing expedition, you said what you knew would get negative feedback as normally parents are protective of their kids.


sadly, you only entertained yourself devil

you cant get between most mother/parents and their kids :smile: first 'we' are protective, then everything else

Lily0923's photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:26 AM

ddn - you supplied enough vague information with the intention of being misunderstood and judged.

As I read it I called it a fishing expedition, you said what you knew would get negative feedback as normally parents are protective of their kids.


Had you said "My kid walks to the bus stop, I see him from my window and there are other kids and a few parents there.

That is what you ACTUALLY do.

What you said was "I let my kid walk alone all the time."

Lily0923's photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:28 AM

this may be a more accurate description....(vague,as opposed to deceptive)...


fishing? yep...and they fell hook line and sinker.....

It is fun , yes????
isn't that why "most" are here...for entertainment purposes ?



ddn - you supplied enough vague information with the intention of being misunderstood and judged.

As I read it I called it a fishing expedition, you said what you knew would get negative feedback as normally parents are protective of their kids.



<---- No longer reads DDN's posts.

franshade's photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:29 AM


ddn - you supplied enough vague information with the intention of being misunderstood and judged.

As I read it I called it a fishing expedition, you said what you knew would get negative feedback as normally parents are protective of their kids.


Had you said "My kid walks to the bus stop, I see him from my window and there are other kids and a few parents there.

That is what you ACTUALLY do.

What you said was "I let my kid walk alone all the time."


Lily - (flowerforyou morning sunshine) ddn was on a fishing expedition, nothing more

Lily0923's photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:32 AM
Oh so I should be insulted that he trashed my thread then...hhhmmmm just another reason to NOT read his posts...OK.

(((Fran))) :heart:

no photo
Thu 09/18/08 05:33 AM
sadly, you only entertained yourself devil



i am the only one , here!