HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom
wearing long dressing gown.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note - must do more sit-ups.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner
enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for
fifteen minutes.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
ten minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa
Cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it
has all come off).
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area
but decide to get it waxed instead.

Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and
you lose the water pressure.

Turn off the shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit,
tweeze hairs.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend and
hour and a half getting dressed.



HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at
her making the "woo-woo" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in
your gut to see if you have pecs (no).

Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and
scratch your ass.

Fart.

Get in the shower.

Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use
one).

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just
rinse it off.

Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the
soap bar.

Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). Make a
shampoo Mohawk. Peek out of shower curtain to look at
yourself in the mirror again.

Pee (in the shower).

Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice
water on the floor because you left the curtain
hanging out of the tub the whole time.

Partially dry off.

Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire
wiener size again.

Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the
floor.

Leave bathroom fan and light on.

Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If
you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener
at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on the bed.

Get dressed in under two minutes.

Fart.

That's great! I can't stop laughing!!! AHAAHA! AHAHAHAHA!

I think I lost it, thats great

Ha that's so amazingly true

how did you know..