Why wouldn't I ? You've done nothing to make me change my opinion of you.....

exactly and that trust just was....I didn't have to earn it......and the same should apply to a new relationship or a new person...

ahh this is where we differ. I believe TRUST is earned. Would you let a total stranger in your house and let them spend the night if they asked ? of course not.

I agree with Kojak to an extent-but at the same time you can't put on a suit of armor and go out and feel.......

Maybe it is wrong but with me you have to earn my trust and once it is damaged it takes for ever to patch it back up if it ever happens. I try to take everyone at face value but I am the first to admit I am very watchful of contridictions in people. And if I see even 1 I start digging to find the rest....

this may seem naive.. however..

I always go with my gut... and in order to enter my life (be it friends, business, romance, etc..) my trust is given... and stays in place until you break it.

I trust people at arms length, when they have proven themselves at that level, they can come a bit closer, when they have hit the point when they are enveloped in my arms..be it friend, romantic partner, whatever, I am loyal to them til the end, they have earned carte' blanche with me at that point.

Well it's depends on the circumstances but yes I would.....Because am I going to think this person in need has an agenda with needing a place to rest his head.

Not naive sister chica...giggle.....It's how it should be.

There are also people in the world you hear what they want to hear, and imagine things that are not true, simply because they want them to be. Those on the other end are not predators or game players, not unless they sought you out to hurt you. If they tried to be a friend, then I say they might be guilty of not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings.

The built in defense mechanism? It is called effective communication. It is a tool we can all choose to develop and utilize with judgment, or we can ignore it and live life in our own world and blame others for things we had control over. All the while, playing the victim.

I think you hit the nail on the head here lillith, I tend to put my cards on the table, and force the other party to do the same, if they don't I dismess them... I don't play games, and I think there are plenty of people on here and in IRL that can attest to this, I have no issues walking away if I don't feel the other person isn't on the same page as me.

It goes back to the sociopaths who don't like to get called out... all of a sudden they are the victim, and the other person is the perpatraitor.. It's funny, and I've been through that way too many times to count. (or twice in my life actually, but I should have learned the FIRST time)

Hence my arms lenght rule... I'm a people watcher, and a student of human nature...

Trust me

Imperically.....

Lily I like your arm's length rule.... it makes sense. I also think you are a very good communicator.

Mirror, of course, Absolutely.

i beleive trust is earned.... but also believe that distrust is earned...

hu hu, I talk real good don't I .... I don't mince my words, keeps me out of alot of trouble that way.

My favorite quote "you can tell the same lie to a thousand people, it doesn't make it anymore true than the first time you told it." -AMC 2008.

I believe that everyone has a clean slate where trust is given in the begining. If you are not honest and forthright, a game player or what ever you loose trust.

beautiful......and right on...



(((((((((lilith))))))))))) miss you

I do

i think trust is a big issue with everyone inculding me