Community > General Discussion

Topic: Trust
MisKim323 Joined Sat 06/28/08 Posts: 14563	Sat 08/02/08 07:03 AM
I trust untill given reason not to I agree to a certain extent in theory. Giving trust works best when you are dealing with a local person. What of a site like this where people are sharing feelings and details of their lives to words on a page or a voice on the phone? Still applies ...I will trust until given reason not to...

SKPCG Joined Mon 03/03/08 Posts: 14708	Sat 08/02/08 07:05 AM
There is a certain level of trust that you always give but for the most part trust is something that must be earned. VERY ASTUTE and RIGHT ON TARGET!!

Jules0565 Joined Fri 06/06/08 Posts: 4485	Sat 08/02/08 07:06 AM
Jules, I sent you mail last night. Did you ever get it? No, I sure didn't!! hmm.. wonder why??? I like mail! Try to resend? Done Still nothing.. I just sent you one, did you get it?

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Sat 08/02/08 07:08 AM
Jules, I sent you mail last night. Did you ever get it? No, I sure didn't!! hmm.. wonder why??? I like mail! Try to resend? Done Still nothing.. I just sent you one, did you get it? Yes, I did... Very strange that you did not get either of mine. This is not the first time it has happened to me lately. In fact, I sent off about a dozen e-mails yesterday that have not been opened... Hmmmmmmm

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Sat 08/02/08 07:11 AM
if you want to have functional relationships with new people then you must extend trust. otherwise, live a fear ridden, paranoid existence in which all are assumed adversaries - in a state of perpetual distrust and anxiety. trust must be given. it is the continuation and development of trustworthiness which is earned and like friendship grows more and more valuable over time. "trust everybody, but cut the cards..." -Finley Peter Dunne

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sat 08/02/08 07:11 AM
I trust untill given reason not to I agree to a certain extent in theory. Giving trust works best when you are dealing with a local person. What of a site like this where people are sharing feelings and details of their lives to words on a page or a voice on the phone? Sorry don't agree....cuz then your just setting yourself up for the fall.....Especially when there is no physical and the lines of communication are so open...Most people in life have the physical first you can see, touch, smell.....But on line you have just the communication. Why would you go into any relationship with a stumbling block of non trust. Now if that person said I am only talking to you like that Mitch and you found out different.....well then trust then becomes a factor.

alicat4213 Joined Thu 11/15/07 Posts: 9079	Sat 08/02/08 07:13 AM
For me trust needs to earned I've been f*cked over since I was little by everyone in my life that I can no longer just give it out.

MisKim323 Joined Sat 06/28/08 Posts: 14563	Sat 08/02/08 07:18 AM
I trust untill given reason not to I agree to a certain extent in theory. Giving trust works best when you are dealing with a local person. What of a site like this where people are sharing feelings and details of their lives to words on a page or a voice on the phone? Sorry don't agree....cuz then your just setting yourself up for the fall.....Especially when there is no physical and the lines of communication are so open...Most people in life have the physical first you can see, touch, smell.....But on line you have just the communication. Why would you go into any relationship with a stumbling block of non trust. Now if that person said I am only talking to you like that Mitch and you found out different.....well then trust then becomes a factor. No...no....no...not as in a relationship, maybe I am just confused....I take my time and talk to people for quite awhile before ever giving my number...my rule #1...and normally during the first few contacts, if you read them carefully, you can tell what kind of person they are, maybe it is all my past experience, but I always give the benefit of the doubt...and pay very close attention to what they are saying to me...I have only given my number to 2 people...a female friend and a man that I still to this day hold dear...but as I said, talked to them extensively before giving them my number

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Sat 08/02/08 07:19 AM
I trust untill given reason not to I agree to a certain extent in theory. Giving trust works best when you are dealing with a local person. What of a site like this where people are sharing feelings and details of their lives to words on a page or a voice on the phone? Sorry don't agree....cuz then your just setting yourself up for the fall.....Especially when there is no physical and the lines of communication are so open...Most people in life have the physical first you can see, touch, smell.....But on line you have just the communication. Why would you go into any relationship with a stumbling block of non trust. Now if that person said I am only talking to you like that Mitch and you found out different.....well then trust then becomes a factor. In order to truly trust, I need to be able to look the person in the eyes. Sorry, that is just me I guess.

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sat 08/02/08 07:21 AM
For me trust needs to earned I've been f*cked over since I was little by everyone in my life that I can no longer just give it out. And this it what so screws people in relationships.....the past is called that for a reason...you learn from it and then let it go. You go into every relationship giving only 50% and your doomed to fail imo. As the matchmaker I have worked with many people where this is an issue......take down the walls I say...one brick at a time. Let go of the past and look at the new with an open mind. It's easy to not trust....it's hard to trust with all your heart and all your soul from the start....Don't take something new and beautiful and turn it into ugly because "past" twinkleheads...

johnboy072472 Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 4874	Sat 08/02/08 07:22 AM
should be earned and not given. Do you agree or disagree? Personally, I believe the former. I've given trust in the past only to be burned every time. I trust no one.............

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sat 08/02/08 07:22 AM Edited by feralcatlady on Sat 08/02/08 07:24 AM
I trust untill given reason not to I agree to a certain extent in theory. Giving trust works best when you are dealing with a local person. What of a site like this where people are sharing feelings and details of their lives to words on a page or a voice on the phone? Sorry don't agree....cuz then your just setting yourself up for the fall.....Especially when there is no physical and the lines of communication are so open...Most people in life have the physical first you can see, touch, smell.....But on line you have just the communication. Why would you go into any relationship with a stumbling block of non trust. Now if that person said I am only talking to you like that Mitch and you found out different.....well then trust then becomes a factor. In order to truly trust, I need to be able to look the person in the eyes. Sorry, that is just me I guess. This just makes me think....hmmmmm is mitch it the right genre to find someone...... Life is way to short for some much baggage people.....I can see waiting to give a number to someone until you know them....but put the walls up and it's doomed.....No one said it was easy.....but if your are not vulnerable and open then you will be stuck in past crap forever.

MisKim323 Joined Sat 06/28/08 Posts: 14563	Sat 08/02/08 07:23 AM
if you want to have functional relationships with new people then you must extend trust. otherwise, live a fear ridden, paranoid existence in which all are assumed adversaries - in a state of perpetual distrust and anxiety. trust must be given. it is the continuation and development of trustworthiness which is earned and like friendship grows more and more valuable over time. "trust everybody, but cut the cards..." -Finley Peter Dunne I completely agree

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Sat 08/02/08 07:24 AM
I trust untill given reason not to I agree to a certain extent in theory. Giving trust works best when you are dealing with a local person. What of a site like this where people are sharing feelings and details of their lives to words on a page or a voice on the phone? Sorry don't agree....cuz then your just setting yourself up for the fall.....Especially when there is no physical and the lines of communication are so open...Most people in life have the physical first you can see, touch, smell.....But on line you have just the communication. Why would you go into any relationship with a stumbling block of non trust. Now if that person said I am only talking to you like that Mitch and you found out different.....well then trust then becomes a factor. In order to truly trust, I need to be able to look the person in the eyes. Sorry, that is just me I guess. This just makes me think....hmmmmm is mitch it the right genre to find someone...... Good question Deb

TravelArranger Joined Sun 02/25/07 Posts: 5214	Sat 08/02/08 07:26 AM
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sat 08/02/08 07:27 AM
I heart you mitch.... Also I say to all....If your hear to find love....and you lock your heart up.....what is the purpose......Because I don't want to get hurt....whaaaa whaaaaa who said life was fair and get over it....your going to get hurt it's part of life....but hold back and guard and pfffttttt you might as well be dead.

RKISIT Joined Tue 01/08/08 Posts: 16721	Sat 08/02/08 07:31 AM
it has to be earned pretty much now days

Unknow Joined Sat 12/15/07 Posts: 41170	Sat 08/02/08 07:33 AM
I heart you mitch.... Also I say to all....If your hear to find love....and you lock your heart up.....what is the purpose......Because I don't want to get hurt....whaaaa whaaaaa who said life was fair and get over it....your going to get hurt it's part of life....but hold back and guard and pfffttttt you might as well be dead. I never have and never will lock up my heart. The fact is I tend to wear it out on my sleeve.

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sat 08/02/08 07:35 AM
it has to be earned pretty much now days Don't you think it put unnecessary expectations on someone.....tell me exactly how does someone earn your trust.....and if you go into it not trusting could anyone truly live up to those expectations.

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sat 08/02/08 07:37 AM
I heart you mitch.... Also I say to all....If your hear to find love....and you lock your heart up.....what is the purpose......Because I don't want to get hurt....whaaaa whaaaaa who said life was fair and get over it....your going to get hurt it's part of life....but hold back and guard and pfffttttt you might as well be dead. I never have and never will lock up my heart. The fact is I tend to wear it out on my sleeve. Which is what you are supposed to do.....like I said guard it and "think" your not going to get hurt is a lame excuse. Go in with high expectations for yourself and let someone see all aspects of you....good things happen.....guard part of you or let someone only in part way....and your doomed to fail....