Okay.... I had a date last night. The guy brought up his ex three times in the first 45 minutes. This included telling me they broke up in January and he was "devastated" and "physically ill". He was "lost" and she just "walked away"..... I know more about her than I ever cared to.

Why do people feel the need to talk about their exes on the first date? I mean I can understand the whole why are you single thing, and a brief conversation/explanation, but really! More importantly, why do people date before they are over their ex? It is infuriating.

The date had other problems, but he did not seem to notice. I heard the old I don't watch TV or listen to mainstream radio line... I don't keep up with current events. When he asked me out again, he did not even look me in the eye. We were standing outside, I'm looking right at him, and he is totally avoiding looking at me. WTH????

hope you said no

wow maybe someone should school him

ditto

he suxs but how was dinner?

I agree I dont understand why people insist on bringing a 3rd person on a date because if I had wanted a 3rd wheel, I'd have brought one

brush it off, better out there especially for you Lilith!!!!

I'm sorry honey... thats just crap. LOL and when you tell him no, be sure to tell him why and maybe he will knock this crap off

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!

You know, I thought about it. I just said give me a call... and intend on just letting him down over the phone if he calls.

I figured if he couldn't look me in the eye when asking me out, it might be mean to just say "No way, you are so not over your ex" right out there.

That over some Linguini with marinara...and then off to an Entimology lecture sounds like quite an evening!

sounds like me, with out the massive amounts of alcohol and mashed potatoes.
Did he perchance forget to wear pants? I do that often.

No dinner. I arrived early and had a drink, and told the bartender the deal to keep an eye out.

He came and ordered a beer, and I ordered a second drink, which he did not pay for or acknowledge. I can pay my way, but not to offer or acknowledge is rude. The bartender laughed and made funny faces after that. He even asked me (in the hall after I came from the ladies room) how it was going. Obviously, not well.

I left after 1.5 hours. Gave the old, I got to get up early for work line and still have stuff to do. I try to make my first dates just a drink or coffee so I'm not stuck for a meal. That can be an eternity.

subtlety is wasted on men...next time be direct

truly suxs Lilith, thought at least you'd have a good time, but it's true a lot of people dont know what they want, dont know how to let go, and dont know how to move on.

May be why airlines are now charging extra for the luggage trying to keep it light

I plan on being direct, but not at the expense of being cruel. That was not the time for him, trust me.

Trust me, I am not a person who struggles with being vague.

I am just so sick of the bad dates, Fran.

The ex factor tends to account for at least 50% of the situation, in my experience.

shocking lol you normally hold back so well

Ques Lilith, did you ask him outright why he brought her into the conversation???

Lilith, I won't patronize you or insult you by saying 'well, at least you HAD a date'!

Seriously, though - you raise a valid point ... if an individual is not ready to be 100% focused on someone new, then they're simply using their 'date' to assuage their loneliness; which is both immature and selfish.

"... to the left, to the left"

Jill, I know... I'm shy and coy...

Fran~ Nope.. it started with camping, which he has a passion for. Out of all the camping stories, he chose the one where he took her camping and she freaked and he brought her home at 3am.....

I asked how old she was, he said "twenties".... he will be 37.

I had already had the why are you single conversation with him on the phone and he did not bring it up in call number two.... so I knew he brought her up as he was not over her. No need to hammer it home he was acting a fool.

The "Poor Me's" are right here...already figured into your budget and you can wear PJs.