Topic: Waiting & Missing You | |
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These are a couple of poems that I wrote for my ex when we were doing a trial separation to try and get back on the same page. One night I left a copy of these on the kitchen table along with some flowers trying to show that I cared for her and needed to know what she wanted. To my surprise she got pissed about it and finally just told me she didnt want to be with me any longer. Im just curious to see what other people have to say about them.
WAITING We fight, we feud. Communication is so crude. We sit, we wonder, What’s the answer to our blunder? We plan and ponder, Live apart or stay together? Alone wins the fight Two weeks and what a delight. Receptivity never stronger However we still are not together. Engaged, yes we are Loving you is my hearts desire One challenge still to face, It’s up to us to decide the pace. Move forward together Or be independent, alone forever MISSING YOU I miss the way you put a smile on my face I miss your hair all over the place I miss the good times we have together I miss the sound of your laugher I miss seeing you every day I miss the looks of your curve-ish body I miss holding you at night and snuggling close and tight I miss the sound when you speak I miss you teasing me with a peek I miss the sensation of your kiss Is it I that you miss? |
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very nice
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Great Boss - Nice one |
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Pretty deep, but I would have went without the "alone forever" at the end of the first poem. If you were trying to win her back, those two words would have been pretty counterproductive, especially placed at the end. I like the phrasing though.
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Edited by
Biniecki
on
Wed 07/16/08 08:50 PM
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Thanks I put a lot of effort into WAITING. MISSING YOU was kinda something i just threw together pretty fast. I hardly ever write poetry but when i get so much emotion trapped inside about something it seems to be my release
Pretty deep, but I would have went without the "alone forever" at the end of the first poem. If you were trying to win her back, those two words would have been pretty counterproductive, especially placed at the end. I like the phrasing though. I was trying to force her to make a decision that she had been avoiding for quiet sometime. I wanted to be drastic and let her know that she can be with me and we can move forward together or if not then I was done there would be no additional chances. It seemed to work, she made her decision. Wasn't the one I would have liked but I had a feeling it was going to work out that way. I had my suspicions that she was cheating on me which indeed she was but will never admitted it |
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Very sweet and well written hon!
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Thanks
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