Banned From Wallmart...

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women,
she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
from the local Wallmart.


Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below, and
are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department, and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.

7. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and
screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

9. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the
clerk where the antidepressants were.

10. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission Impossible' theme.

11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least.

14. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Tom Richards
Wallmart Manager

does this man have a brother cuz I really need a husband....

That was corny. How would they know her name for the letter?

i thaught it was funny..

and its a joke so the lack of logic is allowed

I am sure after her husband did all that- they tracked them down!

I'm seriously thinking about trying #12.

exactly! its a joke bro, you gotta take it at face value or it looses it's flair!

i thought it was great!!

Good'un, Ms Teddy...How are you?

And the wife goes....

That was great, sent it to some of my friends in email