that is a lesson I must take to heart.

But sometimes my "not nice" stuff is really funny...

HC~ Words do matter. Even if we hear or read only what we want. It's still communication. And I can attest that more often than not, I hear and read exactly what was intended, and I tend to recall the most malicious and the kindest. What's maddening is when mean things are said in anger and misunderstanding and weigh heavily on a person. Such a gift to be able to communicate, but also too much power given to words.

You are so right...

words themself are just the delivery agent of thoughts and feelings, what matters is where they come from. If someone doesn't take time to understand, comprehend, or clarify then that's their issue not the person who delivered the words!

How can anyone misunderstand this ? .......................... You tell them Chick!

true. but what if someone is hurt due to a misinterpretation of your words..are you at fault?

I love you Bonny!!

now you know nora .. communication is not what I say it's what you hear .. but heck life would be pretty dang boring if I heard nothing

boring..but calm...I can't insult anyone if I keep my mouth shut...

misinterpretations are avoided by trying not to be reactive, but proactive! In talking about how you are hurt, then the situation can be diverted from hurt.

unless, the intentions of the speaker is to hurt. You still have to be proactive and recognize that the person meant to hurt and take it as you will.

to Hicker, you would have been so proud of me..................I just verbally smacked someone's azz whilst out shopping and got my money back

ah. word power at its best!

hmm..what I am talking about is situations where I say one thing but the person hears something else..they attribute intent that was not there..there is not much you can do if they won't listen..if they take your words and decide that meant something that you never did mean...

Yep, where would we be without words? Miss Bonny is no one's fool, you should have seen the shopkeeper's face ! Oh,I'm so evil!

but you're tooo funny to ever be quieted. sad day that would be

Why would anyone want to do that? Hell would freeze over first !!!!!!

superior thoughts at work here

I had a conversation, the other day, with my mi amor about this situation. He pointed out that I 'read between the lines' and/or assume their is more to his words than there really is intended by him. I thought about his observation and realize that this is a learned defense mechanism due to past experience. Yes this is a good trait for me to have with my social work career, but when starting to get to know someone that I might have a relationship with isn't good. When I told him this he told me that I was being too hard on myself, that he realizes that my past experience shape me now, and that until I can completely trust him that I will continue to do this.

I think it applies here. People read between the lines and assume that there is a motive behind the words or there is an intent to harm or there is more to the words than the words themself.

[ok, i dont know if that made any sense... too much energy this morning. btw hows your daughter doing?]

ah quit it robert!