Could it be that you're jumping the gun on the sex a little and not waiting til there's a real emotional bond first? Don't know, just asking?

i'm afraid of spiders

Same here bro

You might have to explain to them what commitment means to you. Maybe commitment means sex to them.

thanks everyone for ur opinions, it's hard to figure things out when men are telling u what they want to hear. I even tried that I'm not going to put out until i know there staying and when I told guys that they ran the other way. I can't win! But i will not give up. I know he's out there somewhere. I hope.

buy the way, i'm afraid of spiders too! lol

Exactly, it goes both ways. I have been used for sex. It emotionally hurts a great deal. I know the feeling.

My advice is to get a rabbit vibrator and don't let them go down the chimney until they prove to be loving and caring. Tell them this in the beginning so you won't waste your time on another loser.

I am afraid of commitment....with the wrong people. Once I understood how to differentiate between the "wrong people" and the "right person" (because there is only one), I lost the fear. Not saying I couldn't make a mistake -- I have several medals for that already -- just that the concept of commitment is not so scary when you know someone is truly worth committing to.

I think that can go both ways actually.

simple solution...... dont give them any too quickly..... its not always that they got some and ran. sometimes its they spent time and realized it didnt click personality wise.......

commitment is much longer term that what you speak of... so how can you honestly say you were commited either?<not saying that your not capeable> just saying maybe they are capeable too with the right person.women have a hard time commiting as a man does in my eyes...

i love the threads that insinuate that its always the mans fault... when in fact it was both the man and woman

I agree, as the gender lines continue to blur more women are equally seeking instant grat -v- getting deeply involved with its potential for pain of loss.

But fear not, there are men and women out there who want the real thing and are willing to do what it takes to keep it. We're just hard to see beyond the glitter.

Hang in there . . .

I am never going to give up hope unless it is right after a relationship breaks apart. One thing I am getting leary of is the mind games. If I sense that happening I am talking to the person and if they do not improve then it is good bye. I don't need that crap in my head.

Ok what i'm about to say, you all need to understand this does happen and it's not me saying cmcook1114 is easy


I read your post and to me it sounds like you give in to easy as for as giving them what they want, but what about you? Why not take your time with somone because it seems like you go from talking to them for a little bit to sleeping with them and they get what they want. Try not giving them what they want for a change and that alone will tell you if there going to stick around or not. The fact is that most men on this site or any are just looking for sex and then you have the few that are actually looking for somone and then you have the ones that just want friends. So why not Try being friends first and go from there...

Im not affraid of commitment, im just affraid of commitment to the wrong woman, thats all

Ditto, been there, bought the t-shirt

i don't think its the commitment moreso than the fear of a bad relationship.

Shadow (as well as all you guys), please try to understand something. A majority of women have lived within the illusion that somehow SEX and LOVE go hand in hand. We (as a whole) are led to believe that sex is a natural step in a relationship...and sometimes we fail to see that it may not be the "next step" but the final goal. And let's not forget that those "3 little words" can be powerful ammunition. Many of us long to hear someone profess their love for us...it's a natural human need to be needed, wanted and loved. We desire to be desired. We need to be needed. And the heart is a powerful thing. Many people have succombed to the ideas of their heart while their head was screaming "NOOOO!!!!"

I don't think the problem lies completely with the one being "used". While we all must shoudler some blame for the mishaps and mistakes in our lives...the "user" must carry the brunt of the fault. In all honestly, if you're really looking to just get a piece...there are plenty of people looking for the same thing. Cripe, any one of us could walk into our local bar and walk out with someone to please any physical desire. People who PREY on the lovelorn are PREDETORS...IMHO.

My advice...be a little more cautious. Don't be so quick to blindly believe the words that come out of someone's mouth. Actions speak louder, and a REAL relationship...based of LOVE, RESPECT and INTEGRITY will present itself differently than the men you've met in the past. Good things come to those who wait...

This is a good point, when one puts themselves out there, only to get burned time and again, it makes one wary to do it again. You become jaded.

Those are the people I do not want to talk to. If someone fears me how can I ever hope to gain their trust? Through time? BS.

They keep slipping back as I approach them mentally. No that is a head game. Get the head straight and then look for love. Don't go into it thinking your partner is there to screw you over. That's so wrong!

i dont like committment. and i have a vajaja